E. Jean Carroll writes the most popular column for young women in America called Ask E. Jean. It runs in Elle, the world’s largest fashion magazine. It is -– incredibly! -- the longest-running advice column in publishing. E. Jean created Dope Astrology as a cheeky way to comment on celebrity style, sex, and politics.

E. Jean was nominated for an Emmy for writing for Saturday Night Live. She is the author of four books, including the highly acclaimed Hunter: The Strange and Savage Life of Hunter Thompson. She was contributing editor to Esquire. (Her beat was “Sex in America”). She was also contributing editor to Outside. (Beat: “Mischievousness Out-of-Doors.”)

E. Jean has gone off the deep-end many times and founded several web sites: GreatBoyfriends.com (which Oprah said was “the greatest idea ever”); AskEJean.com ( where visitors can type in a question and receive an instant video answer), and is currently in crazed- goofball-startup mode with Flaab.com

Blog Entries by E. Jean Carroll

Sweat Lodges Are Sitting Bull

Posted October 22, 2009 | 03:23 PM (EST)


After reading the horrifying reports from eyewitnesses about the so-called "New Age Guru," James Arthur Ray, forcing people to stay inside a sweat lodge while his "followers" vomited, lost consciousness and died, I have the following observations:

Anyone who charges you $9,695 dollars to make you so ill you must...

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How to Sell Your Maidenhead

4 Comments | Posted October 8, 2009 | 05:50 PM (EST)


DEAR E. JEAN: I'm a twenty-one-year-old virgin fishing for a sugar daddy who'll launch me into a life of caviar and beautiful clothes. I've recently heard about the American grad student auctioning off her virginity. She's currently considering bids up to $3.7 million. I want to attempt the same. It...

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Fashion Week: Prettier Brains for Fall

2 Comments | Posted September 6, 2009 | 02:48 PM (EST)


Dear E. Jean: How do I stop procrastinating? Please give me real concrete methods.
--I Even Put Off Writing This Question!

Dear Miss I Put Off Writing This Question: And I put off answering it. Now, if everybody will simply put off reading it, we will...

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The Ersatz Orgasm

9 Comments | Posted July 23, 2009 | 02:53 PM (EST)


DEAR E. JEAN: I've successfully faked it for years with every man I've been with. In fact, I've NEVER had an orgasm with anyone but myself. (I mean never! This includes missionary position, me on top, from behind, the side, standing up, in the shower, etc.)
I'm...

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"The Art of War" Kicks the Ass of "The Art of Love"

Posted February 17, 2009 | 03:12 PM (EST)


The greatest book about the battle of the sexes is not Ovid's The Art of Love -- though that is a seriously huge kick. No, the greatest book about love is the Art of War by the Chinese general Sun Tzu. So gather round, my rogues. Lift your martinis and...

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The Dope Astrology Predictions For 2010 (2009 Is Already Shot)

Posted January 6, 2009 | 06:52 PM (EST)


The dingbats who write the newspaper horoscopes have once again ruined everything by publishing their nincompoop predictions for 2009. I ask you, dear Huffington Post readers, should old ladies who believe in astrology be allowed to forecast anything?

The ominously beautiful Dope Astrologers -- Jilly Gagnon, Adrianne Frost and...

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Should I Get New Breasts in 2009?

Posted January 2, 2009 | 12:58 PM (EST)


Dear E. Jean:

Please put me out of my misery. For a year I've been tormented: Should I give in to vanity and get modest-size breast implants, or should I endure my saggy breasts, which are causing me to lose my desire for sex? I'm a 28-year-old mother of two,...

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2008 Enemies List: The Top Ten Vile Persons Who Forced Us To Lose Weight

Posted December 27, 2008 | 11:13 PM (EST)


Power lists, as we all know, are pure tripe. Forbes, Vanity Fair, and Entertainment Weekly have been doing lists for years; and it's always the same old dingbats riding at the top.

So Flaab.com is releasing its first annual Enemies List. It is an unusual list because it's...

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Ask E. Jean: How Oprah Can Lose that 40 Pounds

Posted December 10, 2008 | 01:21 PM (EST)


My Dear Oprah: I've seen you on the cover of your magazine saying that you are "mad at yourself" because you've gained forty pounds. My Queen! I have a solution for you! Indeed, I'd like to see you try to keep the weight on after you have a whirl...

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Ask E. Jean: How Do I Get a Celebrity To Marry Me?

Posted December 2, 2008 | 04:55 PM (EST)


Dear E. Jean: Two years ago I fell in love with a legendary superstar when he walked into an exhibition I was having in New York. He's twenty years older, a creative genius, and busier than anyone I've ever known. I see him at best three times a month, at...

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Angelina Will Set Her Sights on Stealing Ling Ling's Husband!

Posted November 25, 2008 | 02:47 PM (EST)


Alas, I have discovered that old timey, stodgy "advice" to movie stars and politicians doesn't work. What they need are "predictions."

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