We all need to eat, but what we eat and how much we eat varies enormously. Few of us only eat when we are hungry, and only what we need rather than what we want. We binge, diet, pig out, indulge, fast; we eat junk food, healthy food, only fruit, high-protein, low-fat, raw food, vegetarian, vegan, macrobiotic. We use food as a substitute for love, as a way to win love, to fulfill desire, as a means of punishment through deprivation, or as a reward. In every women's magazine, there are articles on the ultimate diet, recipes for a lover's meal, how to feed hungry teenagers, the contents of a celebrity's refrigerator, or what foods will cure arthritis. In other words, food is an issue.
Perhaps this is not surprising. From the very beginning we are focused on food, crying when our stomachs are empty and being rewarded with warm milk, which is accompanied by either a breast or a bottle and, usually, the familiar, soothing voice of mother. Our needs are extremely basic -- we want milk, dry clothes, a warm place to sleep, lots of love, and a few friendly faces to look at. At this early stage there is little separation between food, mother and love -- they all tend to come at the same time and they all do much the same thing, which is make us feel good.
As we grow older these needs do not change much, they just get bigger. But over time mother, food and love begin to separate: Food does not always come from mother, mother does not always love, and food is used in place of love. So food remains an issue: Mother cooks it and makes us feel guilty if we do not like it, we get sent to bed without food if we misbehave, or parents are absent and we are placated with food treats. Even worse is when we are in need of being held or loved and we get candy instead, simply reinforcing the belief that food and love are not only connected but also interchangeable.
For instance, Deb remembers: "I was at boarding school from the age of eight. All of us would look forward each week to getting parcels sent from home: boxes of chocolate and candy. Such packages proved our parents loved us."
We use food in much the same way later in life by giving a box of chocolates as a sign of affection, such as on Valentine's Day, or to assuage our guilt for not having visited an elderly relative sooner. Sweet food is a universal replacement for love, but where love is nurturing and makes us feel good, sweet food rots our teeth, makes us fat, and lowers our immunity.
Our eating habits and relationship to food are indicative of our relationship to ourselves and to what extent our needs for nourishment are being met, as explained in Deb's award-winning book, Your Body Speaks Your Mind. Do you obtain nourishment through food or through love? If you feel emotionally uncared for or rejected, do you turn to food for comfort? And to what extent does your digestive system reflect this relationship?
Food Review
The easiest way to become aware of your relationship to food is to keep a diary of how you are feeling as well as what and when you are eating.
Is food your friend? Do comment below. You can receive notice of our blogs every Thursday by checking Become a Fan at the top.
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See our award-winning book: BE THE CHANGE, How Meditation Can Transform You and the World, forewords by the Dalai Lama and Robert Thurman, with contributors Jack Kornfield, Jon Kabat-Zinn, Byron Katie and many others.
Deb is the author of the award-winning YOUR BODY SPEAKS YOUR MIND, Decoding the Emotional, Psychological, and Spiritual Messages That Underlie Illness.
Our 3 meditation CDs: Metta -- Loving kindness and Forgiveness; Samadhi -- Breath Awareness and Insight; and Yoga Nidra -- Inner Conscious Relaxation, are available at: www.EdandDebShapiro.com
For more by Ed and Deb Shapiro, click here.
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namaste,
Cara
Mainly, I eat when I am hungry. Sometimes I can become so engrossed in what I am doing that I 'forget' to eat. I do drink a lot of water.
The only times I find myself eating when I am not really hungry is when I am watching television and I strongly suspect that is due to the commercials which are mainly centred around food. Fortunately I am not an avid tv watcher.
try eating an apple or drinking water !
Loving yourself is your greatest gift. May that awareness enable the true you to emerge.
I really like your username:)
I think your post was intended for Ed& Deb; however, it arrived in my email inbox so I thought I would respond.
I may not be overweight but I have had my own 'obstacles' and as Deb & Ed point out, I am learning that loving myself regardless of whether I think I am too short, too tall, too thin, too overweight etc. is paramount to 'change.'
We all have images ( imbedded beliefs, concepts) of ourselves and these can be changed.
I cannot change my 'past' but I can change my perceptions and thoughts about it by focusing on the present versus living in the past. Yes, easier said than done and demands practice.
I admire your honesty.
Pleased to be your first fan !
Much love your way ...
Thank you!
fanned & fav'd,
Ed
Should we get away from our GMO and chemically filled processed food diets and eat foods from their indigenous areas we would not only be happy but healthy and become satisfied with weather conditions without much discomfort. Two things controls our body temperature, sensors in our feet touching the temperature of the earth's surface and foods eaten fresh in temperatures the berries, fruit, grains, nuts & vegetables ripens.
Mother Earth has provided foods to protect us without the stuff man make which weakens and force us to become dependent on their things, thus, part of our sadness comes from being dependent on man rather than mother earth. Grow into realizing before man became producers of false comforts we lived peaceful and comforted lives but now we live rush, rush, rush lives to obtains man's stuff.
Not only does foods do that but they clean all the toxins out of our bodies opening our senses up to function as now lost due to the processed diet we eat.
Healthy Living viewers should read this!
Thank you for sharing!
A 90 year old monk from India once told us, by the way, he is alo a vegetarian.
yes chewing chewing food is extremely important!
& yet rarely taken in"
"Eat to live and not live to eat, eat moderately and chew your food at least 30 times before swallowing."
Fanned & Fav'd
I love what you say here:
"I've also been working on a lot of positive self-talk. I am getting better at only eating when hungry."
One of the joys of living in France is that food here is a religion and people love to eat. Food is pleasure and absorbs much time and conversation, not in an obsessively unhealthy way but as an important part of enjoying life.
Plus being on the Mediterranean, there is an abundance of local, fresh and unprocessed foods.
In the past, I have had emotional issues around food and recognize much you have written about here. Generally, I eat really well and am grateful for access to great ingredients.
Bon appetit!
Loving and joy,
Anne
This is great:
"Plus being on the Mediterranean, there is an abundance of local, fresh and unprocessed foods."