Does A Recession Make Us Less Compassionate?

When we have money we tend to build a bigger house and then we have to put a fence around it to keep people out, and then we have to become wary of anyone who wants to be our friend. The minute we have something we become very guarded and protective, and reluctant to share.

Does success make us any more likely to care? Does buying more make us happier or more generous? Or does it just make us want more? As Ed Begley Jr. says in our new book, Be the Change: How Meditation Can Transform You and the World (published Nov 3, 2009): "If stuff made us happy there would be nothing but happy people living in Bell Air and unhappy people living in Fiji where they have nothing, but I have been to Fiji and there are plenty of happy people there. I have never seen a hearse with a luggage rack on top!"

We were having tea with our good friend Marc Barasch. He is the author of many books, but his latest, The Compassionate Life, got us questioning what influence a recession has on our natural ability to be compassionate and caring about others. Does a failing economy make us less compassionate? Or can it actually make us more generous, kind and caring?

In response to our questioning, Marc asked, "Perhaps the first question we have to ask is, are people really compassionate in a so-called successful economy? Does affluence make us any kinder or more caring?"

We tend to think that rich people have a cushier life, but Jungian psychologist Bernice Hill has identified four wounds of wealth, or four challenges that come from having a lot of money. They are:

1. Burdens of Expectation. People with money are the often subject of envy and jealousy. They are also expected to support charities and donate frequently. Which can result in them asking if it is them or their money that is wanted?

2. Isolation. For fear of being taken advantage of, the wealthy may question what their friendships are based on. This can lead to a real sense of isolation and lack of trust, and the tendency to only socialize with others who also have money.

3. Unhealthy Family Dynamics. Money easily destroys relationships and families, as family members fight for the lion's share.

4. Crisis of Identity. Wealthy people often have difficulties with issues of self-worth, guilt, and meaninglessness.

These four wounds show us how complicated and limiting wealth can be. Compassion tends to arise from a sense of vulnerability, but success often comes with a sense of invulnerability. There is the belief that, if we are well-off materially, then God must be favoring us, we must be virtuous and moral; whereas if we are poor, then God has abandoned us, we must have done something wrong, we are obviously immoral and flawed.

Yet when we have nothing to lose we are not guarded or fearful of being taken advantage of, or being ripped off. When we have traveled in India, Deb has always been impressed that even the poorest of the poor have fresh flowers in their hair, they are welcoming and sharing of what they have, guests get the best dishes and food, even the best bed. This is far more hospitable than our wealthy friends who, for instance, when asked if we could stay, say they have a dinner party coming up and so it would be too inconvenient.

Compassion also arises out of a sense of vulnerability and shared humanity--the realization that we are all connected to everyone and everything at all times, that we are not isolated or separate. What happens to one happens to all. We can take off our armor and allow ourselves to be touched and to feel the undefended heart. There are no barriers between us.

If we relate to the recession with fear, then it will close us down further. If we relate to difficulties with an open heart, then we will enter into a culture of greater sharing and compassion. Our economy is built on greed and a fear of scarcity. But we can transcend this by reaching out to each other in acts of fearless kindness and caring.

Do you have any stories to share about compassion in difficult times? Do leave us a comment below. You can receive notice of our blogs every Thursday by checking Become a Fan at the top.

Ed and Deb Shapiro's new book, BE THE CHANGE, How Meditation Can Transform You And The World, Forewords by the Dalai Lama and Robert Thurman, with contributors such as Marianne Williamson, astronaut Edgar Mitchell, Michael Beckwith, Jon Kabat-Zinn, Jane Fonda, Jack Kornfield, Byron Katie, Ed Begley, Ellen Burstyn, Dean Ornish, Russell Bishop, Gangaji and others, will be published November 3rd 2009 by Sterling Ethos.

Deb is the author of the award-winning book, YOUR BODY SPEAKS YOUR MIND. Ed and Deb are the authors of over 15 books, and lead meditation retreats and workshops. They are corporate consultants, and the creators of Chillout daily inspirational text messages on Sprint cell phones. See: www.EdandDebShapiro.com

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Comments

[葉王 麻倉]

I dont believe recession makes people less compassionate. Compassion is a state of mind and if external variables can alter it, it just dosent make sense.

Also, compassion should not be defined by how much money one donates to help others, it should be defined by how much one is willing to help another.

[MerhabaAbi]

Welcome Back Ed and Deb,

I think it comes down to: Do you own your stuff or does it own you? I seem to go back and forth between juggleing dollars and figuring out who won't get paid this month and getting a little ahead. Either way, if a friend needs something and I can help, that's a given. The beautiful part is I've got some great giving friends who will be there for me as well. In this country, you can be considered poverty striken and still have a car, shelter, utilities, cable TV and a cell phone. Want is a relative concept, real needs are available for most of us. I know that some have legitamate needs that're not being met, but the rest of us have what we truly need and can help if we bother.

Peace,
Little Brother

[Anne Naylor - Huffpost Blogger]

Hello and Welcome Back from my homeland!! Delighted that you got to the House of Lords and managed to partake of tea - I hope the scones, cream and jam were up to standard!

Excellent post - thank you!. A chanter who came last week spends 6 months a year with the brahmacharyas on Mount Abu in Rajasthan I think he said. He talked about the Indian culture as being one in which people are accepted as they are from being tiny children. They grow up surrounded by love and feeling secure in themselves. It said a lot to me about why I felt so comfortable in the Indian culture. Acceptance.

My sense is the ego gets bent of of shape when it struggles on our behalf to feel loved and be noticed.

I am fascinated by the dynamics of wealth and how money can serve or destroy. Money it seems to me is almost more about emotion than "facts and figures". It is one of my great learning curves, still.

I wonder if emotional maturity could lead to greater peace of mind, generosity, thankfulness and a more compassionate world. Then what would it take for us to become more emotionally mature.

More questions than answers here!

Best love,
Anne

[Ed and Deb Shapiro - Huffpost Blogger]

Hi Anne- i will reply to your comment shortly but I thought it would be fun to answer the first part

House of Lords was absolutely amazing. The Queens throne is dazzling. we met otjer Lords like David Puttnam (Killing Fields and Chariot of Fire) and we were invited to the chambers during the important debate about the MP's and their money cheating. For an american from the Bronx it was quite a trip.

but to answer your question -you " managed to partake of tea - I hope the scones, cream and jam were up to standard!?"

It was the worst tea ever- I had an eclair that was awful--- to be in such a magnificent tea room and crampy cakes ---Deb had a crumpet not good as well.

I will answer the second half of your comment after- I just thought it amusing you would ask about the tea

Big Love,

Ed

[Ed and Deb Shapiro - Huffpost Blogger]

I think meditation is the best way to develop the whole of our being as it gives us the awarenss to see ourselves both subjectively and objectively.

[Lizzypie]

Nice to have you back here on this side of the pond!
Good blog. The 4 Wounds of wealth reminded me of an expression I once heard: AFFLUENZA!!
Welcome home

[Ed and Deb Shapiro - Huffpost Blogger]

Hi Lizzypie- Great to hear from you

I like your AFFLUENZA comment it does say a lot about a very important subject. One thing that strikes me is how being rich can often make you more paranoid.

We are happy to be back in the US-

we certainly experienced AFLUENZA when we were guests at the HOUSE OF LORDS

Big hugs,

Ed

[Thisok]

Dear Ed & Deb,
a very good post for these times. Thank you.

It seems to be a very personal affair as to how folks respond to trying times. Some more fortunate are more open and supportive of others, whereas many others are more inclined to shrink away, to protect what they have. Those that are more helpful during good times seem to be the same ones that are more helpful during bad times. and the same for those who tend to penny pinch what they have no matter the economic conditions. Those that help more seem to understand that "the more we give the more we receive." And they will enjoy life more regardless. They will be healthier, happier and more fun to be around.

Namaste

[RoadCrossingChicken]

Thisok-
I love your posts! They are always filled with such peace and just make me smile!

I especially liked your post regarding Ed's and Deb's blog "Michelle's Way: Lessons In Buddhism From The First Lady". I have found after reading their blog and taking their advice on reading that I am encouraged to be a better Christian. I am by no means perfect, but it helps to put goodness into my mind when I can.

[Ed and Deb Shapiro - Huffpost Blogger]

we are all good Christians at heart- when deb and I were in India we met a Christian couple who were there with their 4 children - they came to help the poorest of the poor. It was heartwarming to be with them.

Joyfully,

Ed

[Ed and Deb Shapiro - Huffpost Blogger]

Thisok- It's always special to hear from you-

I agree with RoadCrossingChicken (one of my favorite names) that your comments are superb

You said it all

'Those that are more helpful during good times seem to be the same ones that are more helpful during bad times. and the same for those who tend to penny pinch what they have no matter the economic conditions. Those that help more seem to understand that "the more we give the more we receive." And they will enjoy life more regardless. They will be healthier, happier and more fun to be around."

Big Love,

Ed

[Jonahson]

Hi Ed and Dep blessings to your mother. I would like to share a story with both of you and your readers.
When my son was 5 years old, one afternon after a heavy downpour we went out into the countryside to take a walk. It had been raining heavily for the last three days and the river was swollen. In some places along the bank the river had overflowed we cold see tiny ants lumping together and clinging desperately for life their home submerged. "Let's save the ants". I told my son and both of us found sticks to lift countless ants from the flowing water to safety. We could see the ants scurrying for high ground once out of the water and felt relief for them. Both of us really had a good time.
You see in bad time like now, many of us are caught financially we may not be able to be as generous before but compassion is about saving others sometime money cannot do. Plse take some time to read an article The Bodhisattva Fish from the Buddhist Channel. You have to be patient searching for it though.
http://www.buddhistchannel.tv/index.php?id=6

[Ed and Deb Shapiro - Huffpost Blogger]

hey Jonahson great to hear from you- and LOVED LOVEd your story

I looked at the Bodhisattva Fish and will reply next
Ed

http://www.buddhistchannel.tv/index.php?id=6

[Ed and Deb Shapiro - Huffpost Blogger]

fantastic site -- I bookmarked the

Buddhisr Channel

Thanks

Patience is a virtue

Gygme Powa

[RoadCrossingChicken]

Oh, no! Your trip to England has made ME envious! My daughter-in-law is from there and my two grandsons are there for a two week visit with their English grandparents while my son and his wife are in Kenya.
We spent ten days in the UK when our son got married and it was so beautiful! The people were as nice as can be and those lovely, peaceful, green rolling landscapes!

I love your post this week. My husband and I have adapted very well to a "less is more" lifestyle in the last year. We got the idea from an on-line friend's website called "Living Little and Loving It".

Here is a link...

http://www.living-little.com/

Use it up, wear it out, or give it away!!!!!!!!

[Ed and Deb Shapiro - Huffpost Blogger]

RCC- ALWAYS great to hear from you-

England was brilliant. Deb's mum, Deb and i were invited to the 'House Of Lords' and being from the Bronx I realized I came a long way.

I loved the link http://www.living-little.com/

I love Schaumacher's SMALL IS WONDERFUL

Life is a gift- treasure it! Be good Do good

Ed

[Kari Henley - Huffpost Blogger]

HI guys!
I really liked this post a lot!
I believe if we are only successful, we never have perspecive, and that is exactly what the US has needed for quite some time.

I also see with so many children, they are so protected and loved, all of their needs and wants are met, then we wonder why they are not compassionate to others.

I think of the incredible acts of bravery that happen with natural disasters like Katrina or horrors like 911 that put success aside and just bring people together, the uncertainty brings out a natural state of caring for one another.
I believe much of your work is to bring this reminder into our every day lives- and allow success and compassion to flourish together!
Take care
Kari

[Ed and Deb Shapiro - Huffpost Blogger]

Hi Kari dear- So good to hear from you-

The difficult with success is that it tends to lead to more greed and then we forget about other people.

Joyfully,

Deb

[Dr. Judith Rich - Huffpost Blogger]

Dear Deb and Ed,

Welcome back! I've missed your great big hearts in these parts.

I actually think the recession is making people more compassionate. The playing field has been leveled, not entirely for sure, but many people are closer to the edge than ever before and can feel what it's like to go without, to cut corners, make do with less.

We'd all do well to expand our hearts to include those less fortunate than ourselves. I had a similar experience in India, being invited into the home of a pedicab driver. He had 11 children, the house had dirt floors and they cooked over an outdoor oven using water buffalo dung patties. It was this way everywhere, Yet the people were serene and joyful. It was a stellar experience in my life.

Thanks for this stellar article!
Much love,
Judith

[Ed and Deb Shapiro - Huffpost Blogger]

Hi sweet Judith- Glad to be home and in communicado

I agree when people are in difficulty it can bring out a sense of community. Be kinder and caring is so helpful

It is so true of India. I have been there many times and people are always smiling even in the most dire circumstances.

Let's keep the love flowing,

Ed

[Ken Green]

welcome home kids,
thanks for the latest blog..

perhaps the best antidote to the seeming issues that come up with money and spirituality can be resolved if we lived our lives as penniless millionaires.

[Ed and Deb Shapiro - Huffpost Blogger]

Ken Green- what happened to the * 108 * ?

I guess in Buddhism that refers to poverty mind- I have a friend who is filthy rich but acts like she has nothing. You may know her?

When we can care for others we are truly rich.

Life is a gas,

Ed

[Ed and Deb Shapiro - Huffpost Blogger]

love your photo- oh you were in the UK as well- we must have missed each other by a short time.

May your brilliance serve many

A friendly admirer

Ed

[yoyo22]

Hi Deb and Ed, Glad your trip to Jolly olde England was success. I think in answer to you question people are scared and and have tunnel vision most can only see what is happening to them and feel that they are the only ones that the recession is affecting. As the saying goes Money is the route of all evil, Yvonne

[Ed and Deb Shapiro - Huffpost Blogger]

Hi yoyo22 great to have your comment (always is)

Yes people are fearful in times of trouble- it frightens the foundation of their lives- I believe that is a reason OmBama won- their fear of survival in an economy as shakey as it is was more important than the color of skin.

His opposition appeared to uninformed and so OB looked the best

Enjoy the journey,

Ed

[Eli Davidson - Huffpost Blogger]

Dearest Ed and Deb.
I believe that any situation can lead us to compassion. The choice is an inner one. Not all wealthy people exhibit the 'wounds of wealth.' I have spent a good bit of time with a billionarie who was a humble, open, gregarious man with a tight knit family. I have also spent time with plenty of folks who didn't have a great deal of money that personify those traits.

Each of us human beings is wealthy- just by the mere fact that we are alive. I believe that it is important to recalaim our 'inner wealth' and create prosperity from a more spiritual and sustainable foundation.

Love,
Eli

[Ed and Deb Shapiro - Huffpost Blogger]

Gorgeous wise Eli- It is so good to be able to communicate with you and everyone. England was great especially Deb's mum.

The 3 of us were invited to the House Of Lords by a wonderful Lord A.S. who was alive and a great man. I had never seen so much opulence -- the queens throne was beyond words wow-- Gold and the lot-
Yes a persons wealth is an inside job. The inner beauty is beyond the mind- it is the jewel in the heart of the lotus.

Hugs,

Ed

[AndiG]

I have often wondered way down deep inside myself why people have the values that seem to dominate and guide their lives. Why is one person filled with true compassion and another, not? I don't presume to know the answer because we humans are quite the complex beings!
I don't believe, however, that a recession makes us either more or less compassionate.
I do believe that being compassionate is not only a quality that some may have naturally within their true natures, but also that it is something that we learn through our life experiences... what we see modeled to us in our families and our "worlds" growing up.
It would be wonderful if we all could "practice random acts of kindness"...what a beautiful world it be...recession or no recission!!!
Thanks for a great blog, Ed & Deb!!!

[Ed and Deb Shapiro - Huffpost Blogger]

Hi AndiG- - G for good heart-

Yes as the Dalai Lama says if we all could be a bit more kinder.

Compassion is a great gift to yourself and to others.

Big Love,

Ed

[soundheals]

Regardless of the economy, the greatest gift that one can receive and give is that of love. And of course, true and real love is not something that can be bought or sold. Sadly, most of our planet has bought into the "more is better" consciousn­ess--espec­ially concerning material goods. Because of this many have forgotten the importance of love and compassion. I trust that as our consciousness evolves, more and more people will become aware of the joy that compassion can bring to all.

Your words of wisdom and compassion are always such a welcome blessing!

[Ed and Deb Shapiro - Huffpost Blogger]

soundheals- you always make me feel great-

your pure heart and sound vibrates throughout the world- I remember being in England and in a music shop and the lady said, "I just received Jonathan Goldman's (Soundhels) new CD it is brilliant. I was happy to say I agree.

It is people like you that help make a better world.

With Love,

Ed

PS- I am happy to call you a dear friend.

[Janice Taylor - Huffpost Blogger]

I love what Ed Begley Jr. says, in your new book, Be the Change: How Meditation Can Transform You and the World (published Nov 3, 2009):

"If stuff made us happy there would be nothing but happy people living in Bell Air and unhappy people living in Fiji where they have nothing, but I have been to Fiji and there are plenty of happy people there. I have never seen a hearse with a luggage rack on top!"

Aint' that the truth!!! As for personal experiences - recession or no-recession - the people in my life are 'in character.' True colors showing all the time!!! :)

Love you, and welcome back from your trip to England (where I understand you ate a bit too much!)
Janice

[Ed and Deb Shapiro - Huffpost Blogger]

Sweet Janice- one of my favorite and - the coolest of bloggers- yup- your message is importante...

Glad you noticed what Ed Begley said - he is a great man

no didn't to much was taken out to too many dinners and didn't want to be rude.

We were taken to the 'House of Lords' for tea- you can't just have tea.....

Jolly day,

ed