We were teaching a meditation program in North Wales, in the UK, in a quiet backwater near the hills. It was a peaceful day, everyone was happily seated, and we had just rung the gong to begin the morning session when a motorbike started revving right outside the window. It was a loud and annoying noise that continued -- stopping and starting -- while the owner did repair work. It reminded us how, in England, church bells can ring all day and during meditation retreats we would often be confronted with the question: How do you stop the bell? Answer: Become the bell!
An old monk in England once told us he was teaching next to a building site and a loud pneumatic drill started up. He said, "We had to become the drill," for meditation is not about forcing the mind to be absolutely still. Rather, it's a letting go of resistance to whatever arises.
There are many reasons why meditation can appear difficult or even challenging, listening to the noises outside or the incessant chatter in our head being one of them. We easily get bored if we do nothing for too long, even if it's only 10 minutes, and even more so if we are unclear as to why we are doing it. But what is it about something as simple as sitting still and watching our breath that evokes panic, fear, and even hostility?
After years of hearing a plethora of reasons why people find it hard to meditate, we have whittled it down to just a few:
1. I'm too busy, and I'm too stressed. This can certainly be true if, for instance, you have a lot to do, like having young children and a full-time job. However, we are only talking about maybe 10 minutes a day. Most of us spend more time than that reading the newspaper or surfing the web. It only appears like we don't have the time because we usually fill every moment with activity and never press the pause button. There is no medical cure for stress but, as meditation is one of the best remedies, it's worth creating the space for it.
The important point is that you make friends with meditation. It'll be of no help at all if you feel you have to meditate, for instance, and then feel guilty if you miss the allotted time or only do 10 minutes when you had promised to do 30. It's much better to practice for a just a short time and to enjoy what you are doing than to sit there, teeth gritted, because you've been told that only 30 or even 40 minutes will have any affect. Meditation is a companion to have throughout life, like an old friend you turn to when in need of support, inspiration, and clarity. It is to be enjoyed!
2. My mind won't stop thinking. I can't relax, I just can't! My thoughts are driving me crazy! Sound familiar? Trying to stop your mind from thinking is like trying to stop the wind -- it's impossible. The mind is said to be like a drunken monkey bitten by a scorpion, because just as a monkey leaps from branch to branch, so the mind leaps from one thing to another, constantly distracted and busy. When you come to sit still and try to quiet your mind, you find all this manic activity going on and it seems insanely noisy. It's actually nothing new, just that now you are becoming aware of it, whereas before you were immersed in it, unaware that such chatter was so constant.
This experience of the mind being so busy is very normal. Years of busy mind, of creating and maintaining dramas, of stresses and confusion and self-centeredness, and the mind has no idea how to be still. Rather, it craves distraction and entertainment. It's not as if you can suddenly turn the mind off, but the experience of stillness is accumulative: The more you sit, then slowly the mind becomes quieter. Every time you find your mind is drifting, daydreaming, remembering the past or planning ahead, just come back to now, come back to this moment. Nothing else.
3. There are too many distractions; it's too noisy. Gone are the days when we could disappear into a cave and be left undisturbed until we emerged some time later fully enlightened. Instead, we all have to deal with the sounds and impositions of the world around us. But -- and it's a big but -- we needn't let it impose. Cars going by outside? Fine. Let them go by, just don't go with them. The quiet you are looking for is inside, not outside.
4. I don't see the point. This is where you have to take our word for it! Some people get how beneficial meditation is after just one session, but most of us take longer -- you might notice a difference after a week of daily practice or maybe more. This means you have to trust the process enough to hang in there and keep going, even before you get the benefits. After practicing and teaching for many years, we can happily assure you it is well worth it.
Remember, music needs to be played for hours to get the notes right, while in Japan it can take 12 years to learn how to arrange flowers. Being still happens in a moment, but it may take some time before that moment comes -- hence the need for practice as well as patience.
5. I'm no good at this; I never get it right. Actually, it's impossible to fail at meditation. There is no right or wrong, and there's no special technique. Deb's meditation teacher told her there are as many forms of meditation as there are people who practice it. So all you need do is find the way that works for you and keep at it. You can sit on the floor, sit in a chair, do moving meditation such as tai chi or walking, watch your breath, repeat a mantra, or develop loving kindness. There are many variations.
6. It's all just weird New Age hype. It's certainly easy to get lost in the array of New Age promises of eternal happiness, but meditation itself is as old as the hills. More than 2,500 years ago the Buddha was a dedicated meditator who tried and tested numerous different ways of enabling the mind to be quiet. And that's just one example. Each religion has its own variation on the theme, and all stretch back over the centuries. So nothing new here, and nothing weird or whacky.
Do you find meditation difficult? Do comment below. You can receive notice of our blogs every Thursday by checking Become a Fan at the top.
See our award-winning book: BE THE CHANGE, How Meditation Can Transform You and the World, forewords by the Dalai Lama and Robert Thurman, with contributors Jack Kornfield, Jon Kabat-Zinn, Byron Katie, Sakyong Mipham, Joseph Goldstein and many others.
Deb is the author of the award-winning YOUR BODY SPEAKS YOUR MIND, Decoding the Emotional, Psychological, and Spiritual Messages That Underlie Illness.
Our three meditation CDs: Metta -- Loving kindness and Forgiveness; Samadhi -- Breath Awareness and Insight; and Yoga Nidra -- Inner Conscious Relaxation, are available at: www.EdandDebShapiro.com
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I think your six reasons people find it hard to meditate are great, but I have a suggestion that may also help: Focus on the reason you are meditating in the first place! Much of the problem people have who are new to meditation results from being vague about what they are trying to do and why. First, realize that the essence of meditation starts with shutting out our perceptions of the physical world. We find a peaceful, quiet place and get comfortable, shutting down the part of our mind that responds to the physical to focus on the part that responds to things nonphysical. Sure mundane concerns will get in the way a lot, but just taking the time to get in touch with your inner being is success in itself. Most people never even take this step.
As time goes on, if you stick with it, and irrespective of the technique you use, you WILL get better. Eventually a time of peaceful communing with your inner self will be one of the high points of your day.
You know, it strikes me that the 'monkey mind' references so often made are anything but helpful. Drunken monkey, monkey bitten by a scorpion - nobody speaks admiringly of those, and yet that's applied to something that has created so much. They sound like a total put-down of the very fact that we can and do think. That strikes me as extremely negative.
If one has to have an image for the distracted mind, what about a kitten or puppy or some other appealing animal playing? It's more inherently soothing and one can always imagine said furry having a nap ...
Thanks for your comment!
But I do like kitten & puppies images-
feels compassionate!
What then is it called when a person opens his heart to love and his entire being is filled with radiance? What if one devotes time to passionately sing doxologies (bhajan) giving her heart to the song or chant?
Rather than sitting and watching and waiting each unbearable minute as the clock ticks, something mysterious is stirred within tickled by a sound -- an inner sound that buzzes from a voice an imagined voice, a single idea. Here, one has given up. Empty of self-importance, void of self-indulgences, but eager to offer this -- all of this up as a gift, the only gift one has. Is that meditation? Or, it is possible that we, you and I have stumbled into something else, something quite exquisite?
Ommmmmmmmm-
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh
great to do!
Thanks for your comment!
which is a traditional meditation -
walking meditation-
then sitting
awareness is the key!
Fanned & Fav'd
Treasure yourself,
Ed
You can't control the mind but awareness of the monkey mind is the key-
No need to do anything - as long as you don't give it energy & are mindfully -
are aware it will just eventually move on - & if not so be it!
Be aware & you can't miss!
when you become the bell you will be the first to know!
That pure beautiful gem is always there. When we sit down to meditate we try to look for that gem by letting stillness set. We never notice how much our mind is churning inside until we pause for a while, relax and try to focus. You will find you either doze off or become restless. All people who meditate for the first time will face these experiences. You need to develop patience(khanti in Pali), after sometime your mind will settle down and you will have focus and eventually - clarity.
Ommmmmm patience!
This is a wonderful comment -
wise & compassionate-
a worthy read!
Fanned & Fav'd
“A bit of meditation, a bit of quiet consideration, and we all come to realize that the things we can’t take with us are not nearly so worthy of our investment—restoring, protecting, maintaining—as is our state of health and our state of mind."http://www.marklfuerst.com/blog/2012/03/16/invest-in-yourself-not-derivatives/
fanned & fav'd
I recently had a very tangible experience of this when I was visiting LA. I hadn't been there for a while, so I went down to Venice beach and took in all the craziness there, then I ventured up Santa Monica Blvd through typical LA traffic. My last stop was the Vedanta Temple in West LA, a temple dedicated to Ramakrishna and Vivekananda. The stark contrast between the insanity I had just experienced, and the viscous calm energy in the temple that one could breathe in and wash away the thinking mind and bodily tensions, was a clear lesson in the efficacy of meditation and the importance of making room for the sacred in life.
it still remains a special moment in my life!
msimp0108
we too always have a sanctuary where we meditate in our house -
wherever we live we have a place to sit & be still -
Joyfully,
Ed
from Afghanistan through Pakistan down & into India!
It was like being on a foreign planet
I hope viewers read this comment!
Valuable enriching & gosh so good!
luvluv what you say here:
"all the difficulty arises from not acknowledging the actual problem which is at the root of suffering, and that is our addiction to suffering, that we choose suffering over bliss, amazingly enough, except for those "lucky" enough to have exhaused all the excuses as to why we deserve to keep eating our own s**t/suffering."
Fanned & Fav'd
You are not alone -
we are al-one :-)
Fanned & Fav'd
looking at the tree,
the leaves, trunk
or the moving of the branches
the unseen force
or why waste the time
seeing the abstraction
of branches meandering
skyward, for what purpose
is it needed to be known
the tree is a hundred years
aged, the storms, the rains,
the winters, the springs,
majestic singularity continuum
remains free from the fire side
and where to begin
the wondering across this meadow
filled with springs flowers
or to see the explosions
of color in the morning sun
and to smell a thousand scents
upon the breeze
and feel the calmness in the heart
and where to begin
stopping to watch
the rythmic flow of grasses
springs awakening, earth alive
and where to begin
reaching the end of the path
while with the focused thought
begins the new journey.
Rolf KrogsætherC.2012
so good!
Rolf -
Many thanks!
this a gift to all that reads it!
each & every word!
fanned & fav'd!
"Refuse to let anything except the truth and love own your heart and mind."
Life is a precious gift!
Treasure yourself!
Ed
It's really funny to have people argue about New Age fads and fashions roughly 3000 after it so happened that some people realized that there's a better way to manage stress (and some other things...)
#6 you betcha! :-))
Like what you say here:
"It's really funny to have people argue about New Age fads and fashions roughly 3000 after it so happened that some people realized that there's a better way to manage stress (and some other things...) "