2008: Showdown at the Not-So-OK Corral

Since 2000, everyone's said what a cowboy we have in the White House. I don't get it. I never have. At least Vicente Fox called Bush a windshield cowboy, meaning he's more into playing the part than actually being it. I'm not a cowboy (in case the bespectacled, jowly bio photo to your left didn't clue you in). I'm a Jewish dad from the suburbs of Washington, D.C. My people are not real rawhide, yee-haw kind of folks. We're more end users when it comes to cattle...think the deckle cut of the brisket.

From the little I do know of the wild West, I appreciate the cowboy life, which I gather has a lot to do with spurs and lassos and baked beans. Still, I know better than to equate myself with such iconoclastic images of Americana. I'd try, but with my luck, I'd get caught trying to smuggle Vaseline in my saddle pack, as leather chaps tend to chafe my thighs.

Isn't calling Bush a cowboy an insult to real cowboys? Don't they have a union or a lobby or something? Shouldn't Jerry Jones have someone's job over this? Sheesh, you work your tail off trying to become a real cowboy with the dust, the smell of horse poop, the Brokeback Mountain jokes, the bad hats, all that fatback for supper, the incessant harmonica...and for what? So President Bush can sully your good name by driving around his "ranch" in a pickup truck for all the presidential press photographers to see? It doesn't seem right.

A real cowboy (at least to this film studies major) doesn't just wear a costume. He looks like Gary Cooper, John Wayne, or...Al Gore. Yes, Al Gore.

Hear me out. (Okay, go ahead and laugh at the mental image that just shot into your head. I did as well. Does your Cowboy Al have a really tight vest and a tiny cowboy hat, too? My Cowboy Al looks strikingly like Steve Martin's cowboy in Parenthood. Not exactly as intimidating as Yul Brynner in Westworld but beggars can't be choosers. )

How many Westerns are based upon a fallen hero's reluctant return to service? The guys who aren't reluctant, who are chomping at the bit to fight, tend to be the villains, don't they? Most heroes in Westerns have better things to do with their time, like raising their families, licking their wounds from battles long since fought, or fighting global warming. For most heroes, stepping up and making a difference is utterly inconvenient (sorry, too easy). Many times, the Western's hero is only compelled to come back to fight another day once something so precious to him is lost or taken away.

Is it too dramatic to say that exactly such a thing has been lost or perhaps taken from Mr. Gore, along with the rest of us, in the six-plus years since he lost the tin star? I think not. Has our nation not become something almost unrecognizable to its former self? Aren't our horses sort of galloping toward the cliff right now, carrying so much of what we value in the wagon strapped to their backs? Isn't this where the hero appears to aid the damsel in distress?

Al Gore's disinclination to run for president is utterly understandable, and downright attractive. For a long time, I've held out hope that Mr. Gore would come riding in on his white horse, casually leaning forward as his stallion bucks against the silhouette of the sun, tips his hat to the townsfolk, and gallops off to save the day.

In truth, I no longer believe that he's coming back to help us climb out of the Orwellian nightmare that we've been living under President Bush. Perhaps it's the dramatist in me, but I was sure he'd jump in when the time was right. I even bet my friend $100 that he'd be in the race by Halloween. If nothing else, Mr. Gore should send me a check. I think that's fair. Perhaps the moment's lost, but, for the sake of good drama, isn't right about now-ish when the reluctant hero appears? Doesn't every real cowboy wait until the last second, just before the covered wagon goes over the cliff? Well, Mr. Gore, it's getting to be about that time. Cue the music....

As for Clinton, Obama, Edwards et al, fine folks indeed. I'll vote with guarded optimism for any one of them. It's just that I've got my heart set on Gore. I like my presidents with some wear and tear on them. I like to know that they've been there and seen it all before, that they're dying not to be President. I like the idea that they're damaged goods, road weary, and smart enough to know that this isn't a job you want but rather one you have to accept.

I also like that Mr. Gore can fatten up and grow a Depression beard when things fall apart. I can relate to that.

My hero.

Comments

[thatvisionthing]

I like Al. I want him to be president. I'm just not satisfied with the idea of him joining the other candidates in the debates and on the campaign trail. Somehow his path needs to be bigger, higher. He's above and beyond them, grateful though I am for their ideas and service.

I get kinda goofy thinking about Al at one of these debates. The stage cannot hold him, he floats like a Macy's balloon over all. Underdog and the eight dwarfs.

I like the Draft Gore movement, where citizens put Al on the ballot. It reminds me of the scene in Meet John Doe where the people crowd around Gary Cooper to tell him about all the good that's come out of the John Doe clubs he inspired. Hey screenwriters, what would Capra do? Take care of my star.

[Halsey]

I'm thinking "The Man Shot Liberty Vallance"..ahh...James Stewart...is the perfect cowboy image of Al Gore...as he can double as Mr. Smith!...

w is afraid of horses..or at the very least doesn't like them..at least Reagan rode his!..

[mountainmama]

Edward, I like your writing. And your invocation of Al Gore. My vote in November 2008 will go to whoever is the Democratic candidate, but in the best of all worlds, that will be Al.

As to cowboys, there are several kinds, and some have quotation marks around them (drugstore etc.). Here in Colorado there are the real kind, and it is not a kindness to equate their work with that of the (quotation-marked) president ("this is hard work!"). Real cowboys work. Real cowboys don't complain (except to occasionally say that a night spent in the boss's cabin up on the range is sure mighty short--sundown to sunup is not many hours in the summertime).

Two topics--real cowboys and real presidents. Thanks for introducing both in one essay. Let's hear it for real cowboys and real presidents, as in Al Gore. And that old not-afraid-to-work ethic.

[SamThornton]

I'm not a cowboy but I live in cowboy country and out here clearing brush is the job they give to the sissy-boys in the bunkhouse.

[WeepingWillow]

If being the "leader of the free world" is your ultimate goal in life and you cannot imagine anything greater, then I don't want you. If you see it as public service, a step in your quest to positively affect humankind, then I'll welcome and honor your commitment, and hope that you will continue on that path after your presidency. Carter, Clinton, Gore... Can't imagine what will make Bush's life meaningful after 2008...

[livesimply]

Thanks. Great post. "I like to know that they've been there and seen it all before, that they're dying not to be President. I like the idea that they're damaged goods, road weary, and smart enough to know that this isn't a job you want but rather one you have to accept." Unfortunately, personal ambition appears to be what drives most of our candidates, particularly the republican ones. Ambition is not the best motivation for wanting to become president.

[seawolf77]

I run into them all the time in Phoenix and their all blowhard bullies, every last one of them. I wish the Marlboro man would ride off into the sunset. The world is as sick of cowboys as they are of Bush's. Blowhard bullies every last one of them, including the fake one in the White House.

[SKEETERBUG]

DO YOU HAVE A POINT? WHY DOES ANYONE CARE WHETHER AL SETS UP HIS OWN PROJECTOR OR NOT? AND FENCE? WHAT? IF AL WANTED THE NOMINEE HE WOULD GET IT. I HOPE HE DOESN'T, THOUGH. HIS WORK IS SAVING THE ENVIRONMENT - NOT DEALING WITH IDIOTS.

[nomoron]

I must tell you I've never called Bush a cowboy, but have on many occasions made reference to his outlaw, gunslinger style of leading. If we're to believe the westerns Hollywood's sent our way, didn't many of these villians run their outfits or towns with ruthless brutality and have little concern for the citizens living among them? If this isn't an accurate description of Dubbya I've never seen one.
One must appreciate your description of Gore as the honorable hero meant to step in at the last moment and rescue the people within his reach. I too would support such a move and have been saying for a long time the former vice-president's entry into this race would be the best thing for our country. Still I understand his reluctance or lack of desire to become involved in presidential politics. At best that world is brutal, so there'd better be some significant rewards for allowing our misguided press to sift through and expose every flaw or idiosyncracy or exploit every little mistake in order to sell their product.
The rewards used to include the admiration of the people, but let's face it.... the 2000 race showed just how little the people of this country respected the man. Forget about the notion that the election was lost in the Supreme Court. That election was all about the peoples vindictive attitude toward Bill Clinton and his escapades with some young staffer. They bought into the bullshit of GWB and his promise to bring integrity back to the WH? Some integrity, huh?
Al Gore has been many things in his life.... a senator, a vice-president, a film maker and now a Nobel Peace Prize winner. These achievements should garner the respect of the American people as well as provide the man with a sense of a life well lived. I will respect his desire to stay out of presidential politics, but, if he should change his mind I'll be right there, pulling for his success, firm in the knowledge that his leadership would be the first step in our recovery.

[realitytrumpsbull]

I disagree with your choice of a worthy candidate, I think road-weary is the LAST thing
that's needed to get people motivated to get
around and, well, basically, do whatever the
hell it is that needs doing.

Aging is an inevitable part of life. The days, weeks, months, years roll by, suddenly it seems
like the stairs got steeper, the driveway got
longer, and everything else sped up. Perception
and perspective...

We live in a rapidly changing world. That's
why we need someone that's not on the ragged
edge of Has-been-dom, someone that's still got
a little life in em, might not be afraid to
be a little more dynamic, off-the-cuff,
inspired, that kind of thing. We don't need
a robot, we need someone that might be able
to hold their own in a chess game, maybe
even smart enough to set up their OWN
projector for those nifty Powerpoint things. Al.

Our country is at war, our country is 9
trillion in the red. Not good circumstances.
There's problems and issues that need to be
addressed. You can't do that very proficiently
if you're all worn out and beat. So, no,
nobody that's all played out. Fresh horses etc...


Further, Vincente Fox can say whatever he cares to, he was El Presidente Del Mexico, and Bush
was El Presidente De Los Etados Unidos.(Brought
to you by Exxon, Halliburton, and the fine folks at_____________(fill in sponsor name here). And, and, if you look around your average
ranch/farm/etc., you'll see a lot of cowboys
looking out their windshields. You're not going
to move 18 bales of hay or tow the irrigation pipe trailer with a horse. But, to roll along
the dusty trail with the cowboy thing for yet another tortured and painful moment, what else
do you find on a ranch? Well, if you ride FAR
enough, you find a fence...like the one they
need to put up between the United States, and Mexico...

[Rosanneofpgh]

And your point is........