If we want to be happy then why do we suffer? In one of our workshops we asked the participants to raise their hands if they wanted to suffer. No one did. So why do we?
We are all the same in wanting to be happy and not wanting to suffer, there is no difference between us, so we can help each other. When we can live from this deeper level of awareness, it helps us go beyond attachment to immediate forms of happiness and to finding a more universal happiness. (His Holiness the Karmapa, from our book, "Be The Change")
Despite such a longing for happiness, we easily start worrying about not having enough and stop appreciating what we have. In other words, we put happiness on hold. We make happiness something we will come to some time in the future: when things are better, when our children get married, when the weather changes, when we have more money -- then we will be happy. So much time is wasted waiting to be happy, when all we need to do is experience the magnificence and beauty of what we already have, both within and all around us. Or, as Maha Baba, one of India's greatest yogis, said "Don't worry, be happy!"
It is our ego-based selfishness and desire for things to be different from how they are that is a major cause of our unhappiness. By this, we mean the dissatisfaction with what is and the belief that says if we are not happy or at peace, then there is something wrong with our world, so if we can just change other people or our life's circumstances and get them to be a certain way -- then we will be happy.
If we look at our desire for things to be different, no matter how subtle it may be, we find resistance, discomfort, aversion, even conflict. The myth that the grass is greener elsewhere is one we live by for vast amounts of our waking time -- the underlying searching, yearning, craving and longing for a life, partner and job other than the one we have.
We can make it a saner and happier world if we just slowed down and had less focus on wanting or needing more stuff. If stuff made you happy, there would be nothing but happy people living in Bel Air and unhappy people living in Fiji where they have nothing, but I have been to Fiji and there are plenty of happy people there. I have never seen a hearse with a luggage rack on top. We have got to get away from stuff and appreciate what is here. (Ed Begley, Jr., "Be The Change")Many of us believe that we cannot be peaceful or happy while others are suffering, or we feel guilty if we experience abundance while others are going without. We were teaching a workshop in England when Marie told us, "I cannot be peaceful until my children are peaceful; I cannot be happy unless they are happy." But suffering ourselves because others are suffering does not help those who are already in pain; if we cannot help ourselves, then we will be unable to help anyone.
When we find our own peace, then there is one less person suffering. If we look for happiness outside of ourselves, or look for it some time in the future when things have changed, then we will never find it, for ultimately it is not dependent on anything or anyone. Rather, happiness is within each one of us; it is always within us. It can never be found because it was never lost.
There is an innate and tender place inside each one of us that is loving and happy. Without this, kindness would not be possible, compassion would not be possible. When we come from that tender place, our normal self-centeredness dissolves into other-centeredness.
What does happiness mean to you? Do comment below.
You can receive notice of our blogs every Tuesday by checking "Become a Fan" at the top of this page.
See our award-winning book, "Be the Change: How Meditation Can Transform You and the World," with forewords by the Dalai Lama and Robert Thurman and contributions from Jack Kornfield, Gangaji, Jane Fonda, Ram Dass, Byron Katie and others.
Our three meditation CDs -- "Metta: Loving-Kindness and Forgiveness," "Samadhi: Breath Awareness and Insight" and "Yoga Nidra: Inner Conscious Relaxation" -- are available at www.EdandDebShapiro.com.
Follow Ed and Deb Shapiro on Twitter: www.twitter.com/edanddebshapiro
Wray Herbert: Buying Time: The Pursuit of Happiness
How to Be Happy in Life | eHow.com
If you want to live a happy life - ThinkExist.com Quotations
whitadvisor.blogspot.com
http://www.backyardmystic.com/2011/01/the-happiness-doctor/
http://wwwÂ.backyardmÂystic.com/Â2011/01/thÂe-happinesÂs-doctor/
we have just returned after being away this week
looking forward to replying to comments
Cheers, Ed
let the warmth glow of compassion shine forth from your heart.
May both of you be blessed with the perfection of Viriya the tireless energy to do good.
Wishing you peace and wellness always.
me included!
Om mane padme hum
many tashi delegs
Mark Twain
'out of their minds & into their hearts!'
Ommmmmmmm
Peace!
no need to say or do
true happiness is your nature - the core of your being
it is not of the mind - it is in your heart! let it unfold naturally
My cousin Frank said something like that too, but, I think Mr. Begley may have said it first... but regardless of who says something true, the source should not diminish its importance.
Lawson Meadows
What is the saying about a man is about as happy as he decides to be? Or woman, come to that.
Happiness means for me making the choice. Smiling, when I have nothing to smile about - the relaxation a smile brings awakens me to more of my joy. Walking in the fresh air and noticing small miracles of perfect timing in the world around me. Being thankful for the grace I enjoy. Taking time and space to flow with what is present for me. Taking one day at a time. Hanging out with friends I love.
ETC!!
Many blessings and love to ya,
Anne
:-))
Anne dear you radiate happiness & luv
"I am aware of when I'm living because i'm engaged with what is, despite adversity."
Booyah, indeed! I believe you know more about happy than you imagine, and you are right; sitting on a stump is not near as much fun as pursuing your passion... or taking long walks in the desert! :)
Lawson
but our monkey mind keeps us distracted - - when we are quiet - the mind still we can know unconditionally - that happiness is truly our birthright
this is ancient wisdom
the rest is monkey mind!
:-))
Three days ago, In her Huffpost article, Julia Moulden asked what personal quality we liked best and would not change.
After some thought, considering many of the character and performance options people normally address in response to this type of question, I rejected them in favor of my best state, the constant in my life, and the point of view I start with, which supports my belief in optimism and living well now even when faced with difficulties and detours: I simply said, "I AM HAPPY!"
So, my only response, albeit simplistic, to your question is that happiness means I am happy. It is a cycle, born in the belief that approach dictates attitude, which supports habits that build on skills: I am happy, I work at it, I get better at it, so I am right back to happy.
I am certainly no grinning, clownish caricature, there are many serious, and a few sad or angry times, but the base from which those exceptions stray, and to which they always return, is that of being happy.
It makes the trip so much better!
Lawson Meadows
You are a very special man indeed, know that! And so eloquent.
Take care
Catherine
in 12 step programs across the globe, they use this tool called the serenity prayer. I am not religious in any sense, but appreciate the value of this prayer. the problem we face as a society in terms of the balance between doing something about suffering and our happiness is that we tend to conflate happiness to success on a goal or issue rather than an appreciation of ourselves and those around us simply for trying our best to do something we care about.
happiness cannot be achieved if it is the goal. rather, it is a bi-product that appears of acting like caring human beings upon the issues we each are passionate about measuring the value of the action on its face and not necessarily dependant upon its results.
it would be like a dog running in circles after it's tail
when the mind is quiet and the heart is open happiness is revealed!
this is ancient wisdom
and my eperience :-))