Eat The Press


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    Congratulations, reporters! According to the Army's new Operational Security Guidelines, you have all been categorized as a danger to America! "Under 'traditional domestic threats' we find hackers and militia groups, while 'non-traditional' threats include drug cartels, and -- yes -- the media. Just to put that into some perspective, the foreign 'non-traditional threats' are listed as warlords, and Al Qaeda. In other words, the Army has figuratively and literally put the media in the same box as Al Qaeda, warlords, and drug cartels." Figuratively and literally! Y'all are even dangerous as metaphors!

  • As we learned yesterday, the Bancroft family is sore afraid of Rupert Murdoch, but they totally heart Warren Buffett and have soft-focus dreams of the investor-king swooping in on mounted steed to rescue the Dow Jones from Aussie privateers! But before you put heaving chests and Buffet's ripped-open shirt on that Harlequin cover: "Buffett would sooner jump off the Empire State Building than jump into the bidding for Dow Jones." Ouch!
  • Kenneth Eng, author of unhinged racist screeds wants credit for the Virginia Tech killings. "A part of me wishes I was Cho. He is my hero." Why did the Village Voice find it necessary to run this story? Are they in that much need to feel good about themselves comparatively?
  • Are you catching Alt-Weekly Award fever? Of the 95 entrants, 60 will win some kind of award, so, it's a lot like the NBA in that just about everyone makes the playoffs. It's just the losers don't get to draft Greg Oden. Still, we salute all those publications that help us stay informed about where Architecture in Helsinki is playing that night.
  • Curb your speculation on Campbell Brown jumping to CNN for the time being. Rumor has it she's just feeding the buzz to get a better deal--like she's Katherine Heigl or something!
  • In tonight's Republican candidate debate, "Politico Visitors Will Vote On 1/3 Of Tonight's Questions." The other two-thirds of the questions will be Mike Allen, asking each candidate again and again, "What do you I pretty? I like to think so."
  • Is President Bush really going to veto that hate crimes bill? Maybe he'd better wait and hear what Isaiah Washington has to say about it!

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