What is it about something as simple as sitting still and watching our breath that evokes panic, fear and even hostility? No matter how many reports there are proving the mental, emotional and physical value of being quiet, there seems to be an even greater number who refuse to give it a try.
Meditation can certainly be challenging, and even more so if we are uncertain as to why we are doing it. It can seem very odd to sit there just listening to the incessant chatter in our head, and we easily get bored if we do nothing for too long, even if it's only 10 minutes.
After years of hearing a plethora of reasons why people find it hard to meditate, we have whittled it down to just a few:
1) "I'm too busy; I don't have the time." This can certainly be true if you have young children and a full-time job, and all that these entail. However, we are only talking about maybe 10 minutes a day. Most of us spend more time than that reading the newspaper or idly surfing the web. It only appears like we don't have the time because we usually fill every moment with activity and never press the pause button.
2) "I find it really uncomfortable to sit still for too long." If you are trying to sit cross-legged on the floor then, yes, it will get uncomfortable. But you can sit upright in a firm, comfortable chair instead. Or, you can do walking meditation, or yoga or tai chi. Moving meditation can be just as beneficial as sitting.
3) "My mind won't stop thinking: I can't relax. I can't meditate. I just can't! My mind will not get quiet; it flies all over the place! My thoughts are driving me mad! I'm trying to get away from myself, not look inside." Sound familiar?
Surprisingly enough, trying to stop your mind from thinking is like trying to stop the wind -- it's impossible. In the Eastern teaching the mind is described as being like a drunken monkey bitten by a scorpion because, just as a monkey leaps from branch to branch, so the mind leaps from one thing to another, constantly distracted and busy. So, when you come to sit still and quiet your mind, you find all this manic activity going on, and it seems insanely noisy. It is actually nothing new, just that now you are becoming aware of it, whereas before you were immersed in it, unaware that such chatter was so constant.
This experience of the mind being so busy is very normal. Someone once estimated that in any one 30-minute session of meditation, we may have upward of 300 thoughts. Years of busy mind, years of creating and maintaining dramas, years of stresses and confusion and self-centeredness, and the mind has no idea how to be still. Rather, it craves entertainment. It's not as if you can suddenly turn it off when you meditate; it just means you are like everyone else.
4) "There are too many distractions; it's too noisy." Gone are the days when we could disappear into a cave and be left undisturbed until we emerged some time later fully enlightened. Instead, we all have to deal with the sounds and impositions of the world around us. But -- and it's a big but -- we needn't let it impose. Cars going by outside? Fine. Let them go by, but just don't go with them. The quiet you are looking for is inside, not outside. The experience of stillness is accumulative: The more you sit, then slowly, slowly, the mind becomes quieter, more joyful, despite whatever distraction there may be.
5) "I don't see the benefit." Unfortunately, this is where you have to take our word for it. Some people get how beneficial meditation is after just one session, but most of us take longer -- you might notice a difference after a week, or maybe two, of daily practice. This means you have to trust the process enough to hang in there and keep going, even before you get the benefits.
Remember, music needs to be played for hours to get the notes right, while in Japan it can take 12 years to learn how to arrange flowers. Being still happens in a moment, but it may take some time before that moment comes -- hence the need for patience.
6) "I'm no good at this; I never get it right." Actually, it's impossible to fail at meditation. Even if you sit for 20 minutes thinking non-stop meaningless thoughts, that's fine. There is no right or wrong, and there's no special technique. Deb's meditation teacher told her that there are as many forms of meditation as there are people who practice it. So all you need do is find the way that works for you (even if you prefer to do it standing on your head) and keep at it.
The important point is that you make friends with meditation. It'll be of no help at all if you feel you have to meditate, for instance, and then feel guilty if you miss the allotted time or only do 10 minutes when you had promised to do 30. It is much better to practice for a just a sort time and to enjoy what you are doing than to sit there, teeth gritted, because you've been told that only 30 or even 40 minutes will have any effect. Meditation is a companion to have throughout life, like an old friend you turn to when in need of support, inspiration and clarity. It is to be enjoyed!
7) "It's all just weird New Age hype." It's certainly easy to get lost in the array of New Age promises of eternal happiness, but meditation itself is as old as the hills. More than 2,500 years ago the Buddha was a dedicated meditator who tried and tested numerous different ways of enabling the mind to be quiet. And that's just one example. Each religion has its own variation on the theme, and all stretch back over the centuries. So nothing new here, and nothing weird or wacky.
In other words, meditation is not about forcing the mind to be absolutely still. Rather, it's a letting go of resistance, of whatever may arise: doubt, worry, uncertainty and feeling inadequate, the endless dramas, fear and desire. Every time you find your mind is drifting, daydreaming, remembering the past or planning ahead, just come back to now, come back to this moment. All you need do is pay attention and be with what is. Nothing else.
Does meditation work for you? Please comment below.
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See our award-winning book, "Be the Change: How Meditation Can Transform You and the World," with forewords by the Dalai Lama and Robert Thurman and contributions from Jack Kornfield, Gangaji, Jane Fonda, Ram Dass, Byron Katie and others.
Our three meditation CDs -- "Metta: Loving-Kindness and Forgiveness," "Samadhi: Breath Awareness and Insight" and "Yoga Nidra: Inner Conscious Relaxation" -- are available at www.EdandDebShapiro.com.
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Dr. Isaac Eliaz: What Are You Feeling?: The Journey to Self Awareness
Meditation - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Meditation: Take a stress-reduction break wherever you are ...
I love meditation with all my heart - the sitting the being still, the richness & joy (etc)
I also like to bring awareness, clarity etc. to all I do
faved
Blessings.
Jonathan
great comment!
The mind then creates a blizzard of avoidance mechanisms. All designed to avoid looking at itself and avoiding awareness.
All the reasons people come up with are about avoidance. What got me to finally sit regularly was hitting rock bottom in my life and being desperate for self-transformation. I found great motivation by reading books that got me to sit. I recall reading 'Everyday Zen' by Charlotte Joko Beck; 'Be Here Now' by Ram Dass; 'A Gradual Awakening' by Steven Levine; ' Art of Mindful Living' by Thich Nhat Hanh and other such books.
A good book is one that gets you to sit.
the ego becomes redundant - is out of a job - meditation says no more to da ego!
Meditation reveals there is no solid self!
Fanned & Fav'd
you betcha! :-))
great advice
are you happy?
are you free?
are you still?
are you aware of radiant emptiness?
ok - you pass! :-))
It is now so easy to get to that quiet mind, a starting place to watch what arises and falls away. This is of course truth and training as well as metaphor. The truth is clear once you watch, the thoughts arise out of apparently nowhere, dominate you mind then fall away as something else, perhaps unrelated takes the place of the dissipating thoughts. The training is for life's broader canvas, in that goals or objects we spend years striving to have, become less important after having them; we might even realize that we would have been better off without them. The metaphor is a shadow puppet of what our life on earth is: like thoughts, goals, wishes, loves, hates, and ennui amount to nothing when we die. The least among us dies the same way as the greatest - we 'ourselves' arise and pass away.
well said - very well said! :-))
I meditate almost daily and constantly rave to my friends about the benefits of meditation.
people have to find out about meditation by themselves - an inquiring mind - a sense of wanting to know more or they see you and say you look peaceful or happy etc. what is your secret. That is an opening for you to be real & honest.
I started meditating on the advice of my therapist. She thought that mindfulness would suit me well, as I'm far too analytical. Not exactly the greatest thing to think too much when suffering from depression. I could turn a hangnail into self loathing.
One thing led to another, and I felt it was time to go off the medication, and I continued meditating, I'm in a completely different place now. I know there are places of myself that I have to explore and sometimes meditation can be highly emotional. Ultimately, I'm in a better place because of it.
happy you are back
do meditate you owe it to yourself
thank you for this helpful comment.
Interesting
helpful info, Ed & Deb...I love your blogs!
AndiG
you always come here with a big heart. That's why you must be loved by all you students!
Meditating for just 15 min. a day can work miracles. I meditate 2x's a day and always exercise. Pain is something I fight daily and hope to fight it for a long, long time through the benefits of meditation. Thank you for pointing out the many benefits, now if we could just the angry masses in America to try it.
thanks for sharing!
As to your use of the word "fight" relative to pain, I'd like to share with you what I've discovered. Part of my examination of "pain" and my reaction to it (with anxiety) has been the discovery of how I think about "pain". I removed any judgement from the meaning of the word "pain". When I realized that I had been literally "fighting" pain, like an adversary, I realized that I had put myself in a most difficult position. If I am always "fighting", then "pain" must be the enemy. So, I worked on removing the idea of "pain as the enemy" and instead gave "pain" the value of a neutral: it is present, but it is neither bad or good; pain just "is". This put less emphasis on "pain" and more emphasis on my "reaction" to the pain. That simple change in perception ultimately had the effect of reducing the anxiety levels experienced as a result of the presence of pain, and also had the effect of reducing the pain itself.
www.happierthanabillionaire.com
great comment thank you!