I have a friend who describes herself as "a controlling type of person," a single mom who tends to worry about money and germs. A practicing Muslim, she says that fasting during Ramadan helps her to feel more peaceful, despite the physical difficulty. Self-denial, daily prayer, and heightened compassion for the poor change her. "It's a very intense period," she explains. "If you don't grow spiritually from that, you have to reevaluate what you're doing because you should feel different. You should think differently. You should have a peace about you, a patience." Ramadan, she says, is gradually making her a less anxious person, giving her the confidence to think about changing from a clerical job to a more service-oriented career.
When people want to change, they often turn to religion. Though the specifics of what we should change and how vary by tradition, the promise that our lives will become more peaceful through spiritual practice runs through many traditions. In a society where anxiety seems higher than ever, this may be one of the most appealing aspects of religion.
Seeking Peace
The Qur'an promises relief from anxiety for all believers (including Christians and Jews), saying that those who believe in God "on them shall be no fear, nor shall they grieve" (Qur'an 2:62). The commands "Be not afraid" and "Fear not" run through the Bible, though in some parts it says that we should fear God, just nothing else. In Matthew's Gospel, Jesus challenges his followers: "Do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' ... But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you" (Matt 6:31-33).
Along with the call to trust God, these scriptures also include the instruction to care for other people, especially those Jesus calls "the least of my brothers." As the prophet Isaiah states:
If you give your bread to the hungry and relief to the oppressed, your light will rise in the darkness and your shadow become like noon. Yahweh will always guide you, giving you relief in desert places. He will give strength to your bones and you will be like a watered garden, like a spring of water whose waters never run dry. (Isaiah 58:10-11)
In spiritual traditions that do not center on a supreme deity, we still find the instruction to serve and care for others rather than anxiously focusing on ourselves. As the Dalai Lama explains, "If the love within your mind is lost, if you continue to see other beings as enemies, then no matter how much knowledge or education you have, no matter how much material progress is made, only suffering and confusion will ensue." On the other hand, he teaches, "If you contribute to other people's happiness, you will find the true goal, the true meaning of life."
How to Change
How do we change so radically that we are more concerned about other people's happiness than our own? How do we find true peace? The answer in many faiths is summed up on a bumper sticker: "Know God, know peace." Black Elk, a Sioux spiritual leader, once explained:
The first peace, which is the most important, is that which comes within the souls of people when they realize their relationship, their oneness, with the universe and all its powers, and when they realize that at the center of the universe dwells Wakan-Taka (the Great Spirit), and that this center is really everywhere, it is within each of us. This is the real peace, and the others are but reflections of this.
"The center core of change in Judaism is acquiring fear and love of God, investigating God's will through Torah study, and then following God's will," explains Melvin Metelits, a teacher of Torah. Melvin, who became less anxious himself and more dedicated to selfless service through a combination of Torah study and dealing with cancer, says that in Hebrew scripture, some people, like Joseph, are changed gradually, while others, like Moses and Jacob, are changed through a vision or moment of dramatic encounter with God. "Sometimes, thank God, there's a breakthrough," he says. "Sometimes we work on micro-increments of change."
Spiritual practices -- whether fasting, study of scripture, prayer, or works of charity -- are meant to gradually transform us. Cistercian monk Thomas Keating writes, "The conscious resolution to change our values and behavior is not enough." An advocate of the centuries-old practice of silent contemplative prayer, Keating says we have deeply embedded patterns of selfish and unhealthy behavior, so we need help from what he calls "the Divine Therapist." Similarly, Quakers starting in the seventeenth century adopted a form of silent worship in which they felt the "Inner Light" reveal to them the parts of themselves that needed to be changed.
On the surface, centering prayer and Quaker worship don't look that different from Buddhist meditation, though in Buddhism there is no "Divine Therapist" guiding the process. Zen master Thich Nhat Hanh explains, "Peace is present right here and now, in ourselves and in everything we do and see. The question is whether or not we are in touch with it." The promise of practice, he teaches, is that we can "smile, breathe, walk, and eat our meals in a way that allows us to be in touch with the abundance of happiness that is available."
Although Thich Nhat Hanh makes it sound simple, Buddhists recognize that there are different levels of practice, and reaching total peace will take many lifetimes. The role of reincarnation in change is another difference with the Abrahamic faiths, but when we look at the hoped-for effect of spiritual transformation, we find again the idea that we need to become less anxious about our own wants and more concerned with the needs of others. Meditation practice helps us to see the grasping of our minds and gradually teaches us to let go of our attachments. It also leads to greater compassion. As Hanh explains:
Compassion is a mind that removes the suffering that is present in the other. We all have the seeds of love and compassion in our minds, and we can develop these fine and wonderful sources of energy. We can nurture the unconditional love that does not expect anything in return and therefore does not lead to anxiety and sorrow.
This optimism may partly explain the appeal of Buddhism in the West, where many people yearn for the peace offered by traditional religion, but expect their fate to remain in their own hands -- or perhaps their own minds.
Our Role
One of the tensions between and within traditions is the question of how much our transformation is in our control. For some, God is the potter, and we are the clay, reshaped by something greater than ourselves. For others, we have the power to initiate change, or at the very least, we choose to yield to the potter's touch. In the recovery movement, they talk of willingness to change, rather than willfulness. Even in Buddhism, where more emphasis is put on a practitioner's dedicated practice, striving for enlightenment is not the way to achieve it. There is an aspect of change that is a mystery, though that does not mean we are powerless.
When thinking about trying to become a more peaceful and loving person myself, I think of Reinhold Niebuhr's Serenity Prayer and the hope and humility it offers:
God, grant me serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can change,
And wisdom to know the difference.
There is much I can do to change myself, though I am unlikely to become perfectly peaceful in this lifetime. Both of these are things I have to accept.
In other words, don't follow everything it says you have to follow, because we're now in the 21st. century, not the dark ages. And the Muslim countries must follow the trend. Not do things like killing infidels just because P.Muhammad did it too.
If, on the other hand, one follows the teachings common to all religions and examines one's own life as a result, the change comes from within not from just going through the motions or being told "this will help you". This is comparable to the way being told "this pill will help you" results in an actual benefit in some cases; the change comes from within and it wasn't simply being told "this will help" that caused the change.
I wish people would stop conflating what human beings do in the name of religion with religion itself.
In any case...
Stalin & Lenin were both atheists. So was Mao. So were more than a few others who are known for their gulags and their killing fields.
It's not religion (or lack thereof) that's the problem. The problem lies with those whose true religion is love of power. Love of power is not the sole province of people who claim religion as their purpose.
Actually, yes:
"Members of the Lon Nol government, public servants, police, military officers, teachers, ethnic Vietnamese, Christian clergy, Muslim leaders, members of the Cham Muslim minority, members of the middle-class and the educated are identified and executed.... Buddhist monks are defrocked and forced into labour brigades. ....An estimated 1.5 million are worked or starved to death, die of disease or exposure, or are summarily executed for infringements of camp discipline. Infringements punishable by death include not working hard enough, complaining about living conditions, collecting or stealing food for personal consumption, wearing jewelery, engaging in sexual relations, grieving over the loss of relatives or friends and ***expressing religious sentiments***. "
http://www.moreorless.au.com/killers/pot.html
You should follow our own advice.
1) Yes, terrible things have been done by people claiming religious justification for their terrible deeds. But the problem isn't peo
By the way, sorry about those flyers, but I didn't send them. And no I don't think you're going to HeII.
I'm an atheist, and I can find a way to relate this story to my life. I don't believe in God, I don't believe in Spirit, I don't even especially believe in the notion of "inner peace" as described by Buddhism.
But I know ritual. I know how becoming engaged in goal-oriented tasks, something outside of myself, can give me new perspectives on the world. I know how regulating my diet and exercise routine can be fulfilling. I know how forcing myself to follow rituals gives me a sense peace, accomplishment, and a sense of perspective of the world beyond my day-to-day ego-driven viewpoint. And I think it would be useful and interesting to contribute to a conversation with people--both religious and not--about this phenomenon.
But no.... all that some people can think to do is spew their pre-recorded comments that have nothing to do with the article, are not informative, and are useful to no one. How ultimately boring.
I love this comment - thanks.
FYI, I am a devout follower of Jesus so we obviously disagree about much. But, I am 100% on board with the sentiment of this post. I can't count how many times I have seen Christians "play their tapes" as well - makes me want to hang my head.
F & F
Thanks!
Courage to change the things I can change,
And wisdom to know the difference.
A great prayer!
One question: If He doesn't. And I don't. Is it my fault or His?
I'd say it's His fault. But no one ever admits that...it's always "in God's plan".
“I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours."
--Stephen Roberts
Why is this so difficult to understand?
“I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours.”
--Stephen Roberts
Why is this so difficult to see?
You know, you've got those black BMW drivers (no offense intended if you're such a one!). It's like it's all about the car and the prestige and well, let's face it, they're not the most courteous vehicles on the highway. And you've got those inattentive or drunk drivers that are way more of a threat to our well-being than any black beemer. You've got freeways congested with carbon heaving, bug squashing, noisy masses of ego-hurling metal and God help you if you step in the way.
But inside is people just trying to get where they want to be. And maybe they just inherited the one they're in, or maybe they went out and founded the coolest one they could afford - but who are we to judge? Just please, use your turn signals and stop at the red lights, m-kay?
As I was writing the article, I knew it was risky trying to generalize about religion in less than 1,000 words. I see that failing in many of the comments, as well. Harm has been done in the name of religion, and all religious people are guilty by association, goes the logic. For the record, my faith community, the Religion Society of Friends (also known as Quakers), have historically been against violence and sexism, played an important role in opposing slavery and achieving women's suffrage, and (at least in the Eastern United States) many congregations have long married gay couples. My branch of Quakers at least is very reluctant to tell other people about our faith, let alone shove it down people's throats, so that many people seem to think we disappeared with bonnets and buggies. So it's odd for me to be accused of endorsing homophobia, the Inquisition, and intolerance.
My other reactions are over on my blog http://www.eileenflanagan.com/blog/2010/9/2/finding-my-voice.html. Thanks for reading.
A major concern of mine is that we have a culture where people are regularly being told about the virtues of religion. This ranges from talk about how religion is needed for morality to how religion can positively change lives (your article). Regardless, people are sold on the idea that people need religion. The thing is, people do not need religion. People can live good fulfilling lives without religion. People can change their life for the better without religion.
You have a line in your blog that you wanted "to offer an alternative to all those people who are searching for something, but think that religion is just an evil institution that makes people feel guilty and starts wars." This is telling in a few ways. Firstly, you actually think people are "searching for something" and need spirituality. I strongly disagree. Secondly you yourself know that religion has done much evil and yet you are trying to sell how good it is. You are trying to sell religion using this rose-colored half-truth that is a wonderful positive force to people who have rightfully rejected religion.
I also don't assume that everyone is seeking spirituality, but I certainly find--as a writer, speaker, and workshop leader--that many people are. I would say they are seeking the Sacred, rather than religion, per se. If you and your friends are not, that's fine, but it doesn't mean that no one is.
I don't think people are seeking spirituality. Most people don't even think about religion most the time. They don't need religion at all, they are just told that they need religion and adopt one. To the extent that they do seek something, they want to be better husbands or mothers, to be better people and get through the day. For this you don't need religion, you actually need to step it up and change your life. You don't need God to be an adult and remind you to eat more healthy, tell your spouse you love them more often, etc.
Really, please stop trying to sell religion to people. I'd rather these people who are "searching" be told that they can live happily without religion (something they rarely hear), not be told yet again that they need religion. I want to change this culture of promoting religion as needed and being critical of articles like yours is part of this. Your article promotes the very notion of "the good life" that we wish to challenge.