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Lane Kiffin Laughs All the Way West at Tennessee Suckers

03/18/2010 05:12 am ET | Updated May 25, 2011

Lane Kiffin spends one year proving how immature and accidentally comic a 34-year-old man can be. He then wads up a mutant size hairball of expectorate, spits it liberally and almost with glee at everyone in Tennessee who lauded him as their wunderkind savior, and completes his manipulation of UT by nailing his dream job at a substantial profit.

The evidence is glaring. Kiffin never meant to stay one second longer at Tennessee than he had to. His level of commitment to this program was comparable to NBC's watermark with regard to Conan O'Brien.

During his mouthy and often boorish season at Tennessee, Kiffin was determined to prove that not only was he something of a genius, but that his brash style would turn the SEC upside down and teach everyone around the country how backward these pigskin rednecks were.

He shot off his mouth to the level of unintentional comedy and embarrassed the Volunteers much more than himself. Little will stick to him from this experience because buffoons are often given the benefit of a doubt when it comes to self-immolation.

Kiffin's exit will be yet another example of the single greatest sporting lie since the East German female swimmers swore they weren't taking steroids. Statements made while they were shaving off a five o'clock shadow and buying athletic cups.

That he was making a promise to the players. The kids who sold their collective souls to a dream and were convinced he was the one to at the very least give that dream a slight chance of coming true. The ones who with or without talent dropped every ounce of their sweat when asked and demanded they do so. The recruits who, like so many more at so many other schools over the seasons, sat in their living rooms and fell for a snake oil pitch of commitment.

And who now will be punished by the NCAA and be forced to sit out an entire year for making a decision based on lies and obfuscation by a guy now cashing fat checks elsewhere.

Already leaking out of the hallowed orange halls is the obvious reason why Kiffin not only bolted so fast for the farthest place from Tennessee he could find, but why the University allowed him to hold a press conference on school grounds the evening of his escape.

They could not wait to separate themselves from this Rocky Top ruination.

Don't be surprised at all if down the road we hear stories about how someone high up the Tennessee food chain called a counterpart at USC and asked what it would take to make the deal happen.

Release from the contract as quickly as possible? No problem. Throw in a set of Ginsu steak knives and a year's supply of hickory-smoked wood for your next barbecue? Done. Pick of the next litter from "Smokie IX"? We'll even throw in the veterinarian fees.

Kiffin had to cough up $800,000 as a penalty for leaving, and UT can start over again by repairing the ridicule heaped upon them by what could go down in NCAA history as the worst coaching hire since Charlie Weis nailed the fiscal buffet table in South Bend, Indiana.

Tennessee deserves better. The SEC demands better. The fans and especially the players deserve much more cogent and intelligent thought from those in charge.

The deserve someone who comes to work without a clown nose in his briefcase.

And an Athletic Administration that doesn't have one ready at the door for their next bozo.