White House Senior Advisor Valerie Jarrett said and did the right thing to the mother of 14 year old Justin Aaberg whose suicide after relentless homophobic bullying sparked national rage. She met her backstage at a Human Rights Campaign event. She offered compassion, condolence, regret, and firm support to the mother. But Jarrett's sincere and heartfelt support for Aaberg wasn't enough. She uttered two fatal words that dumped her on the hot seat with gay groups. Her two words were "lifestyle choice" to describe the support Aaberg's classmates gave him. Jarrett scrambled fast and did a profuse mea culpa for implying that Aaberg's sexual preference was a choice.
Jarrett should have saved the apology. Her record in support of gay issues and LGBT organizations is impeccable. This should have rendered her words at best a personal view at worst simply an inadvertent characterization.
Geneticists, scientists and behaviorists have waged passionate debate over whether sexual preference is a choice or genetically endowed. The hard truth--at least so far-- is that it's both. Studies have shown that sexual orientation tends to cluster in families, and that extended families may share similar child-rearing practices, religion and other beliefs that could also influence sexual orientation. DNA research and studies of identical twins to determine nature or nurture on sexual preference has been a mixed bag with no conclusive answer. Researchers with no religious or ideological ax to grind agree that there are several genes that interact with non genetic factors, including psychological and social influences, to determine sexual orientation. In other words,
some men and women chose same sexual preference solely because this is their preference whether there's a genetic predisposition or not. To pillory Jarrett for this characterization goes way off the deep end and badly misses the point that national attention, focus and action must be on holding parents, educators, law enforcement, and policymakers to the fire to take homophobic bullying seriously. It's a deadly threat to countless numbers of adolescents and must be stopped. This and only this was Jarrett's message. And this and only this should be ample reason for gay groups to applaud Jarrett.
But let's be realistic. Jarrett was not dumped on the hot seat solely for her use of the words "lifestyle choice" to describe Aaberg. She was there in part because of whom she is and what she represents. The whom and the what is the White House. And some gay groups have been ticked at President Obama for a while because of his less than full throttle push to dump DADT, and his still deep ambivalence about gay marriage. This is just as much a pity as plopping Jarrett on the hot set for her words.
Obama is by far the best friend that gays could have in the White House. He backed gay rights in speeches and legislation 18 times before he grabbed the White House. He showed the same support and sensitivity and courage in his appointments, including the appointment of David Heubner, the first openly gay person as ambassador to New Zealand. He's only the second president to speak at the annual dinner of the Human Rights Campaign.
The one other stumbling block that the gay rights activists that pound Obama must come to grips with and that is that a majority of blacks still bristle at the notion that the fight to legalize gay marriage is in any way comparable to the fight for black rights. Polls show that more Americans than ever say that they support civil rights for gays, and a torrent of gay themed TV shows present non-stereotypical depictions of gays. However, this increased tolerance has not dissipated the hostility that far too many blacks feel toward gay marriage. Gay rights activists badly missed this when they blew off black civil rights and community activists in their battle against California's anti gay initiative, Proposition 8.
Obama and Jarrett hardly fit that bill They were staunch opponents of the initiative, and would oppose any other anti-gay measures. Their stance is keeping with the view that bigotry against gays is the single biggest thing that creates the climate that drives young men such as Aaberg to kill themselves. Jarrett made that point forcefully and compassionately and challenged others to do the same. She owes gay groups no apology.
Earl Ofari Hutchinson is an author and political analyst. He hosts a nationally broadcast political affairs radio talk show on Pacifica and KTYM Radio Los Angeles.
Follow Earl Ofari Hutchinson on Twitter: http://twitter.com/earlhutchinson
Follow Earl Ofari Hutchinson on Twitter: www.twitter.com/earlhutchinson
Valerie Jarrett represents a Whitehouse that has failed miserably at its promises to the LGBT community. It's nice that BHO has shown up to a few dinners for the professional gays, hoping they will open their wallets in future. But he has made little, if any, progress for people's everyday lives. And because of this, he and his representatives are going to be under more scrutiny.
Gay rights folks may have made their share of errors during Prop 8 (which seems, sort of irrelevant to the matter at hand, but you brought it up). But BHO's own words were used for the other side, and he did nothing of significance to set the record straight.
Funny - because the wide consensus among medical professionals is that it isn't both. Is that the truth, or is it your own homophobic belief? Did you choose your heterosexuality?
"Researchers with no religious or ideological ax to grind agree that there are several genes that interact with non genetic factors, including psychological and social influences, to *determine* sexual orientation. In other words, some men and women *chose* same sexual preference..." (emphasis mine)
"Determine" and "choose" are polar opposites of each other. You are making up a conclusion with literally no relevance to the facts you cite.
"Gay rights activists badly missed this when they blew off black civil rights..."
How many more times is a black activist going to insult our intelligence by pretending that if only we had talked to you, you would have supported us? It's particularly bizarre when juxtaposed with your claim that homosexuality is a choice. You would not have supported us because African-Americans are, as a group, extremely homophobic, as you yourself acknowledge.
"Obama is by far the best friend that gays could have in the White House."
That is a patently false statement.
You've taken it completely out of context to talk about whether homosexuality is a choice. A boy died of suicide because obviously he felt he had no choice.
Also, too often people come up with the "can't find the gene" angle. This is ignorance. Research into lots of other things, such as Alzheimer's disease, has had a hard time finding "genes". In fact, researchers are now looking at epigenetics. Genes are more like hotels; epi-genes are like hotel rooms. The building blocks are turning out to be smaller than we'd prefer to think. It's not the easy answer.
But no one "chooses" to get Alzheimer's, and research suggests it's inherited and predictive.
No one "chooses" their sexual orientation. They choose whether to act on that orientation. We have seen from Ted Haggard, Larry Craig, and Eddie Long that even pretending to lead a "hetero lifestyle" did not get rid of their urges for male-male sexual activity.
Finally, I'm sure that if this comment came from a Republican, you'd be all over it.
I agree, she has been (and is) a advocate for gay rights both in the OWH but, more significantly in this case, as a part of Richard Daley's administration.
And as such an advocate, she should know the up to date terminology to use.
It would be as if, say, an elected Republican official (or a staff person of said official) referred to Obama as, say, the nation's first "Negro" or "colored" president.
Technically that wouldn't be wrong, of course, but the use of that type of archaic terminology ON THE RECORD would really say something about what a person like this really thinks (and probably says) in private.
Same thing here.
Gay groups were rightfully outraged by this choice of terminology, which is pretty much ONLY used nowadays by fundamentalist religious folk who are opposed to GLBT rights.
Having said that, Jarrett approriately apologized and clarified her remarks and further clarified that she does not believe that being gay or lesbian is a choice (although being OUT about it IS a choice).
I personally accept her apology, and I have no beef with Jarrett.
On the other hand, Self-loathing/closeted gay or bisexuals mistake their 'Choice' to deny who they are to be a 'Choice' not to be gay. These people will still believe that self-accepting gays and lesbians have a 'Choice', because they believe they made one. They believe this even when presented by case after case of gay people killing themselves rather than simply make the 'Choice' to be str8. (yeah, that really makes sense...)
So come on OUT OF THE CLOSET man, it is soooooo much better out here, believe me, I know. And it gets so much better now matter how late in life you do it...
Nothing has to be "proved" or defined and certified scientifically, or otherwise, about sexuality or race or religion, to legitimize a discussion about the human values and national policies for groups of people.
The black and gay civil rights movements are so very different is many ways, and share one common characteristic. They are about human values.
Ms. Jarrett's apology is appropriate and accepted.
Our President has not grasp the significance of calling marriage for gays a "civil union." And his apology will be as readily accepted when he does.
No one has to apologize for being a member of the human race. And we all have regrets about getting to that recognition for others, and even ourselves.
LIFESTYLE CHOICE #1a: Live a horrible, self loathing life lying to everyone and themselves while extending their own self hatred externally to attack those who have the gall to live openly when they can't.
LIFESTYLE CHOICE #1b: Grab a gun and go to their parents basement and blow their brains out, climb into a car in the garage and start the engine (was my choice actually), lay down on train tracks, jump from a bridge, etc.
LIFESTYLE CHOICE #2: Accept who they are and try to live fulfilling lives (actually my backup choice after 1b didn't work out)
99.9999999% of gay people who are self accepting and not playing self-mind games (see LS Choice #1a) will tell you that there is no choice. I'm sorry, I stopped even reading your piece at "some men and women chose same sexual preference".
I don't know you personally so I can't say you are ignorant, but this article really "gets my knickers in a bind" (no idea what knickers are, but my grandmother used to say that and it seems to fit here)
Had a teenager, or as the case in this matter, a group of teens, been straight, Ms. Jarrett would have never uttered the word 'choice(s)'. Heterosexuals teens are extpected to transition into a world of hetero life. No 'choice' is necessary. The same should apply to gay teens. They shouldn't have to 'pass.' The only 'choice' they make is to be open about their reality or live a secret life.
Ms. Jarrett used a poor---foolish---word. She should know better. And her apology was not only proper but it was right.
I am also sick of hearing the idea that is a choice put out there. I did not choose. tried to change. I prayed to change and nothing happened. Don't tell me it is a choice. Did anyone choose the color of their skin.
I personally do not believe that sexual orientation is a "preference or choice", I believe that people are born into their orientation, but alas, I am in the minority on this issue. However you are being unreasonable in expecting acceptance from an entire racial subset when the larger group of Americans (of all races) hold the notion that homosexuality is a choice. If you don't believe me, check out some of the NY blogs and newspaper comment sections for the number of people willing to overlook Palladino's other failings just to support his position on homosexuality.
The real issue here is the idea that blacks, due to their record as victims of discrimination, can't be held accountable for doing the same thing.
You really need to watch Avenue Q. Everyone has personal biases, including YOU.
At least Valerie Jarrett apologized. You and Earl are making excuses.
All blacks are not homophobic, and all gays are not racist. I reject all bigotry. I appreciate Ms.Jarrett's clarification. Also I read that Val Jarrett is black. I didn't realize she was, I would have guessed white latino mix, but frankly I DO NOT CARE. It's not relevant. I know it is difficult when someone attacks "one's own kind" but that doesn't make the criticism less valid.