It is now being proven scientifically that a happy and healthy outlook to both ourselves and to life affects our mind in many noticeable ways. We do not get such a mindset by ignoring or denying negative feelings and pretending to be happy. Rather, we do it by becoming a good gardener, methodically and carefully removing the weeds of discontent while cultivating beautiful flowers.
Qualities such as kindness, compassion and forgiveness are the seeds we want to plant in order to cultivate a beautiful garden. But the self-centered ego's need for grasping, gaining and selfishness easily buries them. We are all capable of losing our cool, getting caught up in hot emotions and causing harm. When we only focus on our own concerns and problems we become too self-engrossed to really acknowledge anyone else's issues. These are the weeds we need to pull up, as are moments of closed-heartedness or anger, self-doubt and insecurity. We can bring mercy and tenderness to those places, to the wounded parts, so the fight within us can come to an end. And when we step beyond ourselves, then the ability to cultivate kind and caring qualities becomes possible.
When Ed was going through a difficult patch in his life he realized that he was stuck in his mind, which felt like being stuck in a paper bag. He had nowhere to go, just caught up in his own issues. It was like his mind was overcome by weeds, with no flowers to be found. He finally realized that our true mind is like the sky. Just as the sky has storms, wind, rain, and tornadoes, but is not affected by these things, so our true mind has worries, upsets and fears, but need not be affected by them.
In our recent book, BE THE CHANGE, we interviewed over 100 inspired people in all walks of life who verify the importance of transforming anger and self-negation into acceptance and generosity. Among them is scientist Richard Davidson who, along with the Dalai Lama and psychologist Daniel Goleman, has opened the Center for Investigating Healthy Minds, at the University of Wisconsin-Madison. Here, a team of researchers will study such qualities as kindness, compassion and forgiveness, and how they affect the brain. The fact that such brilliant people have established this center highlights the importance of developing positive thinking versus maintaining negative thinking, such as self-dislike, anger and hatred.
Meditation is hugely important in this. In fact, kindness and compassion are such clear outcomes of meditation that there is now an overwhelming amount of research showing how meditation stimulates the circuits in the brain associated with contentment, happiness and the feel-good factor. Dr Davidson has scientifically studied Buddhist monks while they were meditating. When asked to focus on compassion, their brains reflected a remarkable generation of clarity and intensified kindness. The center is probably the only place in the world where there is a meditation room next to the lab!
"By training the mind, we can actually change the brain toward greater contentment," says Dr. Davidson in Be The Change, How Meditation Can Transform You and the World. "There is certainly evidence to show that meditation practices designed to cultivate compassion and loving kindness change the brain in many positive ways."
A regular practice of meditation can produce discernible changes in the brain in a matter of just eight weeks, which indicates that we can quite purposefully and systematically develop qualities such as kindness and compassion. 'Be Good and Do Good' is a great mantra for this!
To feel the difference in yourself try the practice below, or one of our meditation CD's.
Pulling Weeds Meditation
Find a comfortable and upright place to sit. Take a few deep breaths, then watch the flow of your breath as it enters and leaves.
Now bring your focus to your heart, and as you breathe in feel as if your heart is opening and softening; as you breathe out, release any tension or resistance.
Now visualize yourself walking in a beautiful but overgrown garden. All sorts of colorful flowers surround you, but among them are numerous weeds.
You find a place to sit amidst the plants and with awareness you mindfully begin to remove the weeds. Each one represents a negative aspect of yourself or your life. Name it as you remove it, and watch it leave your mind as you discard.
The more weeds you remove the lighter you feel, as if a weight is being removed from you. As you do this, the flowers are growing stronger and brighter.
Stay here as long as you like. You may not have time to pull up all the weeds, so before you leave promise that you will be back again to remove some more.
When you are ready, silently repeat three times, "May I be happy, may my mind be like a beautiful garden." Take a deep breath and let it go. Then fill the rest of your day with kindness and smiles.
What weeds do you need to pull out of your garden? Do comment below. You can receive notice of our blogs every Tuesday by checking Become a Fan at the top.
You can learn more in our award-winning book: BE THE CHANGE, How Meditation Can Transform You and the World, or from our three meditation CD's.
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Enjoy our Friday weekly blogs on Oprah.com/spirit
Our latest book won the 2010 Nautilus Gold Book Award: BE THE CHANGE, How Meditation Can Transform You And The World, forewords by the Dalai Lama and Robert Thurman, with contributors Marianne Williamson, Jane Fonda, Ram Dass, Byron Katie, Dan Millman, Michael Beckwith and others.
Our 3 meditation CD's: Metta--Loving kindness and Forgiveness; Samadhi-Breath Awareness and Insight; and Yoga Nidra-Inner Conscious Relaxation, are available at: www.EdandDebShapiro.com
Follow Ed and Deb Shapiro on Twitter: www.twitter.com/edanddebshapiro
Wray Herbert: The Unexpected Rewards of 'Nearby Nature'
Meditation - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Meditation: Take a stress-reduction break wherever you are ...
Stephanie Howard: Discovering meditation's role in exercise.
Lovely.
In the early 80s I threw black stones and white stones from a gorgeous look-out-point in Arizona; and, thru the years I've revisited that experience. Never again. . .
Today, and hence forth, I'm a gardner--such a lovely and soothing change.
can you kindly explain a bit more?
Cheers, Ed
your comment is short & sweet!
Treasure Yourself,
Ed
Much appreciation for your comment and observation :-)
In the dharma
Ed
just because you are kind or compassionate doesn't mean you cannot be strong- hold your own and kick butt! :-))
being kind etc. doesn't mean being a pushover -
Ed
I will be back to you - have a meeting now! Ed
Couldn't agree with you more- I love what you say here-
"we can change our personality if it has been less than what is expected of an rational human being by 'sifting' the mind of immoral or irrational thoughts through meditation. This frees the mind of 'garbage' and making us have more 'cleaner' lifestyle and better social relationships being experienced among family members, colleagues or friends, business partners etc.
In Joy-
BE THE CHANGE - MEDITATE
Ed
Right now, the weed in most need of pulling is apprehension and doubt. I'm moving forward with my plans but it feels like I'm biting off too much. I'll feel better about it as soon as I gain confidence. Apparently, I've already done some good psychic gardening. I just went through something that would have previously sent me into panic and kept my wits about me. I'm sure it is because I take the time to meditate even when I feel like I'm zooming too much to sit and breathe quietly.
Thanks for the awesome analogy.
your friend,
little brother
i will get back to replying - have an appointment now :-) big love - Ed
It's cool. Take care of yourself. Get back with me with next week's column.
Peace,
little brother
when Buddha was sitting in meditation just about awakening to the highest joy - Para Nirvana- Enlightenment --- Mara- his mind - challenged him trying to impose doubt saying - "what right do you have to be Enlightened?" Buddha touched the ground and said. "may the earth bear witness I deserve to be Enlightened!" and goes on to explain!
Do meditate it allows space around situations and wisdom to emerge -
just know - YOU CAN'T MISS! :-))
Ed
These are just my point of views. I don't garden :) I just wanted to contribute to benefit others. Take care and many blessings! Thanks for posting.
totally agree with you! great wisdom! all your points have great merit!
Much metta- in the dharma
Jygpo - EdS
Sometimes they "get it" and replant, sometimes they leave those negative seeds sown, much to my sadness... and we await the harvest in it's own time.
Thanks again or another beautiful visual.
Michelle
you sound like a caring mom- we all need positive roll models when we are growing up -
life i precious gift!
Ed
You are a jewel in the heart of the lotus1
making other feel good - so keep smiling :-)
ya can't lose
Enjoy the journey-
Ed
happiness,
pema
don't you just know it! :->)
out of your mind- the only place to be! -
BUT if the drugs do help - I do hope the pharmaceuticals are beneficial - no one should have to suffer!
Treasure yourself, Ed
Great post and great topic!
k
Honesty is the best policy - we all have weeds - as HH the Dalai Lama said to us
"Everyday I check my motivation" - we do need to tend to our garden as weeds can pop up without a moments notice!
Big Love - Ed
My comment just got whisked away into the ethers.... What a beautiful post! I love the gardening images. Gardens do have weeds. We can pull them out to see the beauty of the flowers more clearly. Great image. And super meditation too.
Thank you!
I am the change,
Anne
what a beautiful garden we would have :-)
Ed
Create an FB page!!
Warm hugs to you both,
Anne
Meditation is mainly responsible for changing me from the in-your-face, angry, aggressive, chip-on-your shoulder bitch that I was to whatever I am now. And it's focussing on positive values that did it.
I chose love a few years ago and meditated on it every day for 2 years - after that I "happened" to find a small old publication in my bookshelf by Deepak Chopra that I'd never read and in it he suggested a list of values to practise each day which I chose at random and wrote it in huge red letters on my door and in my heart from abundance, joy, peace, hope, trust, happiness, etc. And that's what I've been doing ever since really. 2010 is my year for compassion.
My challenge right now is impatience since I accepted 4 weeks ago the new and unforeseen turning my life has just taken and I can't wait to get on with it.
LUV the imagery for this meditation too. I popped into mind as I woke this morning... really beautiful.
Thank you both.
Catherine
You are an inspiration to many people with your honest and heartfelt comments-
how wonderful that you were able to transform - as you put it -
"Meditation is mainly responsible for changing me from the in-your-face, angry, aggressive, chip-on-your shoulder bitch that I was to whatever I am now. And it's focusing on positive values that did it."
do see - tomorrow- and do comment on our blog on
Oprah.com/spirit
In the spirit- Ed
What a beautiful and elegant way to describe this process of self-transformation we are all engaged in. I find the weeds of habitual thoughts, emotions, and memories drag me down into darkness--all for no other reason than habit! Mistaking myself for these habits, I make myself miserable just because it's the easiest thing to do....
Planting the seeds of happiness: consciously repeating the thoughts that I choose to lift me up into the light!
You guys are amazing! Thanks for your dedication to making the world a more loving place!
William
Thank you for your dear comment - you make me heart open even more- life really is a gift and I only hope people get it- it's so easy to pass it by and wonder what was that all about-
You are one of the treasures of the HuffPost community
Ed