After Every Scandal There Come the Welcoming Arms of Showbiz. Here are some new movies, shows, and remakes for Tiger Woods to Consider.

Elayne Boosler's new movie: "The Blisterhood of the Unraveling Pants". His mistress' new group movie, "The Dis-terhood of the Cavilling Rants".

Joel West's new buddy...

LOVE IT!! She and the NRA insist guns be sold, though they're murderous, even when the president is visiting. But they're fine with tomato disarmament for a book signing. Tomatoes don't kill people, smart readers kill people. Well you can pull my ripe juicy produce out of my cold dead...

You don't get into the White House by accident. It is not airport security, where if you get the fat guy thinking about lunch, your hunting knife and your eight ounces of shampoo sail on through the x-ray. It is nothing like that. The only way anybody, and I mean...

This is a quick follow-up to my post of Jan. 30th on this subject.

The New York Times, Feb. 9, 2009

ROME -- The rehabilitated bishop at the heart of a Vatican uproar for denying the Holocaust has been dismissed as the head of an Argentine seminary.

Related:...

From PBS' Newshour with Jim Lehrer:

A decision this past Saturday by Pope Benedict XVI to reinstate four bishops has sparked controversy in the Catholic Church and beyond.

One of the clergymen, Bishop Richard Williamson, is a Holocaust denier. Last week, he spoke to Swedish television.

BISHOP RICHARD...

It's hard to be totally elated at the lifting up of one group (African Americans) when another group (gays) is stripped of the most fundamental of human rights. Prop 8 in California passed; a constitutional amendment to define marriage as being between a man and a woman (or however many...

Gay marriage has been legal in California since June of this year. That means we have already had the unfortunate benefit of experiencing its predicted erosion of the sanctity of real marriage. Make no mistake, it has wreaked havoc. Just knowing that gays are marrying has ruined my husband's ability...

An email I received from Sen. Harry Reid, and the reply I sent him:

Subject: Humming

On 10/7/2008 11:06 AM, "Sen. Harry Reid" wrote:

Dear Elayne,

The difference between real change and more of the same is a filibuster-proof Senate....

May 1, 2007
Murdoch Empire Makes Bid To Buy Wall Street Journal
(Do you think he'll let his New York Post writers work on it?)

The Wall Street Journal
Publisher, Rupert Murdoch

DJIA 13062.91 plummeted 58.03 from a second story window.

NASDAQ 2525.09...

"Attorney General Alberto Gonzales takes on the role of the greatest double talking comedian in history- a blathering smokescreen of a performance!"
--Variety

"Sid Caesar, famous for his ability to spout jibberish in any dialect and sound as if he is actually speaking that language, is given...

Murderer Seung-Hui Cho - 24,000,000 Google listings.

Murderer Mark David Chapman - 2,460,000 Google listings.

Outlaw Jesse James - 16,600,000 Google listings.

Polio Vaccine Developer Dr. Jonas Salk - 491,000 Google listings.

All right, so there's a big part of our problem right there; the glorification of the criminal. Ever...

If 33 people were killed by apples instead of guns at Virginia Tech, there wouldn't be an apple left on the shelves or in the homes of this country until apples could be made safe. Screw your "constitutional right" to have an apple, there is something called the "greater good",...

This email came to me today from my friend, comedian Wendy Liebman.

"Yesterday I sat next to a soldier on my flight home from Dallas. He is 19. His name is John.

Before we took off he apologized if he smelled. "I've been in these clothes for...

"NAPPY HAIR" GETS TEACHER SUSPENDED
Excerpted from The New York Times
December 4, 1998
By Clyde Haberman

A well-intentioned third-grade teacher, who happens to be white, gave her mostly black and Hispanic students a critically praised book (winner of a Parenting Reading Magic Award)
about a...

The New National Pastime (or maybe it's just me).

Officials To Steal Eggs To Protect GOP Convention Attendees From Pigeon Poop.
YOU'RE THE PARTY AGAINST ABORTION!!!!!
While you're at, better steal all the bulls, too.

Pentagon Report Says No Connection Between Iraq And Al...

My good friend Steve Young asked me yesterday why I call this "Yelling At The TV" when it doesn't sound like I'm yelling at the TV. I explained that when I yell at the TV (which I actually do, every night) all I yell are horrible curse words, which don't...

Today's knee jerk reactions to the headlines. Or, Why My Husband Works Late (or so he says).

"Bush Tells Congress To "Get Off Their Vacation" Right Before Crawford Trip."
He also tells them to stop mispronouncing "nucular".

"Kerry: McCain's People Approached Me About Considering Him...

An instant knee-jerk reaction to today's top stories. Or, to be more accurate, something I do that has caused my husband to stay at work every day until after The Newshour ends: "Yelling At The TV".

"Supreme Court Overrules Bush on Global Warming."
Alberto Gonzales fires Supreme...

My brilliant colleagues Lizz Winstead and others have covered this topic head to toe, but sometimes you just have to weigh in anyway.

I've worshipped food my whole life, so it makes perfect sense to me to combine two of the most worshipped things in America: Jesus and...

I don't get the idea of the non-binding resolution. Why waste weeks fighting over something that has no teeth while people are dying? (Anna Nicole's baby notwithstanding.) A non- binding resolution is a dog and pony show designed to show us, the constituents, that congress "really, really likes us", but...