from kgoam810.com*
Gossip doyenne Liz Smith has two versions of her syndicated column in Variety and the New York Post, and today — the only day on which we are qualified to compare them, we confess — her Variety version takes it solidly, for boldfaced names, actual information, and the unwritten items you are just able to glean between the lines. Yes, the chatty Ms. Smith is very nice — too nice, some might say — but still, it was a fun, chatty column and we surprised ourselves for reading it all the way through (it's a pretty slow news day). Okay the news wasn't news — David Milch is making a "surf noir" drama for HBO; Sacha Baron Cohen is rapping his solo as Pirelli in the film version of Sweeney Todd (which will make it sound a little different, since it's traditionally warbled opera-style — compare here and in the 2005 version here, where the role of Pirelli was sung by a woman).** Still, it was news-y, and actually very. Just because Variety doesn't boldface (ankled that ages ago) doesn't mean that it doesn't have tons of bolfacers. *** Variety wins that face-off with the NYP hands-down (though it has more space, it's true).
Smith remains a little out of touch — look no further for proof than her description of Donny Deutsch as "the hunky living proof that light-blue denim still looks good" — or is she? Perhaps the bite is in what she doesn't say, like, for example, that Rachael Ray didn't shut the hell up backstage with theater grande dames Christine Ebersole, Tyne Daly and Bette Midler. Read between the lines:
"Which one of us is not like the others?" [Ray] joked self-deprecatingly. Rachael also confessed to "Grey Gardens" composer Scott Frankel that she has seen the original documentary on which the musical is based, over 100 times. (Yikes, well, there's more than a touch of camp in the wholesome Miss Ray.) And the TV cooking queen also enthused over Midler being the inspiration for her to become involved with the "Green" movement, and praised Bette's New York Restoration Project. "One day you can take it over, honey," said Midler wryly.
We're pretty sure that Ray was about one more breathless sentence away from the back of Midler's hand. We wish we could have read between these lines, however: Describing actor Farley Granger, now 81, as "the most beautiful man ever to make a film," Smith notes that in his new book he readily admits that "I have loved men and I have loved women." Says Smith: "And, wow, the names of the women will stagger you." Er, where are the names? Wikipedia has one: Patricia Neal (and two men: Leonard Bernstein and Arthur Laurents). No witholding, Liz. Not nice.
Both of the versions mention that Marty Scorsese is teaming up with Fergie — the princess, not the Pea — on yet another movie about English royalty, this time about Queen Victoria's early life (starring what we'd both call "this column's favorite" Emily Blunt, girlfriend of Canadian crooner Michael Bublé). And now you know why we ran this post: As an excuse to use that "Princess and the Pea" line. Because let's face it, Liz Smith isn't all that newsy. But, she's fun to read. Anyhow, bottom line: We like Variety's version better.
HBO Riding Star-Studded Wave [NYP]
Milch Surfs Back To HBO [Variety]
*with snap-happy San Fran radio talk show host, Ronn Owens. Our new favorite photo archive.
**Okay, we maybe wanted an excuse to link to Sweeney Todd.
***We're not sure about that, but just wanted to say "ankled."
