I feel for gay men who have to go into the dark corners of society to get their sexual freak on. I'd feel badly for Senator Craig too were it not for his overflowing hypocrisy, dished out to the public for decades. His is the worst kind of bullshit. Here's a man who had the power to make a difference in the very lives of the men he disdained in public but sought out in the privacy of an anonymous john (sorry), head (oops), stall. Does my heart go out to him for the shame and life shattering exposure he's faced over the last week? Yes, it truly does. But then, Bill Maher aired file footage of Sen. Craig talking to Chris Matthews in January of 1999, calling Bill Clinton a "nasty, bad, naughty, boy." Once the creepiness of his words went away, I figure he's getting what he deserves.
There's nothing worse than a self righteous, moralizing hypocrite. We all have dark corners in one way or another. Most of us just know better than to proselytize about the sinners during the day and drink with them at night. Folks tend to enjoy a good weenie roast for guys like that. None more so than myself.
Sadly, it looks as though he's been lying to himself for a lot longer than to us. Sadder still, it's sort of our fault. No, I'm not suggesting that Senator Craig's toe tapping off, off, off Broadway musical in the Minneapolis men's room was set in motion by anyone in particular, save perhaps the delicious looking feet of the undercover cop in the stall next to his. But, we have to ask ourselves this: what sends a grown man, with everything to lose, into a bathroom stall in order to get his jollies in the first place?
If homosexuality were not sinful in the minds of so many folks who are sure that they know what's best for the rest of us, if entire families weren't shattered because they couldn't possibly accept their son or daughter's sexuality, if homosexuality were not feared but rather accepted or just plain old normalized in the holier than thou minds of a significant portion of our population; bathroom stalls in airports would be used for what God intended: hiding your weed before passing through security.
Guess what? It serves us right. We've been shaming homosexual men and women in this country since Jamestown. And, you can be damn sure some sexy English sailor was making goo-goo eyes at ye olde ship's mate way back when. They probably even tapped their feet a time or two -- but far enough away to make sure that the taboo relationship that had tongues wagging was John Smith and Pocahontas.
What do we expect? We've shamed and marginalized one of the kindest most decent slices of our society -- homosexuals -- sending into the shadows some of our brightest stars, and now we have the moxie to wonder why those people act this way in public bathrooms.
We put them there.
Senator Craig's voting record makes him no friend of mine. But, man, what a price he's paying now. I wonder if, now that the cat's out of the bag, he'd like to go back and change a few of the votes he made over the years? Unfortunately, I doubt it. I won't pretend to know him or his mind, but I'd bet he's still clinging to his positions he struggled so hard to establish over his decades in public office.
And, where dos he go now for comfort? His Republican base? No. Republicans have dropped him like the radioactive dead weight that he is. What of his loyal conservative voting record? Old news. He's worthless to them now. No surprise there. The right wing wouldn't, couldn't have it any other way.
Will his family stay by his side? I hope so. Like any man or woman in his unfortunate position, he needs their unconditional love and support. (Insert poetic irony sigh here.) If Saturday's press conference announcing his resignation is any indication, it looks like they are. Time will tell.
I wish Senator Craig no harm. I wish him a future where he can, if only in the back nine of his life, live out of the shadows. I wish that for him on one condition, that he hopes and supports the same thing for everyone else.
Live free or die? Catchy slogan... It's not just for New Hampshire anymore. I hope he gives it a try.
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Ed, that was a really good post.
THX
:)
Very thoughtful post, perhaps the best thing I've read yet about this whole sorry affair.
I have for much of my life had to spend some time in "gay-hating" Republican circles. One thing I can tell you is that guys like Craig often aren't really gay - they're just disgusting. Big difference. If gay sex were accepted or normalized, it would lose it's appeal for these guys. What they like about the gay bathroom experience is that it's tabboo - or, if you prefer, "bad, naughty, nasty." Same for Vitter and living out his toilet training fantasies with prostitutes. Very naughty. These guys like to do what's dirty.
I think it's their reason for blocking equality for gays.
"We put them there" implies this is the only way gay men can meet. That"s simply absurd.
Amen. You hit all the points almost exactly on the head. I am 61. I have been open about my sexuality for years, but only to those I trusted. I, like Craig, pass very easily as, well, not gay. In fact I am not Gay. I am Homosexual, and perceptually, there is a difference.
Imagine that we defined Heterosexuality by their behavior at New Orleans at Mardi Gras. That is what the bigots like Tony Perkins and James Dobson have managed to do to the Gay Population and rheir Gay Pride Parades. I have never been to a Gay Pride Parade. I am not proud to be whatever I am, but I am not ashamed either. I just am what I am.
For that I and others like me pay a huge price. I did not choose who I am any more than anyone else. I would have chosen a full head of hair. Yet people who said they were my friends dropped me when they found out that I was - whatever I am. Senator Craig would be doing the same thing that his fellow Republicans are if it were one of them instead of him that had been outed.
In our immature social structure the pressure to be like everyone else keeps many of those who are different in mortal fear that they will be found out. As a result they feel the need to not appear "weak" on their particular hidden difference. Makes you wonder about the rest of the Republican caucus who look pretty anxious to throw stones.
"Judge not lest ye be Judged" rings loud to these men who mouth the faith that claims the aggressive Love and Forgiveness of Jesus.
I gave up a long time ago trying to thinking that there are answers and absolutes. For all the time that man has walked the earth and for all of our "advances", we are still only about six feet from the dark cave from which we emerged.
repearwo, when you give Tony Perkins and James Dobson the power to define you and define what you call yourself, they win.
Just like in the example you gave; straight people don't shun the term "straight" just because of the crazy things that some straight people do at Mardi Gras. They don't allow themselves to be defined by the fringes of their community.
You should take their example. Tell Tony Perkins, et al, to f*ck off and wear the "gay" label with pride.
Oh, and by the way, don't let the Tony Perkins and James Dobsons and homophobic local news stations in your area tell you what goes on at a gay pride parade. I did that for years and had visions of all kinds of craziness. I went to my FIRST gay pride parade this year and guess what? It was NOTHING like I had always been told. It was NOTHING like I expected. I took my husband and our son and some people from my church and had a blast. We were surrounded by families and well behaved revelers. Yes there were some drag queens and leather daddies (relatively few in number) but they just added a little spice.
Bottom line, don't let your enemies define and don't let them tell you what is and isn't true about our community. If you want to know what a gay pride parade is all about GO TO ONE. If you don't like it, fine but at least you will have based your decision on your own terms based on YOUR OWN experience.
I don't want to sound like I'm scolding you like a school boy. That is certainly not my intention. The fact of the matter is I'm only able to be who I am today because people like you fought in the trenches in a homophobic world that I can't even imagine. GLBT people today, especially the young, owe your generation an immense debt of gratitude.
I honor you and salute you for that.
Well said, Repearwo. The religious nut-jobs who caused all the trouble about homosexuality in the first place are intent on keeping the fight alive in order that they may continue to control people. Marginal thought... I wonder if Larry now has to give back all the bribe money he received from anti-gay groups to vote the way he did.
That's what is commonly known as a distiction without a difference. Just semantics. You're gay. You just don't like that word for whatever reason. Just a different level of self-delusion than Not Gay Larry's.
Please don't say "we" put them there.
those people in governement right now-who think they have the right to peep into peoples' sexual lives as well as computers, and phones are the ones who "put them there". There are many good people in this country who disagree with this "pre-judgement".
These are the same people who want us to believe the sky is falling-whenever anyone should disagree with them. Or who consistently remind us of thier experience or degrees-while continuing to make massive-colossal mistakes.
What about the fact that this arrest seems trumped up?
Does the fact that LARRY CRAIG WAS AGAINST THE PATRIOT ACT, AND BUSH CALLED HIM A TRAITOR ring any bells for anyone else?
He was arrested for tapping his feet in a urinal, for heaven's sake.
NOT saying Craig might not seek gay bathroom sex,
I AM saying he may have been set up as a warning to any other republics that may actually have scruples about trashing the Constitution. To me, this is classic Rove-style repubic play book tactics, used against a defiant member.
Check out Firedog Lake and other blogs for confirmation.
THINGS THAT MAKE 'YA SAY... "HMMMN"
I'm usually good for eye- rolling and audible sighs when I hear most conspiracy theories. Not because I doubt that the_____(fill in favorite boogie man here: govt., CIA, repugs,etc.) is capable of evil...but I always have to ask myself."Why would they bother?"
In Sen. Craig's case, there's been something nagging at me and I'm afraid that "boyd" has put his/her finger on it. I DO in fact remember the Decider's ire at Craig for failing to rubber-stamp the patriot act and some pretty testy rhetoric from both.
I don't care a whit about Craig's sexual proclivites and am always thrilled to see ANY Republican hoisted on thier own peter...er... petard. (Thanks to the Bush crime family I am now a hoplessly polarized, partisan, rabid, yellow dog lefty)
But as to "Why would they bother?"....Well, apparently SOMEONE did. What's up w/ this "undercover sting operation" anyway? Are we to believe there's been a terrible rash of Gay sexual assaults by septugenarians at the Minneapolis airport? I mean, really, shouldn't this guy (the cop) be out inspecting bridges or something? I'm just saying........tm
It makes me wonder: how many, or what percentage, of our representatives and governors, are beholden to others than their constituents because of closet skeletons? How much dirt is there on those whom Bush depends on for support?
Maybe we should require that anyone wishing to "serve" the public disclose their skeletons, in anticipation that they can be used against her/him. Would act as a powerful sieve, no?
Fat chance! We'll be waiting a long time for representatives and governors that we can trust are free of closet skeletons, thus less vulnerable to coercion, and freer to vote their own consciences.
Blessings
Why is it that this is the only post I've seen recently that talks about the hypocricy? I keep reading bloggers on huffpo and elsewhere saying "He did nothing illegal, why is he being railroaded?" When they should be talking about the fact that this man has spent more than 30 years doing his best to make it illegal to be gay. He hasn't succeeded, luckily for him, but he has TRIED! Now that he's been caught apparently soliciting gay sex, I say goodbye larry craig!
I wish him a future where he drags this thing out for about a year. He should have realized that hereached the end of the road the day he got arrested. He's too stupid and th Republicans desrve him. Hang in there Not Gay Larry!
My mother was left handed, but was forbade by her teachers to use her natural dexterity. As an artist, she developed the ability to paint with either hand, but only her left hand created beauty. Plenty of homosexual men and women have spent years in sexual relationships with partners of the opposite sex. Why? Because we told them to, and gave them no other choice. Well, I hope we're proud of ourselves.
Should straights be subjected to one day a year, GAY DAY, where they're required to have gay sex? Why? Not because it would give pleasure to anyone, but just so they could experience the denying who they are, and "enjoy" being compelled to act homosexual.
If sex, for me, is not about whom I love and want to give my body to, if it's not about the pleasure I have fondling my lover's body, designed especially for me, then what is it for? Procreation? Well, that could be accomplished with sperm banks and turkey basters.
There's something more, and we are stupid to think it's all right to deny to anyone that something more because we faithfully fantasize that we are pleasing the Puppet we thow our voice through and call God. Well, a very old God impregnated a very young virgin girl and still gets worshipped. I think, then, we could invite homosexuals out of their closets and into the marriage bed of THEIR choice and find enough self respect to bird seed at their weddings.
If you're against gay marriage, then marry someone of the opposite sex, but don't claim you have the right to deny another's happiness. In America, we ALL are guaranteed the right to pursue happiness. Homosexuality may or may not be your choice, but who you discriminate against is your choice.
So, if you think it's ok to force your view of morality on others, then enjoy GAY DAY, when other's morality is forced on you. Or... we could all just let love find a way.
This isn't about gay hypocrites, it's about muckleakers who play the public like violins. WHO leaked the story and how did they get it? What's in that database? I bet KR is laughing his head off. Leaking and getting an enemy canned (like the US attys?) without ever getting his gloves dirty. Directing attention elsewhere so we won't notice his leaking, manipulative lawbreaking and those pesky subpoenas. It's too rich!
When will we learn to wonder? When will we learn to care?
WAKE UP.
I don't care what Larry Craig does in the privacy of his bathroom stall. It's none of my business. I DO care that there is apparently a law against thought and speech and toe tapping.
You must be joking! You think someone has to "leak" something like this? Arrests and convictions are public records. You can't be as stupid as Not Gay Larry. Only an idiot would think that a senator could plead guilty to a crime and keep it quiet. Damned straight Larry's name was in databases. Larry Flynt, Mike Rogers, etc. What a dumb ass that he thought he would not be found out. Democrats have only pointed out his hypocritical voting record. The Republicans are giving him the boot. And regardless of all the other issues surrounding his arrest, he was not just tapping his toes. He WAS soliciting sex. Maybe that shouldn't be illegal, but it is why he's a hypocrite and it's also why the GOP is through with him.
Leaked to Roll Call, congressional newspaper. Hmmm. The newspapers didn't dig this up. Mike Rogers outed Craig months ago but didn't know about the arrest.
I'll grant the hypocrisy and all that comes with it. But the carefully placed leak that gets an unloyal Bushie out of office, that distracts from other news...I've seen this magic before. I say Karl Rove. Muckseeking, muckleaking Karl Rove.
And what one person says to another person should be constitutionally protected free speech, whether in public or private. Having sex in a public bathroom is one thing (and didn't happen), talking about it or making a pass is another. There was no crime.
I'm right handed. I am quite happy that I am , indeed , right-handed. We all know that the majority of people are right handed. Most of the world is set up to please "right-handedness". I just gave some thought to the idea of the "whole world "trying to tell me that I really should be right handed , it's normal; what if I was born left handed? I know a lot of left handed people and I have heard tales of how that makes their life harder than it ought to be. I don't really have a large point to make , but I'm sure glad that I was born right-handed,
Larry Craig is suffering from Restless Leg Syndrome...
yeah!
There is a world of anonymous, closeted, secret sex encounters; that is common among men who want to have sex with other men, but can not accept that to themselves, and certainly not admit it to others in their lives.
The guilt and shame put upon them by society, forces them to the closeted world of unsafe sex and hiding their true selves.
Homosexuality is in a minority of human sexual reality, yet it is a biological fact in human nature.
The social consequences of being different, creates this world of self denial and unusual, unhealthy, closeted, sex encounters to satisfy their sexual needs.
If we want to stop this kind of closeted, unhealthy behavior, we must first stop the hate towards a minority that are naturally different than the majority.
The truth behind any contented, well adjusted person; is accepting themselves for who they really are, and receiving the love, acceptance, and support from others, for who they are.
A good parent knows it is wrong to force their child to be someone, they can not be.
It's sad that the Senator has been so twisted by social norms, that he screams he's not, what he is.
He has spent his whole life denying who he is, hating what he is. He takes that hate for his own sexuality, and through the law, forces others to not only deny the same to themselves, but makes it illegal for them to be who they are. This is a sick cycle of social oppression.
People like the Senator are partly responsible for homosexual's self-hate and suicide, because he is part of the social elite that define social morals, legal behavior, and public acceptance.
Hypocrite, there is no other word for him, but that does not begin to describe the harm he has done.
The long list of hypocrite like personal behavior from conservatives; reveals a false Utopian kind of human values that do not exist.
We don't need leaders to tell us what our individual morals should be, we need leaders who act on our behalf, with morality.
check out the song about Larry Craig at Politicalsongs.com You'll be glad you did.
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Posted September 5, 2007 | 09:42 PM (EST)