More

Featuring fresh takes and real-time analysis from HuffPost's signature lineup of contributors
Elaine Hall

GET UPDATES FROM Elaine Hall
 

Lucky with Autism?

Posted: 03/22/10 12:34 PM ET

All of this talk about luck, Lucky Charms, and all things green last week got me thinking about my luck meter and I realized that I am one of the lucky ones.

I have an 86 year-old Dad who has survived a series of strokes. I am the mother of a teenage son who has autism. I have a loving husband, who is a fantastic cook. I have incredible supportive friends, work that I love, and thank you, God, I am in good health.

Why did I lead with the two things that might be construed as "bad luck"? Wouldn't it seem that my Dad's strokes and my son's autism are unlucky things? And what do autism and strokes have in common?

Because of my son's autism, I am able to understand and be with my Dad's fragile condition without judgment, fear, or even sorrow. I can see my Dad as "whole" and as "all there", even if his brain is processing things differently these days.

There were times when people doubted my son's intelligence because he didn't speak. They discounted him, talked about him as if he wasn't there. I knew in my heart that he understood everything around him. It wasn't until he started using a choice board and typing that others started to acknowledge how smart he was.

People often comment that my Dad has lost his ability to think. They look at him with pity. I don't see him that way. I see my Dad as whole, just like I always saw my son, Neal as whole. My Dad's brain may function a little differently than it used to, but he's there. All there. He might not remember what he ate for breakfast this morning, but today he remembered that his father came from a part of Russia called, Uttich. And when I brought up my Dad's first date with my Mom, he laughed because she pretended to like baseball even though she didn't know a thing about it!

The other day my Dad and I laughed and played together; I pushed him fast in his wheelchair paralleling how fast he used to push me in my stroller. We have come full circle. My Dad who used to delight in entertaining his "little girl", teaching me about life's joys. I am an Adult Daughter today, sharing life's simple pleasures and reminding him all of the wonderful things about life that he taught me.

My son's autism has taught me so much, most importantly to cherish every minute; to see life as a miracle. To love, be loved.. To listen, and to laugh.

I invite you to share your miracles and your journey. How autism has helped shape your life in ways unimaginable? And how we can be lucky in ways that might appear to be just the opposite?

 
 
 

Follow Elaine Hall on Twitter: www.twitter.com/COACHE

 
 
  • Comments
  • 4
  • Pending Comments
  • 0
  • View FAQ
Comments are closed for this entry
View All
Recency  | 
Popularity
This user has chosen to opt out of the Badges program
photo
11:18 PM on 03/22/2010
I'm a much better singer because of my daughter. I've always wanted to be bolder and more confident when I sang but I was embarrassed. I knew I would have an impressive singing voice if I weren't so shy about using it around people. Then, so often, I discovered, the only way I could calm my autistic daughter when she was on the verge of panic was to sing her favorite songs, in private, in public, singing was an instant calming tool. So I stopped caring how good I sounded. I just sang. And now I get compliments a lot. I love singing and sometimes others join in. Sometimes it's a mini version of those dancers who seem to spontaneously start dancing in public places.
This is much more she has added to my life as the one who has taught me more than any other single person but I chose to write about the singing in this post.
photo
HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Elaine Hall
01:32 AM on 03/28/2010
How beautiful! I am sure your daughter loves to hear your voice. Amazing how when we come from total love and being of service to our children, we open up channels for our own expression.
Thank you for your response and please keep on singing! No one tells the birds that they need to sing a certain way. Many blessings to you and your daughter, Elaine
06:14 PM on 03/22/2010
What a terrific article! It really DOES all come down to attitude. I'm linking to this article from Autism Hangout. Thank you, Elaine!
photo
HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Elaine Hall
01:32 AM on 03/28/2010
Thank you, Autism Hangout. so pleased you enjoyed the article. And yes, it really does come down to attitude. Einstein says, "There are only two ways to live your life, one is as though nothing is a miracle, the other is as though everything is a miracle!" Wishing YOU many miracles, Elaine