Photo by John Neffinger
Last night ETP squeezed into the Maxim Hot 100 party at the Hotel Gansevoort, along with what seemed like thousands of our closest friends. Man, that party was packed! We despaired of actually getting in when we arrived, since there was a crowd thronging against steel barricades and a giant tented red carpet area which was also barricaded off and burly security guards with earpieces in black suits and silky ties and people with clipboards saying things like, "I'm sorry, I can't let any more people in right now, please stand back" — but then they realized WHO WE WERE and we sailed past the hoi polloi and into the party, where we shortly ran into other people who we'd met waiting in line. Except when you're both on the inside, you're cool.
Why? Because you're partying with the likes of Avril Lavigne, Rebecca Romijn, Jerry O'Connell, Laura Prepon, Kate Walsh, Haylie Duff, Sophia Bush, David Boreanaz, Kim Kardashian, and Keenan Thompson, according to the tip sheet — not to mention number-one hot-tay Lindsay Lohan! Who honored the occassion by wearing not 
one but two dresses (we don't know why, but we do know that we like the second one much better). Okay, "with" might be a stretch — we know most of them were there thanks to WireImage — but that could be because we got there late or it could be because they were all scooted into the sprawling deck/cabana outdoor part, which we didn't discover until late in the evening, having followed a waiter with a platter of chicken skewers out there. To their credit, the Maxim PR people showed restraint on the tip sheet and did not over-promise — allowing them to over deliver with more people than were on the list, like Arrested Development's coolest Canadian Will Arnett, (sans Amy Poehler) who we observed a-chattin' with 30 Rock's Lonny Ross and Katrina Bowden (how was she not on this list? She's exquisite), plus Ice-T, Hilary Duff and — wait for it — Brian Austin-Green. We liked him way better for Donna than that creepy Ray. He was with Megan Fox, which we know from WireImage, but which we had no real idea about until today; last night, to our eyes, she was Girl In Cool Orange Dress With Big Tattoo On Upper Back. Or, according to Maxim, the 18th Hottest Hottie of 2007 and, once again according to the tip sheet, our evening's hostess!. It was sort of a mixed bag of celebs, and the celeb-to-non-celeb ratio was very low, and the recognizable-celeb-to-non-celeb ratio was even lower, but still: Plentiful apps, many bars (thanks, Cuervo!), sprawling layout, and good-lookin' crowd. And short skirts. And cleavage. And a shooter bar. And screens all over the place with "Maxim Hot 100" on black with undulating, licking flames behind it. Something for everyone!
Nubile numbered starlets and hot-rod logos notwithstanding, ETP knows it takes more than just the famous and semi-famous to make a party a success, so allow us for a moment to dwell on the appetizers, which deserve mention because they were faithfully passed right up to the end of the evening: mini-hamburgers, shrimp skewers, chicken skewers, fat potato wedges with ketchup and may-type dipping sauces (okay maybe not supa-classy but definitely welcome at 1 am); beef-carpaccio-type thingies, crab cakes, plus desserty treats like coconut cream tarts and delicious little lemon tartlets. We may not know who Megan Fox is, but we know tasty apps when we double-fist them and stuff some in our purse for later. Just sayin'.
O-kay! So, here are some of the observations from circling the par-tay:
else when you look at her. Here, check this out and then tell us we're wrong. Ice (or, er, T?) seemed pretty smitten, pulling out his camera to take pics of her as she posed coyly on the couch (here is ETP's blurry rendering of them being photographed by one of his entourage. Meta!).
