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Why Do We Get Addicted To The Guru?

Posted: 06/21/11 09:11 AM ET

Rely on the teachings to evaluate a guru: Do not have blind faith, but also no blind criticism. -- His Holiness the Dalai Lama

The power of faith is amazing. Some years ago we were teaching a workshop in Plymouth, England, when a student eagerly told us that Deepak Chopra had "renounced the world" and was teaching at the local Heart and Soul Healing Center. He was holding gatherings each night and participants were experiencing profound healings and personal transformations. When we went to meet the so-called "Deepak" we discovered him to be an artful impostor. With his exposure, his followers lost faith and the healings and transformations stopped. This was a classic example of when belief in a guru / healer supersedes our own intelligence, due to the faith and longing to be "saved." The real Deepak Chopra later thanked us!

In yogic terms the word guru means "remover of darkness or ignorance." One of India's greatest holy men, Ramana Maharshi, often said that the role of the guru was to push the student inside in order to see the guru within -- as the true guru is within each and every one of us.

Yet invariably the opposite is true, as seen when a guru encourages adoration, dependence and obedience to them and them only. This is known in India as gurudom (as in kingdom) where the guru amasses a big following and sees him/herself as the ultimate authority but does not empower their students. The guru may even call their followers babies or treat them like children, thereby the student feels inferior and the teacher appears all-knowing and superior.

This can lead to an "enlightened ego," where one experiences all the wonders of enlightenment but the ego snatches the reward: "I am enlightened!" Yet who or what is enlightened? This is not unusual, as the ego is subtle and seductive, and it is often a trap when we believe we are enlightened. As it is said: Those that say don't know and those who know don't say!

Similarly, many people go to every healer that comes to town in their longing to be fixed or healed. They believe every healer will be the one to solve the mystery of whatever is causing their ill health. We also get addicted to movie stars and their seemingly fabulous lives as a way of filling the void in our own lives.

Hence the scenario where we see followers becoming guru junkies, not only dependent but actually addicted to their guru, as if he or she were a therapist or movie star with their followers doing anything to meet them, wearing necklaces with the guru's photo, hanging the guru's picture on their wall, but often only seeing them from a distance and knowing nothing about them. As with therapy where a patient may "fall in love" with their therapist, so the spiritual student can "fall in love" with the guru, although this is more of a strong infatuation. Many times female followers will fall so in love with the guru that they even submit to sexual abuse, and we know of gurus mistreating students in the name of obedience: if you are truly devoted then you will do this or that for me. The innocent student obeys, only to regret it afterwards and in need of therapy to make sense of it.

We have both had personal time experiencing the guru student relationship. In the late 1960s Ed went through a classic traditional yogic training where obedience was paramount and his devotion was unswerving. "I trusted whatever I was told without question and that if I surrendered my point of view or whatever I believed to be true then I would be a candidate for self realization. My guru once said: "True surrender is when you are right and the guru is wrong and you can surrender being right. At the same time I believed my guru was the incarnation of God. My blind devotion caused me to be too dependent on my guru and left me unable to function as an ordinary person. I even felt I was more special than others who didn't have this experience, that as I had a yoga name and title I was so superior!"

We worship the guru as God and see him or her as divine while mistreating or denigrating others. When we were last in India we were visiting the ashram of a guru who hugs each of her thousands of devoted followers. When we arrived the guru was in the middle of a devotional Goddess worship, where both she and her many disciples enter into ecstatic states. We noticed a man standing with his young child directly in front of the guru, expressing deep devotion. Soon afterward we were all in line to catch an elevator to the residential floors. As there was only one elevator there was a long line. Suddenly this man and his child came right to the front. Ed pointed out there was a line of waiting people, at which the man retorted "F...k you!" Aha! The guru is divine; everyone else is not.

This is ironic because in India the most wonderful greeting is namaste, which means "the God in me honors the God in you." Unless we see the God or truth in all people we are like a misguided missile. We limit our own growth and chance to be free. As the Dalai Lama said to us when we were with him at his residence in India: "We are all equal here!"

Many people surrender to a guru with a kind of blind faith, or without checking the teacher out first. Yet, would you marry a person as soon as you met them, without knowing them? Wouldn't you spend as much time as possible so you know they are right for you? The Crazy Wisdom Buddhist teacher, Chogyam Trungpa, said we should always be skeptical. Swami Satchidananda said that we should check out a guru just as we would check out a chicken before buying one.

Perhaps we worship a guru so blindly and surrender so willingly due to our own self-doubt, the reluctance to acknowledge our own innate understanding, insights and wisdom. We make the guru greater than we are, demeaning ourselves in the process. And yet the same truth that is within the guru is within us all. What we learn from the external guru is that just as one person can awaken, so we all can. Perhaps we need help, yes, but only until we stop searching outside ourselves. Then the seeker becomes the seer!

Have you ever been addicted to a guru, therapist, healer, or even a movie star? Do comment below. You can receive notice of our blogs every Tuesday by checking Become a Fan at the top.

See our award-winning book: BE THE CHANGE, How Meditation Can Transform You and the World, forewords by the Dalai Lama and Robert Thurman, with contributors Byron Katie, Debbie Ford, John Gray, Gangaji, Krishna Das, Jane Fonda, Jack Kornfield, Marianne Williamson, Ram Dass, Gregg Braden and many others.

Our 3 meditation CD's: Metta--Loving kindness and Forgiveness; Samadhi-Breath Awareness and Insight; and Yoga Nidra-Inner Conscious Relaxation, are available at: www.EdandDebShapiro.com

 
 
 

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Rely on the teachings to evaluate a guru: Do not have blind faith, but also no blind criticism. -- His Holiness the Dalai Lama The power of faith is amazing. Some years ago we were teaching a worksho...
Rely on the teachings to evaluate a guru: Do not have blind faith, but also no blind criticism. -- His Holiness the Dalai Lama The power of faith is amazing. Some years ago we were teaching a worksho...
 
 
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10:21 AM on 06/27/2011
our true nature is to be a servent to all form. it is the mind that says, this is worthy and that is not. and so the separation and division begin. we serve by being no one in the absolute nothingness, right where we've always been. there's no longer any need to do a blessed thing except to realize the inner wisdom to allow all to be exactly as it is. once this is abundantly clear, the guru and all the spiritual books can be left behind.
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Ed and Deb Shapiro
02:47 PM on 06/27/2011
YES!
09:10 PM on 06/26/2011
One mans philosophy is the over analyzing of the truth through the ego to make it his. This is how physical gurus confuse and entertain their cult members to try and make themselves look superior, when in fact they have lowered themselves with ego by trying to gain control because of their ulterior motive. When people become aware of where their thoughts come from, is when they become conscious. Most people have no clue because they look at every experience as a coincidence which is truly an a atheist word. When you start to use your consciousness is when you are able to have more mind control. Yogi Bhajan had a saying that made it easy to explain what I teach " be consciously conscious of your consciousness" When you are able to do this and understand the law of love, you become independent and not codependent, like the followers of these so called gurus. When you remove all the confusion, you will not give up who you truly are to the ego.

http://donttouchtheplate.com/
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Ed and Deb Shapiro
07:32 AM on 06/27/2011
Interesting & powerful point of view - thank you for commenting and sharing!

http://don­ttouchthep­late.com/
08:30 AM on 06/26/2011
life itself is the ultimate guru. seen sometimes as cruel and at other times as loving and bountiful, what these gurus do (that may not seem to make sense at all) is to do whatever it takes to WAKE US UP. that really is the function of all the karma, the samskaras and even the personal ego. they are all energetic phantoms of our own making, and so, if viewed correctly, are the challenges we ourselves (the inner guru) have placed for our mistaken selves--who knows when?

this is why, once awakened, all of it loses its false power: it has been transcended.



OM
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Ed and Deb Shapiro
10:15 AM on 06/26/2011
Brilliantly said - love it!

Your name says it all - itsalladream
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onlyThis
All I Am is You
11:17 AM on 06/26/2011
I most strongly disagree. We do not wake up. We are what is woken up from. We are not the "dreamers". We are what is being dreamed. The ego wants to "wake up". The ego wants to "transcend". More dream stuff. The dream character does not wake up, if waking up occurs the dream character is gone. When you have a regular sleeping ream and you wake up what happens to the you in the dream? It disappears and it is also seen that it never really existed. So it is with awakening, "you" disappear and it is seen that you never had any real existence in the first place. This is not nice ego feeling, this is obliteration.
Nobody in their right mind really wants to wake up because it is the end of "you". Enlightenment has just been hijacked and resold by the new age community as some empowerment or transcendent experience. It is nothing of the sort, it is death, it is being consumed, it is a rebirth that can only happen by total destruction.
The other thing is that "you", being a dream figure, cannot bring this about. The dream character cannot wake up since that character IS the dream.
03:14 PM on 06/24/2011
2010
THE CONSEQUENCES OF TRUTH
It does not matter what you thought before
the Truth.
All of it is in ruins anyway.
An illusion of an illusion.
A phantasm, a gost of thoughts in living color
streaming inward toward the
borderline of a consciousness that
in Truth, does not exist.
Mind believes in it's sovereignty to the point
of denying it's own existance.
Make peace with the Truth.
Love the Truth.
Understand the Truth.
Be the Truth.
That is the consequence of Truth.
If you do this
the mind will understand
and rejoice in it's freedom.
Beauty is Truth. Love is Truth.
Soul is Truth. I AM is Truth.
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Ed and Deb Shapiro
07:04 AM on 06/25/2011
Yes! Wonderful :-)
02:52 PM on 06/24/2011
This is the perfect example of what happens when a so called "GURU" has a giant EGO problem and he is out control. Check out the CNN ireport and the links connected in it.
http://ireport.cnn.com/docs/DOC-623058
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Ed and Deb Shapiro
07:31 AM on 06/25/2011
Thank you!

http://ire­port.cnn.c­om/docs/DO­C-623058
11:34 PM on 06/23/2011
People seek the guru because the teacher exudes light and love. It is nice to bathe in this feeling and the seeker wants more. Sometimes the teacher enjoys this power over others and a darkness creeps in - a white shadow if you will. Other times the teacher is disciplined and worthy of reverence. The wise student will discern the difference. A little scepticism can be healthy in the early stages before the student realises that the light is within everybody.
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Ed and Deb Shapiro
09:04 AM on 06/24/2011
Brilliant!

fanned & fav'd

a worthy read!
09:40 PM on 06/23/2011
The guru is a misused word in these times. In the old days they were teachers that would help guide others and expected nothing from their students, now they are known as cult leaders who live like movie stars. Many codependents get involved in these cults and lose themselves like one would give up who they truly are in a bad relationship. Some lose a great deal of money thinking they will be enlightened. The sikhs only acknowledge guru dev, the unseen guru and would never bow to any one in the physical. I am a teacher and if anyone calls me a guru, I correct them and ask them not to call me that.
http://donttouchtheplate.com/
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Ed and Deb Shapiro
10:04 PM on 06/23/2011
You are a joy - your comment is spot on

Fanned & Fav'd

http://don­ttouchthep­late.com/
02:49 AM on 06/24/2011
Thnk you

99.8% of the population have no real clue of who or what they are. I teach the fundamentals of being a spirit in the physical. "No one is less than divine, people are programed to think and act less than. It's time to change the program". My book is what I teach and if many read it, the energy will change.
http://donttouchtheplate.com/
09:31 PM on 06/23/2011
1996
THE DAWNING OF SOUL
As the sun rises over the rim of the world
so I, soul, rise over the edges of my mind
illuminating the universe of consciousness
in all directions.
Casting shadows where none have appeared before,
I walk through the desert of this dawning
feeling in those places of darkness
the roots pf my behavior.
I am the warrior of spirit.
Armed with the blade of Shabda,
I cut loose the vines of entrapments
grown out of lives long ago forgotten
in the mists of Karma.
Looking into this morning of illumination
I listen to the sweet voice of the Master.
He is here with me, always guiding me
always reminding me that
yes,
I am.
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Ed and Deb Shapiro
01:16 PM on 06/24/2011
Brilliant! ~ thank you....
08:28 PM on 06/23/2011
Sorry, me again!

I also wrote an article about my own Guru or spiritual guide of 30 years, addressing some of the points you make implicitly at least. http://bit.ly/mlSr89

For example (and I'll copy/paste it here as it does seem relevant to what you are discussing):

"It is said that enlightened beings – anyone who has removed all obstructions from the mind and perfected all good qualities — have the power to emanate infinite forms, which are like reflections on the water of faithful minds. In that sense, I have my personal spiritual guide, you have yours. Buddha’s emanations can also appear in the form of one person due to our collective karma, and thousands of students may gather for example to hear their Guru’s teachings; but the spiritual guide is always at the heart of each of his or her students, as if we have our own spiritual guide all to ourselves."
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Ed and Deb Shapiro
01:21 PM on 06/24/2011
Yes yes!
08:16 PM on 06/23/2011
I think this is the key: "We worship the guru as God and see him or her as divine while mistreating or denigrating others." If we or others are doing that, we have lost the plot.

Believing in a Guru entails believing in our own potential for complete purity and liberation, and by extension believing in others too.

Our Guru is a reflection of our own mind, just like everything else, and so in some senses we all have our own Guru, even if he or she appears in the form of one person. It is like the sun shining toward us on the water -- we always feel it is shining right at us but the person ten feet away thinks it is shining right at them!

Actually, these comments hardly touch the surface of what I'm trying to say so I'll just conclude with thanks for a good and useful article.

A couple of weeks ago an article I wrote called Kung Fu Panda and the Secret Ingredient by chance made it onto the front page of Wordpress and so garnered a lot of interest from movie buffs -- and it was all about the spiritual relationship between teachers and students!! http://kadampalife.org/2011/05/24/kung-fu-panda-and-the-secret-ingredient
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Ed and Deb Shapiro
01:20 PM on 06/24/2011
Excellent Luna ~ well said!

btw - when I checked the website above it said - Not Found
10:28 PM on 06/24/2011
Hmmm, not sure why. Here it is again:
http://kadampalife.org/2011/05/24/kung-fu-panda-and-the-secret-ingredient/
06:26 PM on 06/23/2011
Hi Ed & Deb,
Very "enlightening" blog...thank you!
For myself, with regard to a guru, I've always embraced the wonderful words
of wisdom:
Gee...You...Are...You... (GURU)!!!

I totally love and honor and have integrated the teachings of some well known Gurus and for that I'm most appreciative!

Love,
AndiG
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Ed and Deb Shapiro
10:01 PM on 06/23/2011
You are one of the brightest Lights -

It is a joy to see you here

May you bring happiness to all you meet!

Ommmmmmm
03:55 PM on 06/22/2011
good article BUT the author reaally needs to use a sanskrit dictionary... the definition of both guru and namaste are fully wrong.
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Ed and Deb Shapiro
05:54 PM on 06/22/2011
Lama Kunga Choedak -

when i lived in India this is what I was taught - but if you want to enlighten us do share your definition please

Dhanyavaad - thank you (Hindi)

Jygme Powa - Ed
06:18 PM on 06/22/2011
guru- from Skt. lit. "heavy, weighty," derived from root "go" (cow) i.e. Big bull.

namaste
"salutatory gesture," from Skt. namas "bowing" + te, dative of tuam "you" (sing.). i.e., "I bow to you"
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Ed and Deb Shapiro
07:50 PM on 06/22/2011
I prefer the definition of tpaloalto - as it is easier for westerners to comprehend

"gu" means destroyer "ru" means darkness
from Sanskrit.
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Ed and Deb Shapiro
06:00 PM on 06/22/2011
btw - Lama - better to look in your heart - rather than a definition in a dictionary!
06:22 PM on 06/22/2011
i will disregard that out of compassion.
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Ed and Deb Shapiro
07:45 PM on 06/22/2011
Namaste

:-))
This user has chosen to opt out of the Badges program
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01:09 PM on 06/22/2011
If only Kirby Brown, James Shore, and Elizebeth Nueman were here to participate- No doubt they would give us some insight into how they were able to do the things that James Ray asked of them with no thought to the pain and delirium they experienced for 3 days right up to and including death.
There will be no Mea Culpa from the guru.
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Ed and Deb Shapiro
11:56 PM on 06/22/2011
wow - I hear you!
12:15 PM on 06/22/2011
In the authentic Guru-devotee relationship, distraction is the whole point. No method or technique that the ego can institute can result in the ego transcending itself. As westerners we are quick to judge and mock the seemingly insipid role that the devotee seems to assume in relation to his Guru. We like to think we can do it ourselves with all the "true Guru is within" business. But if the Guru is for real, his primary function is to distract the devotee from his egoic presumptions. This is a necessary function. Regardless of how much the ego would like to believe otherwise. The love relationship with a Guru distracts the devotee in the same way that one is distracted by a lover. The devotee naturally thinks of the Guru. This distraction allows the underlying structure of the ego to fall away, if the Guru is genuine this love becomes a fire that burns away the dross that hides one's Divinity. There is no other process by which this can happen. The ego cannot transcend itself anymore than the eye can see itself, or, to use another metaphor, one cannot pull oneself up by tugging on one's own bootstraps.

Of course there are many inauthentic gurus out there that have given the process a bad name. This should in no way allow the denigration of the Great Spiritual Adepts who have served the Guru function, nor the Guru-devotee process itself.
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Ed and Deb Shapiro
08:03 AM on 06/23/2011
Brilliant well said!

fanned & fav'd

this is a must read!
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anoise
My micro bio is too small to fit here....
07:34 PM on 06/23/2011
DA!
11:29 AM on 06/22/2011
HI Ed and Deb,

I think many social constructs use the father/elder type relationship to enhance authority, leadership and credibility. I taught my kids to listen to me. But as they got older, I realized that the only way to persuade them to adopt my philosophy was to convince them through reasoning that my ideas were worth exploring. Fast forward and they're young adults who are perfectly wonderful and who have minds of their own. Yes, they accepted some of my tenets and they've rejected others as they made up their own minds. In fairness, I've rejected some of my previous beliefs too and will undoubtedly cast off others before it's all said and done.

Trust your instincts. Be kind. Pursue your dreams.

best wishes,
little brother
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Ed and Deb Shapiro
07:28 AM on 06/23/2011
Wise and compassionate comment - you are caring father little brother!

Within us all is true wisdom meditation clears the mind and opens the heart to reveal the pure nature of our authentic self!