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Eleanore S. Wells

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Divorce Envy

Posted: 05/ 2/2012 11:30 am

Sometimes I am jealous of divorced women. Oh, not for the reason you might think; not because they've had at least one husband and I've had none. I feel jealous of divorced women because they have more social capital than I do. They exist on a higher rung on society's status ladder than I do because I am an eternally single woman with no kids -- a spinster. By choice. There. I said it, I own it and life is good. I've built a pretty nice life for myself but people still look askance at me and my fellow spinsters from time to time. They don't get it; they want to know what's wrong with us, wondering why we aren't married. People understand divorce and even single motherhood. Spinsterhood is puzzling, for some reason.

And, honestly, I'm puzzled about why they're puzzled. According to the Pew Institute, almost 30 percent of U.S. adults have never been married -- a record high. That's a lot of people, so being forever single should seem more... well, normal, but I guess our culture is not quite there yet.

Some years ago when I was younger, I worked with a woman -- Faye -- who was a spinster, although that wasn't how she referred to herself. She seemed to have quite an interesting life, with lots of romances and the jewelry to prove it. I wouldn't have done it quite the way she did because she was always an important man's mistress and that's not my thing. But I admired Faye's joie de vivre. She seemed unabashed in her single status and her lifestyle seemed to work for her.

Or at least I thought it did. One day, while I was listening to one of her many stories, she gave me a bit of advice that I found startling. She said, "Just find someone and marry him." She told me that it didn't really matter if I loved him or even stayed with him very long. Her reasoning? Divorced women are viewed more favorably than women who've never been married. In her immortal words, "It's better to be a has-been than a never-was!"

This sentiment seemed absurd to me then but I also knew that many people agreed with it. Now that it's 2012, I remember that story with a smile and as a sign of times past.

So imagine my surprise when I attended a dinner party not too long ago with some friends and colleagues I hadn't seen in awhile. A number of them were shocked -- shocked! -- that I still (their word) wasn't married. In fact, my un-wifed "plight" was the topic of conversation for what I considered to be much too long. "Why?" they wanted to know. "What's wrong?"

The kicker was that this conversation was led by a woman who was going through her third divorce. How does one fail at marriage three times by the age 45? It seemed that I was the only one who thought that was odd. All present congratulated her for knowing how to get a man... even if she couldn't keep one. And collectively, they couldn't accept that I had chosen to be happily single.

And then I remembered Faye's "has-been vs. never-was" line and it all made sense. It was 25 years later but this sentiment, apparently, still rings true.

Even now, in our very modern society, a wife is held in high esteem, a divorcee gets credit for trying and people just feel sorry for the always-single woman who's never gotten a man to say "I do."

A divorced relative once asked me to be sure to include her ex-husband's name in her obituary when the time comes. Although she's been divorced longer than she was married, she doesn't want to die without everyone knowing that she had once been someone's wife -- that she was desired -- that she is normal enough to know how to follow societal expectations. She believed that an attempt at marriage is much more acceptable than saying "the heck with it", like I did.

A male friend of mine only dates divorced women. According to him, "A 40-year-old woman who has never been married is scary." And I've seen the flash of "oh no" in the eyes of guys I'm flirting with when they learn I've never been married, not even once. Every now and then, just for fun, I'll say I'm a two-time divorcée. The response is almost always friendlier than when I tell the truth.

I've a few "opportunities" to get married, but I chose not to do so. I know myself; I wouldn't have been good at it. I love having a boyfriend and I also love it when he goes home. Life, the way I've chosen to live it, has been good to me. But, still, there are all those other folks who just don't buy it. "Happily single" sounds like an oxymoron to them.

So that's why I sometimes have divorce envy. I want to stop explaining myself, I want to stop reassuring people that "I'm fine... really". I want to be accepted as normal, just like my divorced sisters. Is that too much to ask?

 
 
 

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Sometimes I am jealous of divorced women. Oh, not for the reason you might think; not because they've had at least one husband and I've had none. I feel jealous of divorced women because they have mor...
Sometimes I am jealous of divorced women. Oh, not for the reason you might think; not because they've had at least one husband and I've had none. I feel jealous of divorced women because they have mor...
 
 
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11:35 AM on 05/13/2012
Hey! I saw your posting on FLF (footloose females yahoo group) and knew I wouldn't be disappointed :) I love the refreshing and light-hearted way you write! It's amazing isn't it. Humans invent marriage, and get upset if not everyone tries it. Oh well! I grew up amidst the rule of marriage, and am so happy from Bella's "singled out" to her blog to FLF and beyond, I've found some wise talk out of the blinkers :) No intentions to marry, loving seeing the guy I'm with at the minute (a happy internet date now months down the line)- why, if I had to "marry" all the relationships I'm committed to in my life, they might call me polygamous!! Grandmother, tick; long-lasting friendships, tick; family doggy, tick ;o)
12:37 PM on 05/09/2012
What an interesting discussion. I'm a youngish (42) widow going on my 3rd year without my husband. It's terribly hard to lose a spouse and to parent alone. But the social support is strong. I've never felt isolated among my "couple" friends (which is most of them), nor pressured to partner up again. None of the wives I know see me as a threat (and I'm cute, I promise!), just a fellow mother. I have playdates with just my dad friends all the time and no one thinks twice about it. People respect my independence and my choice to remain single for now and the forseeable future. I loved being married to my husband, but he was a unique individual, and I don't feel the need to try to replicate that experience with someone else. I think the lines that people feel free to cross for divorced or never married people - the giving of advice, the assumptions about what went "wrong" - are much stronger boundaries around those of us who are on our own due to loss.
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theostracizedafrican
02:01 AM on 05/08/2012
You are crying out for societal acceptance as a never-married person. You want to segment into a powerful economic block, a lobbying force to push an agenda geared toward the full participation of the American Dream as a single never-married person.You already mentioned that never-marrieds represent a large portion of the population, but you somewhat feel that you are in some kind of afflicted or oppressed group.The PROBLEM you have is that in your social circles, you are not the norm.You are a single person hanging out with once or twice marrieds but you expect to face different questions than the ones you are getting. What kind of questions did you expect to encounter? If you love being single then please, by all means, do so. Just remember that at the end of the day, those people who are "shocked" that you are still single...They are not thinking about you as much as YOU think they are. They are far too involved in the rat race. They were just making small talk..Living in the moment. Get over yourself.Also, that bit about guys you flirt with being squeamish because you let them know you have never been married...it is just your imagination. If you give the guy the right signals, trust me, sooner or later he is going to "tap" that. Get real, lady. You were just teasing them in the first place.
10:21 AM on 05/08/2012
lol
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chiara0
The sleep of reason produces monsters.
05:03 PM on 05/07/2012
I say it's about time - we need to really get over such ridiculous stereotyping of single women.
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divorcedpauline
01:21 PM on 05/07/2012
Really interesting article. I hadn't really thought about it this way, but you're right -- most people do make these judgments. Kudos to you for marching to the beat of your own drummer. It's hard to do but the only way I think any of us can really be at peace. It's just too hard over the long haul to try to be something you're not.
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Jameslyons
12:59 PM on 05/07/2012
I think the woman condemns herself to being unhappy. She's chosen to be single and as such shouldn't be embarrassed by her choice nor accept the social stigma against single women. Also, she's had opportunities to marry, but doesn't even want her partners living with her, let alone fully committing to her.

She should know that just as she wants to be single, others want to find a partner. Even if that marriage lasts for 10 years, at least they had a family for that amount of time--hopefully longer. Men who are of a monogamous, relationship/family oriented mindset will be turned off at the concept of dating a woman with no interest in creating a family unit. It doesn't mean they're judging her objectively...it just means they're not interested in her romantically.

Overall, it sounds like the author put the stigma on her own single hood. I'm a family oriented guy, but have never bemoaned being single. I think its a great time to be yourself.
02:16 PM on 05/07/2012
@Jameslyons. Your post is weird in some ways. You are attributing all sorts of motives and view points to the author that I do not believe she even has.

For example, you said, "She's chosen to be single and as such shouldn't be embarrassed by her choice nor accept the social stigma against single women."

She's not embarrassed, from what I've seen, but society (or her circle of friends) is trying to make her feel that way, or trying to make her feel bad about her choice - which is what she is responding to.

Comments like this: "she shouldn't be embarrassed by her choice nor accept the social stigma against single women" is easier said than done, since a lot of people (and our entertainment industry) treat never married, older women (and men) like losers or strange/ dysfunctional people. It's something that's thrown in their faces all the time.

Maybe our culture needs to stop with the judgments about singleness, rather than you telling the victims of this stereotyping they need to change.
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Jameslyons
02:48 PM on 05/07/2012
I'm single right now and I don't feel a great stigma against me.  Perhaps, embarrassed was the wrong term...let's clarify it to...bothered. 
I thought it was odd that she was envious of divorcees who have their own cultural stigma attached.  I suppose I've never encountered the type of status hierarchy that she expresses. Maybe because I'm a man, maybe because I'm not yet middle age. I don't know. 
I understand that she feels her friends are attempting to make her feel that way...but I've never encountered anyone who tries to condemn somebody like that.  Again it may be my gender or age. 
I felt like she was reacting to the impression of persecution--when the originating incidents were probably harmless questions about her dating status. When couples ask single people about who they're dating...its merely a bi-product of coupledom.  They share lives together and are interested if their friend is sharing their life with somebody else. 
12:02 AM on 05/07/2012
I don't understand why so many people feel that people have to be married to be complete. In fact, I know many former married people whose marriages were F*cked up! To be sure there are a number of people in good, solid, happy marriages, but there are just as many, usually more couples, in unions that are far from happy.

Anyone who would tell someone to marry a person even though they did not love them, or even like them or thinks it is better to married multiple times as opposed to never being married is mentally challenged.
12:11 PM on 05/07/2012
Agreed. Absolutely no reason to enter into this union.

This system has been broken for some time and our government knows it.
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Jameslyons
01:00 PM on 05/07/2012
Usually because they want to be married. It's just what they want to do with their life--I'm not sure about women, but I'm certain the majority of men get married because they want to start a family unit, not because of social pressure.
12:22 PM on 05/08/2012
Exactly, we don't think of the marriage (i.e. wedding planning and rings) we think of raising a family. Men don't have fantasy of marriage (i.e the proposal the story book wedding) we think about being a father and raising a family.

We aren't concerned about the event we care about after the event. I assume that most women think about the event then the family. After the event(s) then thats when you find out what women you have.
09:43 PM on 05/06/2012
People have a difficult time understanding how different we can all be in our social and relationship needs.. I'm guessing that your colleagues are extroverts, in which case the idea of not wanting constant companionship is foreign to them. The other possibility is that talking about your "misfortune" makes the divorcees feel better about theirs.
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WilliamL
08:29 PM on 05/06/2012
Like it or not, single by choice or not, an older, never married woman represents a woman who has not been desired, wanted by a man for his wife. It might not be fair or even true but we know life it not fair.
01:13 PM on 05/07/2012
WilliamL, some women who have not been married past the age of 35 received marriage proposals when they were younger but for whatever reason turned those proposals down. That was true of me.

I was also flirted with a lot in my twenties and early thirties.

It's not that I was not desired by men but that I did not find any of those men that showed an interest good matches for me.
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WilliamL
09:37 PM on 05/07/2012
and surely the case with many but as I said, and surely not right, unwed older women are looked upon as if they have been unwanted when they were younger.
12:30 PM on 05/08/2012
I'd bet that you made a decision based on where he was at not where he's headed. We want the finished product the night in shinning armor. Marriage is a partnership between two people that need each other, one has something that the other needs and vice versa.

My wife was nothing what she is today when I first meet her (she wore flip flops and had basically zerro style and she had no job).

I made a dession to be with her because she was honest and trust worthy and she had the core principals that I looked for. She since stepped her fashion up, found a great carer, and is turning into a great mom.

It was tuff in the begining but i put the work in and believed in her. Sometime there a prince/princess inside but we have to see beyond the don;ts and see the basic principals of marriage.
06:43 PM on 05/06/2012
I complete
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TraceyES
06:17 PM on 05/06/2012
While I'm almost always happy with my wife/mother life, there are a few times -- notably when I've got a really good book and a really good bottle of wine -- that I envy you and women like you, Ms. Wells.
04:30 PM on 05/06/2012
I do see the point the author makes, however I'm stunned at her using "Faye" as an example of a happily unmarried woman. When she says that Faye's "lifestyle seemed to work for her", I wonder how it worked for the wives of all those men paying for Faye's jewelry. And as for Faye's comment that it's better to be a has-been than a never-was, if she had really been so full of "joie de vivre", I doubt that would have been her advice; it seems rather that she decided since she had never found a husband of her own, she would just use other women's husbands -- and their wallets -- for as long as it suited her. If "Faye" was the only never-married example this author could come up with, I wonder how valid the concept of "happily never-was" actually is.
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Eleanore S. Wells
06:08 PM on 05/06/2012
You are right. Faye always seemed a lot happier than she apparently was...which in no way means that others aren't "happily never-was."
04:12 PM on 05/06/2012
Excellent Article and sooo very true! I, too, have never been married--my choice. It's not that I'm against marriage and it's not that I haven't been asked (twice); it's that I don't believe in getting married just for the sake of being married (does that make sense?). My friends, those who married when they were young and foolish and those who started to panic when they neared 30 y.o. and settled for what they really didn't want, were never happy with their choices. I'm 71 y.o. and still waiting for my Prince Charming. If he should never show up, no problem. I've learned to be very independent, much more so than my married or divorced friends. No regrets.
12:37 PM on 05/08/2012
You fail to mention the weddings that you've been to the family events and all the other events that make you question your decision

I think some women use this as an excuse, I'm happy all by myself.

I'd bet there where a lot of lonely nights that you wish there was someone to laugh with, cry with.

I could be wrong and not having someone to love means there was a cat or dog.

We are made to love and love has to go some where.

I wonder how may article and books that you've read about how to find a man and how to get married etc.
05:31 PM on 05/08/2012
You missed my point! If I had gotten married just for the sake of being married, I wouldn't have been happy in the marriage. No one should "settle." I would welcome a man in my life who is trustworthy (first and foremost) and who shares the same values as I. Oh, yeah, and who isn't married and lying about it. Unfortunately, I haven't met that man as yet, but I still have hope.
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monicaspins
04:10 PM on 05/06/2012
I say .... stay single. Become a "Steel Magnolia". Make it work for you. I was single until I was 44 then got married and divorced at 66! It's OK. I learned a lot from my "X" but I really wasn't an unhappy single.Won't make the same mistake twice though. I'm single again and LOVING it! These have been the best 5 years of my life. Yep, I'm going on 72 and enjoying the ride. Surrounded by Steel Magnolias and living happy days. God is good!
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forensicb
Forensic Consultant Retired
03:43 PM on 05/06/2012
I am a little surprised that this is a subject worthy of a special essay or article...

I think of my own happy 56 years with June until she was taken away by Alzheimer's...by coincidence, I just added this essay to her website in her honor and memory...

While you may disagree, I look at our meeting as a Divine appointment...

http://junebergalzheimers.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=225&Itemid=506

I always said that she made my life an adventure...
04:14 PM on 05/06/2012
That's wonderful and rare, but that was your choice, not necessarily everyone else's choice. At least you know you made the right choice for yourself. Sorry you had to go through the heartache of Alzheimer's--a terrible disease. She was very lucky to have had you in her life.
09:51 PM on 05/06/2012
Eleanor's choice to remain single in no way diminishes your relationship with your wife. She's not trying to sell the appeal of a single life... Merely pointing out how others don't "get it" with regard to her lifestyle.

Enjoy the good memories of your wife.
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forensicb
Forensic Consultant Retired
10:34 PM on 05/06/2012
Of course it was not...what is strange is not that she was single but that she would envy those who were divorced!