Denver Needs a Dunkin' Donuts

Americans love simple pleasures, and Coloradans are no exception. A night of bowling, mindless television, elastic waistbands -- these are the mainstays of classy, classic Americana. They soothe the mind, quiet the restless soul and placate the empty and vacant. And if you were to summit this massive mountain of earnest enjoyments, what would you find at the top?

A donut.

[Note: The "doughnut" spelling is hideously elitist. Don't use it.]

We love donuts. I love donuts. These plump little discs mirror the circle of life itself, each delicious nook a trial, every tasty cranny a tribulation. And without question, the fondest donut memories most of us have are connected to that enduring, endearing enclave of glazed goodness -- Dunkin' Donuts.

Yet, we residents of Denver/Boulder have been callously excluded from the warm, inviting Dunkin' embrace (a nearly mythical space I will hereafter refer to as the Dunkinsphere).

There is not a single Dunkin' Donuts location in Denver, nor in Boulder, nor in any of the other stalwart villages that pepper our surroundings.

Nay, in order to gain entry to the Dunkinsphere, you must travel all the way to Colorado Springs, a city that currently boasts two Dunkin' Donuts and a scandalous imposter named "Country Donuts" that apes the vibrant, hallowed colors of the Dunkinsphere but captures none of its majesty.

That's what happens when good men and women do nothing. Evil persists in the form of second-rate donut domiciles! We cannot allow these cowardly faux-nuts to besmirch the Dunkinsphere, simply because we have no location to call our own.

Take up your swords, clubs and homemade balloons -- Denver needs a Dunkin' Donuts! If we unite under a single frosted banner and generate enough noise, we can make a clamor loud enough to bring cream-filled change to these Dunkin'-deprived streets of ours.

Carpe donut!

 

Follow Ef Rodriguez on Twitter: www.twitter.com/pugofwar

Comments

[dmcgraw7]

01:33 PM on 11/11/2009

Denver needs more than just a Dunkin' Donuts. We need to revitalize a block or two of Federal Blvd. some where between Speer and Colfax. Drop in a Dunkin' Donuts, a Lou Malnati's, a Portillo's and a White Castle. Then Denver would be the farthest western suburb of Chicago.

[tmehling]

11:53 AM on 11/10/2009

I lived a few doors down from that Dunkies in Boulder. I didn't fully appreciate it until I moved to Boston, where they are everywhere­. Heck you give directions like, "Take the second right after the Dunkies.." Now, I really, really, miss a donut and good coffee. Lamars is great, but no Dunkies.

[Ef Rodriguez]

12:22 PM on 11/10/2009

Agreed. I live in the neighborho­od where it used to be, and I would be tickled pink if it came back. In all honesty, Boulder doesn't have enough late-night spots. A Dunkin' that stayed open until midnight would be a welcome addition here.

Not to mention Denver, my gosh!

[gibbonsrose]

10:18 AM on 11/10/2009

Dunkin Donuts has good coffee too... much better than the overpriced Starbucks brand (in my opinion).

[Ef Rodriguez]

12:20 PM on 11/10/2009

I'm not a coffee drinker, but I've heard other folks praise the Dunkin' brew. So many compelling arguments!

[Tavi]

10:33 PM on 11/09/2009

OMG -- you are so right!! I actually googled for a Dunkin' Donuts about a week ago in Fort Collins, and I could not believe it came up zero!!

Made me mad.

I want a Dunkin' Donuts -- NOW!!!!

[Ef Rodriguez]

09:14 AM on 11/10/2009

I feel your pain. Your chocolate frosted pain.

I actually got a retweet from the official Dunkin' Donuts Twitter account, so at least someone over there is aware of our plight.

[skabber]

03:35 PM on 11/09/2009

Boulder used to have one about 9-10 years ago. But then something weird happened and it turned into a K's Donuts. Same people owned/work­ed there but it was a Dunkin Donuts no more.

[Ef Rodriguez]

03:42 PM on 11/09/2009

I remember! It was on the corner of Folsom & Canyon - it's presently Folsom St. Coffee Co., a pretty sweet zero-waste coffeeshop­.

I'd still prefer a donut place, though.