Never underestimate the Clintons. That much we know. But, perhaps we've been watching them slash and burn their way through the last few months of the campaign without realizing what's really going on?

To understand a Clinton, you've got to think like one. To pull that off, you've got to...

Oh Eliot.

On a positive note, it's nice to know that there's a big time Democrat out there still having sex. My wife just had a baby so I've forgotten what sex is all together. I'm told I may get some more sex sometime just before my children can...

I still have a few friends who just don't like going splitsies on a dinner check, preferring to pay for exactly what they eat and drink. These are the people that Jean-Paul Sartre was talking about. I try only to see them on a full stomach.

I hate dining with...

Living in Washington, DC, you can throw a rock and hit someone with a more insightful political mind than mine. The closest I ever came to real time politics was the night both Ted Kennedy and I made back-to-back toasts at a friend's wedding. For what it's worth, my toast...

I was ten years old when Rocky III hit theaters in the summer of 1982. At that age, seeing Rocky fight Mr. T was a big deal. Both Mr. T and I went on to have very good summers. Rocky III made Mr. T an international star. And, I returned...

It's the end of the year and (thankfully) the holidays are almost behind us. I look forward to 2008. It's not like we've had such a fantastic 2007. This year was a train wreck for the country and the world at large. 2008 can't come soon enough. Still, we're lucky...

He hates you yeh, yeh, yeh.

At a news conference, Mike Huckabee referenced The Beatles, my Beatles, in order to neutralize the heebie-jeebies people got from his latest Christmas commercial running in the early primary states of Iowa, New Hampshire, and South Carolina. Gosh he's just like me. He likes...

The lottery world has always been full of opportunists. But now a whole new class of salesmen are surfacing. When I was in the lottery lump sum industry, we were always shocked that the titans of Wall Street never nudged us aside to get a taste of lottery honey. "If...

Yes, I love the Apple commercials too. John Hodgman makes a brilliant bumbling PC, the charmingly jealous foil to Justin Long's hip modern Mac. I dig the Apple marketing campaigns as much as anyone. They're clever as hell. I get it. We all get it.

For years, Apple has...

Since 2000, everyone's said what a cowboy we have in the White House. I don't get it. I never have. At least Vicente Fox called Bush a windshield cowboy, meaning he's more into playing the part than actually being it. I'm not a cowboy (in case the bespectacled, jowly bio...

Along with what seems like 10,000 other titles, my first book, Money for Nothing: One Man's Journey Through the Dark Side of Lottery Millions came out last Tuesday. I'm in the new release section with major authors and public figures such as Bill Clinton, Alan Greenspan, Jeffrey Toobin, John Grisham,...

The Sydney Morning Herald of Australia reports President Bush told Australian Deputy Prime Minister Mark Vaile, "We're kicking ass in Iraq." I've been out of high school for quite some time now but I'm rather sure "kicking ass" still means the same thing. (To kick one's ass...that's like beating someone...

I feel for gay men who have to go into the dark corners of society to get their sexual freak on. I'd feel badly for Senator Craig too were it not for his overflowing hypocrisy, dished out to the public for decades. His is the worst kind of bullshit. Here's...

I like to gamble. I used to like it a little too much, like Elvis did bacon. So, I'm hardly waiving the abstinence flag over here. I am however, amused by the media attention this week's huge Powerball and Megabucks lottery jackpots are generating. Sure, we'd all like to come...