Finding Your True Self: Are You A Vampire, A Goddess, A Monster, Or A Nasty Politician?

It's Halloween and time to don your masks. What aspect of yourself will you be expressing? Do you see yourself as a gangster, an angel, a beast, or a talk-show host? How do you feel when you dress up as someone else?

One year we became two geisha girls in tight kimonos and white make up. For Ed it was a chance to experience his feminine side; for Deb it was a moment of stepping into someone else's shoes and realizing how restricted such a lifestyle can be. Another year Deb went as a lotus pond wrapped in a blue sheet with paper lotus flowers pinned all over her, bringing out her meditative serenity, while Ed went as a holy man in orange robes and a turban so as not to take the spiritual journey too seriously.

Does dressing up in a costume enable you to act out your secret fantasies? One year we were invited to Dublin to be on  Kenny Live, a popular Saturday Night TV show, and we arrived at the hotel where we were staying to find ourselves in the midst of an over-50's costume party. We were stuck in an elevator surrounded by every type of costume you can imagine, with folks aged from 50-80, so the fantasies were pretty outrageous! One woman was dressed in a tight red outfit from head to toe, topped with horns. She was a hot sexy red devil.

Does expressing different parts of yourself highlight parts of your personality that never normally see the light of day? Do you feel you are releasing some pent up hidden part of you that you need to express?

Or does it show you how you normally hide behind false images and labels, such as your race, religion, or profession? We tend to identity with the content of our lives, yet beneath all the labels is our essence, that which we truly are. Can you find who is there without the masks or the façade, without all the many images of you that think you are? We so identify with the masks we may lose sight of what lies behind them. But the labels are only a part of us, not the whole of us, and we need to honor our whole being.

Try the questions below to get reconnected with who you really are:

Time Out:  Noting and Labeling

Find a comfortable place to sit quietly. Have a pen and some paper with you. When you are ready, begin by making a list of all your big labels, the ones that are most obvious, such as race, age, mother or father, child, brother or sister, religion, job, and so on. Build a list that would tell the outside world who you are.

Then make a list of all your personal labels, the ways in which you see yourself, such as your physical health, size and looks; then your emotional and mental labels, how you see your personality, strengths and weaknesses.

Then make a list of all the masks behind which in which you hide your real self, all the masks you use to present an image of yourself or who you would like to be to the world.

Read your list through a few times and see if you can find the real you, in amongst the labels.  Can you find a you that hides behind the masks? Are there ways that this inner part of you can find expression in your life? Write down any ideas on how you could bring this more hidden part of you into your life so that you can begin to let go of the labels and the masks.

Who or what will you be this year? And do tell us your favorite Halloween story by commenting below. You can receive notice of our blogs every Tuesday by checking Become a Fan at the top.

You can pre-order a copy of our book at: BE THE CHANGE, How Meditation Can Transform You and the World. It will be published NEXT WEEK Nov 3rd!! Join us for a booksigning: Nov 3rd at the Boulder Bookstore, 1107 Pearl St., Boulder CO; Nov 11^th at Powell's, 1005 Burnside, Portland OR; Nov 13th at Barnes &Noble, 2675 NW University Village St., Seattle WA; Nov 16^th at Barnes & Nobel, 150 East 86^th St., NYC; and Nov 17^th at Gasoline Alley, 250 Albany St., Springfield MA. More details at: www.EdandDebShapiro.com

****

Ed and Deb Shapiro’s new book, BE THE CHANGE, How Meditation Can Transform You And The World, forewords by the Dalai Lama and Robert Thurman, with contributors such as Marianne Williamson, astronaut Edgar Mitchell, Ellen Burstyn, Michael Beckwith, Jon Kabat-Zinn, Jane Fonda, Jack Kornfield, Byron Katie, Dean Ornish, Jean Houston and others will be published Nov 3rd 2009 by Sterling Ethos. Deb is the author of the award-winning book YOUR BODY SPEAKS YOUR MIND. Ed and Deb are the authors of over 15 books, and lead meditation retreats and workshops. Enjoy their 3 meditation CD’s: Metta - Loving kindness and Forgiveness; Samadhi – Breath Awareness and Insight; and Yoga Nidra – Inner Conscious Relaxation, available on their website: www.EdandDebShapiro.com

 

 

Follow Ed and Deb Shapiro on Twitter: www.twitter.com/edanddebshapiro

Comments

[Heauxbeaux]

Ed & Deb,

I love the "Noting and Labeling" section in your article and plan to try it out soon. It sounds like a wonderful bit of self-discovery.

I wear many masks in my life, each of which hides a different aspect of my "true" self, whom I don't really know because I haven't yet taken the time to discover that person, though I have been yearning to get in touch with him lately.

Because of my ancestry in the House of Anjou and the Plantagenet kings I enjoy attending the Renaissance Festival here in Larkspur, Colorado, and in fact my wife and I will be traveling to the Texas Renaissance Festival in a couple of weeks marking the first time we have attended one out of state. It should be a hoot! So when I dress up for Halloween it is usually as one of King Richard's knights, a merchant of the period, or as a pirate mainly because of the flashiness one can display. Normally I am quite introverted and quiet, so these outings present an opportunity to come out of my shell a little.

Thanks for the article. I live in Lakewood but enjoy going to Boulder to hang out with those who are more progressive and perhaps old hippies like me. Let me know if there are any classes you teach locally - I would enjoy meeting you.

[Dr. Cara Barker - Huffpost Blogger]

HuffPost's Pick

Dear Ed and Deb,

Love the blog here, and love your new book. Bravo.

Your subject today reminds me a great deal of living in Switzerland, and an amazing tradition they have in the winter. Groups work for a good year on their chosen theme, which is the shadow side of the personality they put out in the world. The ritual parade begins around 2am, and for hours there is a movement through the village with costuming, flutes, drums, etc. It is truly a dreamland. It is not 'acting as if,' but rather a reclaiming of the parts of human nature that we keep hidden. Periodically, in the sub-freezing weather, you drop into a pub or bistro, have onion soup and heavy bread, and then hit the stormy blast, once more. By dawn, there is not one sign of evidence that anything has gone on. The streets are immaculate. And, so, it is as if you've shared a collective dream. Can you imagine working for a year with your little group, or 'society ' as they call them, to create something so enriching? Just thought you might like this tidbit. Perhaps you and Deb have been there since she's from London.

Love your way,
Cara

[Ed and Deb Shapiro - Huffpost Blogger]

Hi Cara-

thisw is a great comment

Halloweenin Switzerland sounds awesome

In England where Deb (is English & I am an Englaish citizen)) and I spend a lot of time. Halloween is celebrated but Guy Fawkes Day is huge and big barn fires are in every town.

People are in renaissance costumes and big balloons are burnt as effigies ..

Blessings,

Ed

[MerhabaAbi]

HI Ed and Deb,

I'm all of my lables but to different degrees. I'm Dad and my wife's husband more then most of them. But I'm Mike with the self-image of friendly and helpful at the core.

This year we're going out as Sonny and Cher. It's a fun mask but not one to really hide behind, just one to play with. Last year, my wife did a fantastic Sarah Palin. She practiced by watching Tina Fey and nailed it. The clicks, winks and you betcha's along with the non-sensical round-about way of responding to a question without ever answering and stopping in mid-sentence as the she concluded knocked everyone dead.

Boo!

Scare ya?

Happy Hallow's Eve
little brother

[Ed and Deb Shapiro - Huffpost Blogger]

Little brother you are a hoot (as they say in England)

It is so good to play with your partner and enjoy this gift of life

Soony and Cher must be a goof

I went to a party last year and there were 3 Sarah Palin's

At least she is good looking even if her mind is in ignorance

they say you can't have everything ... or could you?

Ed

[NilesCrane]

considering the last time I dressed up for halloween was 2002 as a terrorist, um I hope that my costume choices dont reflect a real me lol...

Ive been a vampire, the killer from scream (actually i had the mask before the movie even came out and wore it to school so I was just a silly black ghost), I was a hobo, I was batman, I was a ninja...

I cant remember any more its been so long..

so this means I love the color black (which I do, its the main color in my wardrobe), I also like to dress up according to the times...me­aning im fairly up to date on popular culture or whats in the news...I like things covering my face, the ninja mask, the batman mask, the ghost mask, and I do wear my sunglasses all the time even indoors so...

I was going to be patrick bateman for halloween this year, but after looking at my past costumes, Im thinking that might not be a good idea...I think im secretly a wannabe murderer, thats not good lol.

hmm this really tells alot about me lol

[Ed and Deb Shapiro - Huffpost Blogger]

NilesCrane- It tells your honest and you have a great sense of humor

My teacher use to say:

The difference between a Yogi and a madman is Yogis know they are mad

hope you enjoy Halloween what you decide to be

Be fun

Ed

[Eli Davidson - Huffpost Blogger]

Hello There,
As always you knock it out of the ball park. I adore the thought of you as Holy People...s­ince you are. Halloween and haven't put my heart into unleashing my inner goddess-goblin-goof ball.

Everyone knows that I do the very best Arianna Huffington on the planet so I am teetering between Ari and a Greek Goddess...­only because I have the clothes. I may get inspired, but you do bring up a great point in having the joy of exposing my mask.

Bless you both,
Eli

[Ed and Deb Shapiro - Huffpost Blogger]

Hi Eli my special one

why not bring the 2 together

go as Ari the Greek Goddess

There is no other GG like our Arianna as she sure is a modern day Goddess. The world sure could use all the Goddess energy possible. If women ruled I think we would have a better world.

May all people be happy,

Ed

[Pema]

well the white house said bloggers should get out of thier pj's...so i think going as a blogger would be most comfy, i wont have to change when i come home either ;)

[Ed and Deb Shapiro - Huffpost Blogger]

Pema - you are funny and sooo cool

I hope the pj's keep you warm

Thanks always for you comments they lighten up the day

Ed

[Pippen]

Vampire
Batman
Jean Lafitte
Casanova

Add them up I get : The Marquis Desade

Perfect ! Now if only it paid.

[Ed and Deb Shapiro - Huffpost Blogger]

Hi pippen- thanks for your comment

I think you have quite a good list here

sure looks colorful

love them all

of course it pays .. money can't buy HAPPINESS .. but of course it does help

Happy days,

Ed

[Shiroe]

HuffPost's Pick

First of all, know thyself is, to me, one of the most important things a person can do. It can be scary confronting things about ourselves we may not like, but by recognizing them, one can learn to curb their influence on our daily lives.

This also helps me specifically because I am bi-polar, and it helps me recognize which of my moods are me and which are simply hormones.

I identify most with angels. I always have and I don't know why. This doesn't mean I think I'm pure good - remember, angels destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah and the Book of Enoch is rife with angels who do all sorts of bad things but are still considered "good." But I've known a few vampires in my lifetime, and my partner identifies most with succubi even though he's a guy.

Exploring yourself is a fascinating journey that can only be matched by exploring the universe. In many ways, they are one and the same.

[Ed and Deb Shapiro - Huffpost Blogger]

Love your story

Love you comment

Appreciate your honesty

Wise woman

Ed

[Valkyrie Ice]

There's a reason it's my icon dear XP

[Ed and Deb Shapiro - Huffpost Blogger]

great!

[Aesthete]

I was always a girly girl and probably somewhat a diva. I haven't celebrated Halloween since childhood, but I did win a 1st place trophy for best costume in a church-affiliated contest. I dressed up as Queen Esther from the Old Testament book of Esther.

[Ed and Deb Shapiro - Huffpost Blogger]

Aesthete - Wow

I loved Queen Esther

book of Esther .. supreme

Ed

[Ed and Deb Shapiro - Huffpost Blogger]

Love Esther

my favorite from the Old Testament

also

have a fun

Halloween

Ed

[BannedbannedBunny]

I am picking up your book. Love what I've read here. You two are great writers and the HP is lucky to have you on their team. love and peace

[Ed and Deb Shapiro - Huffpost Blogger]

BannedbannedBunny - Thank you .. that means a lot

I hope we see more of you here

May all people be happy,

Ed

[mamacat]

Yo Ho, Yo Ho, a pirate's life for me.....

[Ed and Deb Shapiro - Huffpost Blogger]

mamacat

we have 2 cats .. they run our lives .. and we love it

I was a pirate most of my younger days

Ed

yo ho ho

[mamacat]

Something about play-acting as a Pirate makes me feel uninhibited and free, and brings a smile to my face. Let me be clear, I am only into the free-spirited part of being a Pirate, not the part that goes around hurting people.

We have almost always had one or more cats and dogs. After awhile they seem almost human.
Interesting aside, I have noticed that people who lived through the Great Depression tended to keep a distance between themselves and their pets, and I kind of reckoned it was in case they were ever again in a position where they could not afford to take care of their pets.

[aabbey]

Masks can often reveal the inner person. The famous story of Esther/Mor­dechai/Aha­seurus (also known as Xerxes) and Haman - the Jewish Purim story - is a major inspiration here. The name Esther is from the same Hebrew root word for hidden. Esther was hidden - as a Jew in pagan Persia - her counterpart in the story - Vas...hti - was asked to dance naked for Xerxes and crew - the opposite of hidden, of course.

Here in Israel we don't do Hallowe'en, of course, except for a few club-type parties. However, on Purim, the entire country dresses up in costumes. Kids wear them to school and go through 2-3 costumes in the week preceding the holiday. Purim may be the most psychologically complex and misunderstood holiday on the Jewish calendar.

I applaud Ed & Deb's meditation - and Tara's yoga - and practice both - and I understand Ed & Deb's rootedness in the Americaness of Hallowe'en, but it's just not something I can relate to anymore, especially as I came to understand the pagan/anti-Semitic origins of the holiday in Europe and how it affected Jews back then. I am glad to have my own holiday, a national-religious one, as part of a full integration of the personal, philosophical, psychological, intellectual and spiritual aspects of my life and personality.

You all should come to Israel for a visit - you, too, Tara; there's tons of yoga here.

[mamacat]

My partner and I have discussed it, and have decided against visiting Israel until there is peace with the Arabs. The whole thing of refusing to denounce the continued expansion of Jewish settlements is offensive.

[Ed and Deb Shapiro - Huffpost Blogger]

mamacat- I hear you but Deb and I are English citizens (Deb was born in London) we have visited Israel and I love it

I spoke to a Palestinian Cab driver in London and he said it's not the people but the Governments that are the problem.

The people in both countries want peace.

What to do?

Let us open our hearts and pray for peace and live in peace ..

May all people be happy and free from suffering.­. we are one human family

Ed

[aabbey]

Masks can often reveal the inner person. The famous story of Esther/Mor­dechai/Aha­seurus (also known as Xerxes) and Haman - the Jewish Purim story - is a major inspiration here. The name Esther is from the same Hebrew root word for hidden. Esther was hidden - as a Jew in pagan Persia - her counterpart in the story - Vashti - was asked to dance naked for Xerxes and crew - the opposite of hidden, of course.

Here in Israel we don't do Hallowe'en, of course, except for a few club-type parties. However, on Purim, the entire country dresses up in costumes. Kids wear them to school and go through 2-3 costumes in the week preceding the holiday. Purim may be the most psychologically complex and misunderstood holiday on the Jewish calendar.

I applaud Ed & Deb's meditation - and Tara's yoga - and practice both - and I understand Ed & Deb's rootedness in the Americaness of Hallowe'en, but it's just not something I can relate to anymore, especially as I came to understand the pagan/anti-Semitic origins of the holiday in Europe and how it affected Jews back then. I am glad to have my own holiday, a national-religious one, as part of a full integration of the personal, philosophical, psychological, intellectual and spiritual aspects of my life and personality.

You all should come to Israel for a visit - you, too, Tara; there's tons of yoga here.

[Ed and Deb Shapiro - Huffpost Blogger]

aabbey - wow great comment and thanks for your explanation

It seems like the good ole days weren't so good. the inhumanity .. the ignorance is so chilling

why do we hurt and create so much suffering? we address this issue in our new book that will be published Nov 3rd.

I remember asking this question to Jane Fonda a beautiful human being.

do check it out BE THE CHANGE

We were in Israel 2 times... have family and friends there. Love it

Shalom,

Ed

[CR46]

I'm going as a 20's flapper this year(the dress is ruby red and an original from an aunt!) My long hair will stay, but I hope people can get the idea. My hubby will be dressed from the same period. LOL!! I think I try to touch my inner "bad girl" every halloween and will probably continue as long as my body holds out and I can get away with it :)
It may seem childish but we love to dress up for halloween :) I don't think I've missed many yrs. in my life

[Ed and Deb Shapiro - Huffpost Blogger]

CR46 - What a hoot as they say in England.

Life is precious and goes quickly so have fun fun fun

and enjoy the jouney

thanks for you great comments

Ed

[khanti]

Ho! Ho! Ho! Anyone dressed up as Santa Claus during Halloween? It's time Santa get some treats back.

[Ed and Deb Shapiro - Huffpost Blogger]

khanti - why not you

your generosity and wise words are always appreciated

Ed