What Buddha Might Say To Bill O'Reilly

What's with Bill O'Reilly? He does not seem to know what he is saying!

Ed was at a Dalai Lama talk in London when the Dalai Lama said, "People say to me they are concerned about the Tibetan people. I say to them I am not concerned about the Tibetan people, they always have a smile on their faces. I am concerned about the Chinese because they do not know what they are doing."

In the same way Bill O'Reilly, you are saying things that are hurtful, hateful, untrue, and steeped in ignorance. You said Helen Thomas is the wicked witch of the East. It is shameful to say this about a classy lady who is the best in her business and a legend of her time.

You will not be punished for your anger; you will be punished by your anger. The Buddha

There is an extraordinarily deluded belief that what we think, say or do will have no affect on us. That we can get angry, be rude, shout, put people down, incite anger in others, be totally disrespectful, and that afterward we can just walk away scot free, without there being any impact in our own life.

But it isn't quite like that.

We cannot hurt someone or something else unless we are in pain ourselves. It is that simple. When Deb was in a not very good mood (it does happen!) she went to run a bath and found a spider in the bathtub. In that moment she was confronted with a choice: to take the time to get the spider out or to flush it down the drain. In a good mood you will take the time to get a spider out of the bath or to let a fly out of the window. But if you are in a bad space then how easy it is to flush the spider. (Deb got it out.)

In other words, inner torment will spill over and harm anyone or anything in its way. A single match can burn down an entire forest. This means that if someone causes hurt it is invariably because they are themselves in pain: a person who is wounded is one who enjoys wounding others, a person who hates themselves takes pleasure in hating others. A person who loves themselves will love others.

But do remember when we point a finger at another there are 3 fingers pointing back at us. When we put that hate into the world it will inevitably find its way back to us and we become the hated.

Some may believe that an angry person is angry and that's that, it is just human nature. But we can let go and transform the hatefulness. We can move out of a self-centered and self-obsessed way of being, to becoming aware of others and our inter-connectedness. We are not an angry person, just a person that is angry.

Hatred does not cease by hatred, but only by love; this is the eternal rule. The Buddha

Bill O'Reilly appears to be guided by bitterness and a dislike of life. He defends his ego and attacks others. Perhaps he has never experienced the joy of an open heart, of giving and caring for others, of unconditional love. But he does provide us with the opportunity to practice tolerance and forbearance.

The Buddha taught we should never put anyone out of our heart.

Here is a loving kindness meditation that we can do for those people (such as Bill O'Reilly) we are having difficulty or conflict with:

Take a few minutes to settle your body and relax. Then begin by focusing on the rhythm of your breath while also bringing your attention to the heart space in the center of your chest. Now begin to develop loving kindness towards someone you are having a hard time with: whether a friend, relative or colleague. Anyone where communication is not flowing and there are misunderstandings.

Keep breathing out any resistance and breathing in softness and openness as you hold this person in your heart and repeat, May you be well, may you be happy, may all things go well for you, may you be peaceful. Do not get caught up in recalling the story or the details. Hold them gently and tenderly, wishing them wellness and happiness. After 10-15 minutes, take a deep breath and let it go. Take this with you throughout your day.

Who do you have difficulty with and need to bring loving kindness to? Can you bring Bill O'Reilly into your heart? Do let us know!

***

Ed and Deb Shapiro are authors of over 15 books, and lead meditation retreats and workshops. Deb is the author of the award-winning book Your Body Speaks Your Mind. They are corporate consultants, and the creators of Chillout daily inspirational text messages on Sprint cell phones. See their website: www.EdandDebShapiro.com.

Comments

[JustAThought56]

A monk who had been held in prison for many years by the Chinese met with the Dalai Lama after he was released. He told the DL there were times he was in great danger. The DL was confused and asked "In danger of what?" The monk answered "In danger of losing my compassion for the Chinese!"

Participating on these boards feels righteous and just, but it is not the way. Engaging in confrontation only strengthens the illusion of self, which thrives on any human conflict that supports the false belief in "other."

The "self" that I erroneously identify with struggles with what it see as the dangerous narrow-mindedness of people like O'Reilly, and finds it all too easy to be pulled into the fray, opposing beliefs and ideology by countering it with my own. This only solidifies the deluded belief in "self," continuing the samsara that traps us all.

Time and again we have seen that opposition is based in ignorance, and the only real remedy for human suffering is to bear witness to the fear and hope that underlies it from true presence and the compassionate wisdom that is our birthright.

There is a saying that there are two ways to win at tug of war, and one way is to let go of the rope.

[Ed and Deb Shapiro - Huffpost Blogger]

JustAThought56 Brilliant and thoughtful comment-

We have been fortunate to have a private audience with the Dalai Lama and to write 2 books that he was a contributor.

He walks his talk.

Bill O'Reilly unfortunately is steeped in ignorance and misguided by a toxic ego. He doesn't know what he is doing.

May he wake up and if he doesn't maybe he will next time around.

Life is a mystery ever unfolding,

Ed

[superfrog]

I think Bill O Reilly is a very angry person. I have a great deal of compassion for bill because i see angre as a form of mental illness. my personal philosophy is to love the person but denounce the behavior. Bill O Reillys behavior is wrong he should be more mindfull of his speech and the harm it causes to himself and others.

[Ed and Deb Shapiro - Huffpost Blogger]

superfrog- This is an interesting perspective - beneath anger we often find fear, pain, grief and insecurity.

I agree with you about loving the person but not the behavior with the idea that the person will wake up and see that what they are saying and doing is creating suffering and hopefully they will change.

Thank you for your comment,

May all beings be happy and free from suffering,

Ed

[tubette]

While I don't agree with Bill O on any subject, I must say I do not feel he is filled with hatred. He has been fair to Obama as any right wing guy could ever be. He has said he thinks people who want Obama to fail, such as Rush, are way wrong. Yes, it was mean to say what he did about Helen Thomas, but he was trying ( unsuccessfully) to be funny. While I believe he has many issues, I don't think Buddha would spend the time to bash him. He is on a journey as we all are . I have never heard the Dalai Lama go on a personal attack.

And when you listen to people who are more extreme than him, such as Hannity, Ann Coulter, or Rush, you can feel a huge difference.

"But do remember when we point a finger at another there are 3 fingers pointing back at us."

I agree with nerakami .........

[Ed and Deb Shapiro - Huffpost Blogger]

tubette- thank you for your comment- it is compassionate of you to speak up
- this article is about compassion and loving kindness -- I hope you saw the metta loving kindness meditation at the end of the blog.
I do disagree with you about Bill O'Reilly . Actually I have followed him for many years and I have seen him being Mr. nasty. We nor anyone can really say what the Buddha would do or say --we humourous said what he MIGHT say-- only as a teaching. I have sat alone with HH the Dalai Lama and he has spoken in public and personally about the atrocities the Chinese have committed.
tubette- you are pointing fingers in your comment- be aware of the 3 fingers point back

In the dharma, Jygme Powa (Ed)

[tubette]

Please help me understand then. Let me be clear I don't care for the man, but I have , as you, been following Bill O for years as well. But unlike you I have not been with HH the Dalai Lama so I am at a disadvantage.

I am not trying to point fingers, but trying to understand how you can say this...

"In the same way Bill O'Reilly, you are saying things that are hurtful, hateful, untrue, and steeped in ignorance. You said Helen Thomas is the wicked witch of the East. It is ..........

and you are not pointing fingers, but if I repeat what you said I am......

Is it ok to point fingers if you feel you are right? Just trying to understand, seriously.

I do understand this is about compassion and loving kindness and I have been trying to give that to a person I didn't like or agree with. Is it wrong that I don't think he is filled with hate even though I don't like him or that I just didn't get so worked up over it??? Yes, I too have seen his nastiness. But I have seen it from the left as well.

I appreciate your thoughts and your pointing out that you think I am pointing fingers because I quoted what you said about pointing fingers. But when you accuse me of pointing fingers, aren't you pointing fingers as well?

[Ed and Deb Shapiro - Huffpost Blogger]

I believe it is ok to be yourself-

if your intention is pure and is not coming from the 3 poisons- greed, hate and delusion- and you are seeing things clearly and not ego-centric calling a spade a spade is real.

Saying that -- I hold Bill O'Reilly in loving kindness and compassion. It doesn't mean i don't think he is a creep.
We are living in relative reality we have to be careful not to be too 'love and lighty.'

I hope that I am clear, Cheers- Ed

[LAnancy]

Hey there - Thanks again for the words of wisdom. It is odd but it seems the whole Republican mentality gets me more stirred up than close relationships. These people I don't even know can disturb my sense of peace more than anything. It's been this way since G. Bush. In the early part of his reign, I realized I needed to address this and I did a meditation very close to the one you talk about and I continue. I truly believe that this fear based retoric they endorse comes from ignorance and their own fear. So I know not to buy into it and instead send them light and love. Otherwise, I become just like them. The Nietzsche quote "Be careful who you choose for an enemy because that's who you become most like." Soft, gentle, understanding is the choice I try to make. I'm just tooo old to fight in that way.

[Ed and Deb Shapiro - Huffpost Blogger]

LAnancy- Great to hear from you. Your comment is great- I like the Nietzsche quote:

"Be careful who you choose for an enemy because that's who you become most like."

It is very helpful to have people in our lives that test our ability to stay centered and peaceful. It makes us stronger. I love Byron Katie who we interviewed for our new book out in October 2009. Katie says:
"If someone is yelling at you let them yell- it makes them happy.

In the dharma,

Ed

[Jonahson]

Pt4
If you can connect loving kindness in the teachings of any religion you are on the right path. Buddhism is just a label. The teachings of the Buddha is about universal qualities. It is about goodness everyone can recognize.
I hope you have fun reading this.
I would appreciate if Dep and Ed could correct any mistake I’ve made in this comment.
May you be well and happy.

[Ed and Deb Shapiro - Huffpost Blogger]

Jonahson I enjoyed reading this -- Buddha wasn't a Buddhist, Jesus wasn't a Christian etc.

They realized the truth within. Jesus said the kingdom of heaven is within. What all the realized ones are saying and represent is that if they can wake up-- see their true nature-- so can we.

My religion is Undoism (ha) undo it all--there is no solid "me" In yoga it is said that our true nature is:
Sat- existence---chid --knowledg­e---ananda­--bliss

Enjoy the journey,

Ed

[Jonahson]

Pt3
If you can He changed but not you because you remember him as a so and so person. You also have no way knowing that he has changed.
Loving kindness meditation goes deep into your heart to make that change. Bad habits are difficult to overcome we often try to justify our actions. It takes a lot of patient, mindfulness and constant polishing off those dirt from the lamp glass so that the bright light can shine. The bright light is always there just remove the dirt.
Every person you dislike must be brought before your mind and you spread loving kindness to that person. In the beginning it may feel a bit of a hypocrite when you don’t feel like loving(non sexual please) that person but through sincere, heart felt practice you will feel the change the change both ways. Don’t torture, blame or punish yourself or anyone for that matter, just have perseverance and forgiveness every time you fail.
Before you even start practicing you must have a wish for change.
“The journey of a thousand mile start with the first step so to become a Buddha star with a simple wish.”

[Ed and Deb Shapiro - Huffpost Blogger]

well done -- beautifully put!

[Jonahson]

Pt2
It is not so bad on the road since you may not see the same guy again but what if it happens in the office (of course not the middle finger but maybe an un agreeable word), someone you will meet almost every day. What if it is someone you live together with?




“It takes one to know another.” Before I looked into myself and reflected on my deeds and thoughts, I used to think that that was a stupid phrase invented by someone who doesn’t know what he’s talking about. Now I find that phrase is a gem, a teacher. If you recognize that person as a certain so and so, you keep his negative traits as an unpleasant experience. Whenever you see him on telly, read about him or discus with your friends you can only refer to your unpleasant experience of that person. What if that person did change one day, growing old he gets lonely and realize his ego gives him no comfort he becomes a born again religious person or on his dead bed he confess.

[Ed and Deb Shapiro - Huffpost Blogger]

Deb and I were teaching near Dublin in Ireland. We were leading a 5 day retreat.

One of the ladies on our retreat had a job where her boss was always finding fault with her. It was getting unbearable. We taught Pat a loving kindness meditation that holds her boss in her heart. Every time her boss would approach, Pat would say --
"My she be Well. May she be Happy, May she be at Peace. One day her boss sat down with her and told her how bad things were at home."

Joyfully,

Ed

[Jonahson]

Pt.1
Hi Dep And Ed, wonderful blog by your compassion you manage to guide your friends to realize hatred and gift them with the antidote! The gift of dharma excels all gifts.
I shall share with some of your readers what little insight I realized on loving kindness.
Why practice loving kindness?
What Dep and Ed mentioned on the meditation of loving kindness is actually to transform your mind of those habitual thoughts by teaching yourself to practice good habits. When we perceive things we do so by reference to our stored experiences. For example while driving, someone doesn’t like your driving and shows you his middle finger and you react, just a nasty thought only. This reaction is registered as an unpleasant experience, so if you remember the guy’s face or car reg. number and if you happened to see the same guy in the supermarket the next day what would be your response? Unpleasant of course because of your unpleasant input. More often we don’t see the same guy the next day and you had stored some useless information in your mind. Does this affect you in the future? Yes, because your response will become habitual.

[Ed and Deb Shapiro - Huffpost Blogger]

Hi Jonahson- Wonderful to hear from you and thanks for sharing your wisdom-it's SPOT ON

The habitual mind, or untamed monkey is the cause of so much suffering. It is difficult to handle and leads us amok.
This world is like a magnet drawing the mind outward. The distractions are to numerous- an undisciplined mind is like a mine field.
The mind or ego is a perfect servant but a terrible master.

Life is a gift - treasure it-

Ed

[LMPE]

Buddha would have to agree with Keith Olbermann and call Billo the worst person in the world.

[Ed and Deb Shapiro - Huffpost Blogger]

LMPE- Thanks for your comment -The difference is that Keith Olbermann is not acting as a Buddha-

Let's say the Buddha would agree with Keith -
The difference would be that the Buddha would radiate & hold him in loving kindness and compassion
he would know that all people were capable of being a Bill O'Reilly if they were in his shoes.
The Buddha would forgive him and see the Buddha is inside even Bill O'Reilly --
as Buddha means to wake up--there is a Buddha in us all.

May all people wake up and be happy--

Ed

[JLThom]

Thank you for this.

[Ed and Deb Shapiro - Huffpost Blogger]

JLThom- you are welcome

Sometimes 4 words can say a mountain

Peace,

Ed

[neoconJesusBrain]

Buda was a big fat tree hugger who didn't know squat. Bodi this.

[Ed and Deb Shapiro - Huffpost Blogger]

neoconJesusBrain- I would think Jesus would say this- as we are all gods loving children

Budhha was actually very thin

when you point fingers 3 are pointing back to you--

don't you think we all can be a bit more kinder?

May all people be peaceful,

Ed

[Arithrianos]

wow, misspelling and ignorance all wrapped into a neat package. FYI it's Buddha and Bodhi, and Buddha wasn't a fat chinese man, i know shock isn't it, he was a slim indian man. As for not knowing squat, well at least he knew that there is no smallest unit, that everything is made of "parts", just like the quantum physics says now. Really it is not helpful to attack someone elses ignorance from a position of ignorance, it only adds to the confusion. If you believe Buddha was wrong, bring out specific examples please.

[Ed and Deb Shapiro - Huffpost Blogger]

I meant to say

neoconJesusBrain- I would think Jesus would not say what you said do you?

- as we are all gods loving children

Jesus according to my understanding was loving

Be happy and kind, heaven is within

Ed

[AndiG]

Ah...how refreshing!!! To actually wish loving kindness to those we may be having difficulty with in some capacity..­.it lifts the spirit to tell a different "story" and to feel it from the heart. That's what this is really about...be­ginning to tell a different story! Just for fun let's imagine Bill O'Riley interviewing the Dalai Lama. Great blog Ed & Deb...many thanks!!!

[Ed and Deb Shapiro - Huffpost Blogger]

Hi AndiG- You are always a loving person I think you should have a talk with Mr. O'Reilly your warm energy is bound to lift his spirit and put some sense in him-

In Buddhism wishing well for someone you don't like is called mudita - be joyfully for another even if you are envious etc.

Living with love,

Ed

[soundheals]

Great topic and great writing as usual. I think the really big subject your are subtly referring to is how easy it is to generate notariety and fame on this planet using the energies of anger and fear. What seems to be so unfortunate and difficult is that most perople operating out of anger and fear are totally oblivious to the fact that they are doing so. No matter what you might say or how you might say it, if these people are having success by operating out of anger and fear, why should they stop? I believe the greatest thing that we could do as a global consciousness is simply not support people who are acting in this manner--if we don't "fuel" their fire, it will ultimately go out.
Blessings of Light & Love through Sound!
Jonathan

[Ed and Deb Shapiro - Huffpost Blogger]

Great perspective Jonathan - your point is well made-

No matter what you might say or how you might say it, if these people are having success by operating out of anger and fear, why should they stop?
It's interesting to note that only when things get bad do we look at what we are doing.

We can also hold them in compassion and wish them well and that they change their ways.
We all have skeletons in our closets.

may you sound yourself to Nirvana,
Ed

[katzimmer]

The idea of loving kindness is something that we might consider using in place of "turning the other cheek"--to just ignore people like Bill O'Reilly is doing ourselves an injustice. Thanks for writing this!

[Ed and Deb Shapiro - Huffpost Blogger]

Thank you katzimmer- you are quite right. There is wisdom in sening loving kindness to people like Bill O'Reilly as they are suffering deeply within.

May all beings be happy and free from suffering,

Ed

[Anne Naylor - Huffpost Blogger]

Beautiful post, Ed - thank you! And I appreciated very much the meditation at the end.

You know the saying: Every knock's a boost. I have another to do with every time we witness a person in a negative state of mind, we have an opportunity to express more love. Makes for a sweeter world!

Blessings to you,
Anne

[Ed and Deb Shapiro - Huffpost Blogger]

Hi Anne, Thanks - It's always good to hear from you- kindness always shines from your comment- today is no exception-

When Deb and I encounter a negative situation (it can happen when driving where people tend to be the rudest)

we say, "may they be well, may they drive safely, may things go well for them."

Enjoy the journey,

Ed

[Ed and Deb Shapiro - Huffpost Blogger]

I am glad you noticed and took time with the meditation at the end.

It is so meaningful and beneficial for people to have a loving kindness practice because it awakens the heart of love and compassion within us all.

As our attention is always external we can at times lose touch with our essential nature.

Treasure yourself,

Ed