Ironically, the holiday season can be most stressful time of the year. Just imagine you are trying to squeeze some toothpaste out of a tube but you have forgotten to take the cap off. What happens? Deb actually did this in one of her most unaware moments and the toothpaste soon found another way out through the bottom of the tube and got all over her. It will force a hole in the side or wherever is the weakest point.
Now imagine that the tube of toothpaste is you, under pressure and beginning to experience psychological or emotional stress. But you don't take your lid off, as it were, by recognizing what is happening and making time to relax or deal with your inner conflicts.
So what happens to the mental or emotional stress building up inside? In her book Your Body Speaks Your Mind, Deb shows how eventually it has to find a way out and if it can't come out through the top, as it were, by being expressed and resolved, it will come out somewhere else, whether through your digestion, nerves, immune system, behavior or sleep patterns. Repressed or ignored stress can manifest as depression, addiction or anxiety; projected outwards it can become hostility, aggression, prejudice or fear.
We have built into our physiology a fight-or-flight response that enables us to respond to danger if, for instance, we are on the front line of a battle or facing a large bear. The battle may be with your teenage son and bears tend to come in a variety shapes and sizes, such as impatient and angry holiday shoppers. Seemingly unimportant events can even cause a stress reaction, as the brain is unable to tell the difference between real and imagined threats: if you focus on your concern about what might happen it plays as much havoc with your hormones and chemical balance as it does in a real situation.
But we all respond differently to circumstances: a divorce may be a big stressor for one but it may be a welcome relief to another. The difference lies in our response, for although we may have little or no control over the circumstances we are dealing with, we do have control over our reaction to them.
In other words, the cause of stress is not as much the external circumstances, such as having too many demands and not enough time to fill them, as it is our perception of the circumstances as being overwhelming; and our perception of our ability to cope, as when you feel stretched beyond what you perceive yourself to be capable of.
What you believe will color your every thought, word and action. As cell biologist Bruce Lipton says in his book, The Biology of Belief:
Our responses to environmental stimuli are indeed controlled by perceptions, but not all of our learned perceptions are accurate. Not all snakes are dangerous! Yes, perception "controls" biology, but... these perceptions can be true or false. Therefore, we would be more accurate to refer to these controlling perceptions as beliefs. Beliefs control biology!
In other words, believing that it is your work, family or lifestyle that is causing you stress and that if you could only change these in some way then you would be fine, is seeing the situation from the wrong perspective. It is the belief that something out there is causing you stress that is causing the stress. And, although changing the circumstances certainly may help, invariably, no matter what you do, it is a change within your belief system and perception of yourself that will make the biggest difference.
Try It Yourself
If you find yourself feeling stressed, take 10 minutes to breathe more deeply. Most people who are tense breathe short, shallow breaths into the upper part of their chest. If you take slower breaths and deepen your breathing into your belly, the stress will dissolve.
Then find an affirmation that works for you to shift perceptions and belief patterns and to reinforce your strengths, such as: "My mind is at ease and I am capable of doing everything," or "With every breath I am more relaxed and flowing through my day with ease."
How do you deal with stress? Do comment below. You can receive notice of our blogs every Thursday by checking Become a Fan at the top.
Deb is the author of the award-winning Your Body Speaks Your Mind, Decoding the Emotional, Psychological, and Spiritual Messages That Underlie Illness.
Also see our award-winning book: Be the Change, How Meditation Can Transform You and the World, forewords by the Dalai Lama and Robert Thurman, with contributors Jack Kabat-Zinn, Byrone Katie, Jane Fonda, Marianne Williamson and many others.
"If there is one book you read about meditation, Be The Change should be the one. Hear about some of the cool people who are doing it and why you should do it too." -- Sharon Gannon, founder Jivamukti Yoga.
Our 3 meditation CDs: Metta -- Loving kindness and Forgiveness; Samadhi -- Breath Awareness and Insight; and Yoga Nidra -- Inner Conscious Relaxation, are available at: www.EdandDebShapiro.com
Follow Ed and Deb Shapiro on Twitter: www.twitter.com/edanddebshapiro
Dr. Phil McGraw: Holiday Advice
Therese Borchard: Holiday Stress: 6 Ways To Deal With Difficult Family Members During The Holidays
Laura Munson: Why I'm Not Micromanaging Christmas This Year
Relieve Holiday Stress With Yoga
Michael McCartan: Don't let stress dampen your holiday enjoyment
Pay Cash and the stress worry will not plague you and if unable to pay cash do not use your credit card but instead go to the used shops to find what you need for comfort.
Money, money money what is so funny
in a stressless world
and the rich mans' world.
Marry Christmas.
Happy Xmas!
When veterans with PTSD learn TM, they sometimes have an aha! moment that is very touching to hear them retell:
http://dlfÂ.tv/2010/bÂan-burks/
After forty one years as a working builder, architect, my body finally said enough. I have developed spinal stenosis which is in the lumbar area. There are protocols which can take the pain away so it is good. My wife asked me what I thought this meant and I replied karma. This is a remedial action by the Master for all of the pain I have caused other people in this or other lifetimes and as such it is a true blessing.
"Problems cannot be solved on the same level of consciousness that created them". A. Einstein.
Blessings, Thomas
"life's a beach & then you die!" :-))
Happy Holiday's
Thomas
Happy Holiday's
My comment back to Maharishi Mahesh Yog's insight that "stress" in English translates pretty closely to "sanskara" in Sanskrit.
Our inability to cope with stress is what draws us out of the moment, IOW, keeps us from being enlightened. And stress is accumulative, so it tends to get worse, the more stress we fail to recover from. PTSD is merely an extreme example.
When veterans with PTSD learn TM, they sometimes have an aha! moment that is very touching to hear them retell:
http://dlf.tv/2010/ban-burks/
"as my doc said
("you are going to need to go within,")
i should have said what else is there, but didn't.
actually no need to say anything! :-))
Happy Holiday's Arithrianos
Let sleeping snakes lie. :)
Actually, if you are walking along a trail in the woods and hear some rustling in the bushes nearby don't bother to seek out the cause. It is probably just a frightened snake trying to get away from a perceived danger. After all, no one likes getting stepped on.
BTW, great article.
Lucky we are not snakes :-))
I said to Avis the nun:
when we die we can meet up in heaven.
she replied:
& we will say to each other: 'what was that all about'!
Merry Christmas, Deb and Ed!
May all things go well for you!
may your New Year be bright!
Thanks for this helpful blog. What a good point.
A lot of people, at work, laugh at the slightest thing probably to release stress. I wonder how they do it.
As for the toothpaste …. Now that you mention it I used to have intermittent phantom pains. They were random and not associated with anything, as far as I could tell. Just recently, I noticed that they seemed to stopped occurring. Maybe because I haven't been paying attention to them.
Coincidentally, I have recently had life show me that I am not the man I used to be. It seems two years of living in this small Thai village have affected a metamorphosis.
Well, it could just be that I'm not longer slaloming between catharsis after catharsis. Still a few bumps along the way, but no huge moguls between the poles and the slopes are considerably more gradual.
& will be back!
I went scuba diving in Koh Tao
Did a meditation retreat at Suan Mukh Monastery with Achan Po- wonderful being!
Have a happy holiday!
Ed