Art of Attention: Remapping Our Minds

Love really is a state of equality consciousness: no speculation, no assumptions or opinions. Love is happening when we're relating, directly, to what is happening. Lately I've been learning how to relate directly to my life rather than through my memories or expectations. I'm actively rooting out my expressions of anger by paying $1 for every doubting thought. My anger, I've realized, is just sad doubt which, unchecked, morphs into aggression. I'm averaging about two bucks per day, down from about eight at the beginning, then two weeks later down to four or five per day. Not bad.

While at first it was annoying and mildly horrifying, it's funny to label them now. There's the doubt that I'm good enough at anything, or the one where my boyfriend might leave, or that one about what a mediocre teacher I am, or what a shitty mama I'm being. (Note: Those of you who know and love me, I know the doubts are untrue, but there they are, again and again.) I'm thrilled by the prospect of getting deeper into the process of seeing it all so clearly and plainly in order to ultimately clear them out of my world.

So presumably because of all this detailed work, these days I'm hearing myself angry in my dreams, calling people names out of fear that they will leave me or wrong me. Strangest bit is that I always get the "do-over" in my dreams; I somehow get to literally pause, rewind and rewrite the scene now. (Note: I do this with my son a lot, offer him the "do-over" so he can have a second chance to do the right thing, before I get that angry face going. What a revolution that has been for both of us.) It's incredible. I awaken from those dreams refreshed, reset, rewired.

Which brings me to the potentiality with which we are playing now. Remapping our minds.

Firstly, with the assignment of seeing each doubting thought (bless you Beth Weissenberger), we can become true masters of our minds and authors of our lives. In real time. Excruciating initially, this really does feel like a victory within myself when I open up that memo in my phone and note those thoughts each day. Beth says to go for six weeks in order to reboot the system. I'm nearing the end of week four.

Secondly, that potential "reboot" is actually the exhilarating possibility of re-mapping our brains. Meditation is a key aspect of this, and with even short meditations plus assiduous observation of those debilitating thoughts, our brains literally re-map themselves. With this we really do find more space, clarity and consciousness. We really do have longer-term, more healing experiences of love. May we all stay in love -- in direct relationship to the crazy wisdom of this present moment.

For more by Elena Brower, click here.

For more on mindfulness, click here.

 

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Comments

[Jonathan Angelilli]

06:59 AM on 03/20/2012

Beautiful post, beautiful practice, beautiful author. Thanks for sharing.

[khanti]

08:19 PM on 03/19/2012

Good article Ms Elena, it is difficult to stay the moment we need practice. When there is attachment the mind looses mindfulness easily and we once again fall into our like and dislike. The be mindful and stay the moment is to awaken from the state of being deluded into the two states of like and dislike.

[kmitchll59]

03:36 PM on 03/19/2012

@kmitchll59, self doubt comes from the insecurities that displayed thru the media thru repetition. When you constantly play the tune then you suddenly know the words.

[MRstoner2udude]

07:53 AM on 03/19/2012

Excellent, thanks for sharing and guiding. The present moment is where all our potential for joy, love and all good "stuff" resides (clean emotions for instance). We can't live in the past or the future. Whatever challenges we have in the present moment can be handled with meditation and guiding ourselves back to the present, where it's all good. I know many of us have been thru terrible things, but we need to ask ourselves if we want to identify with the past or embrace the moment we live in NOW.

[stilllearning2b]

07:14 AM on 03/19/2012

I love the thought of tying a payment to the thought; it would help to create awareness of the thought, which is the whole point. BTW, I share your same doubts, wanna pick up the tab?:)
http://lessonsfromtheendofamarriage.com

[Jeffrey Cannon]

10:36 PM on 03/18/2012

Wonderfully put Elena. It is a wonderful blend of physically remapping our minds and tapping into the wonderful energy that we all swim in. An amazing threshold in time where a metaphysical bridge is being created over the Pacific - joining Western science and Eastern philosophy together. The results of which can be astounding in transforming one's life.

[shreddy]

04:19 PM on 03/18/2012

We allow ourselves the emotions we feel, may they be negative or positive, and we can also master them in whatever way we want. I still feel sad and self-pity at times, only because I allow them, and they make me feel human, just as I allow myself to feel other array of emotions, but none too volatile. What's human condition if it's not for our feelings? Without feelings we are nothing but another branch in the "Evolutionary tree". Being able to feel and express them is our specialty. Isn't it? But, it's quite liberating and awesome to know you can control both what you feel, and how you express them. It is only painful to see others suffer and pass around the suffering needlessly. But I also know the need to do so (control emotions, especially anger) has to come from within (a pivotal point), and has to surpass the threshold of pain of not doing so, and, no matter how much you profess it, will be useless otherwise. Once you realize you don't want to be angry, all you do is to tell yourself just that, and believe it. Believe it and be aware of it, and it happens sooner or later, depending on your determination, and the depth of realization of how useless it is to be in the state of anger. Nothing can ever be accomplished by being angry, at least, not as efficiently as it could, if in calm and collective state of mind.

[shreddy]

04:11 PM on 03/18/2012

Elena,
Years ago, when I still naively thought perfect justice existed, I was fuming with/for the injustices done towards me by others, mainly my spouse and the big guy up there. I was frequently in a state of anger and hated it, because I was loosing happy and carefree time with my children and myself, and that's the last thing I wanted. I innately knew, that anger was a useless emotion, and is solely used to bully either others or ourselves into doing something we want them to do. I wanted it to be taken away from me by someone else. It was after some introspection, I realized I created my own anger, and was simply there (state of anger) because I allowed myself to be there, and others allowed me to be in that state as well, so they can be exonerated by letting me stay angry, and feeling guilty for being angry. Most importantly, I realized it was I who had to get myself out of that state, although not sure if it was even possible. Sure I heard about hermits and yogis conquering all emotions, but didn't know if I had it in me to actually get anger out of my system. . Now I don’t get angry, except a short living urge at times, being conscious and alert of any situation that might warrant an angry emotion, and because I am aware, can easily dismiss it.

Please allow me to continue in the next comment

[gmikejake]

06:12 AM on 03/19/2012

Sometimes, anger is quite motivating, when channeled into productive pursuits. Anger is a legitimate emotion given the range of experiences faced by many humans. What you do with it is another question.

[TrinidaddeGuerreros]

08:04 AM on 03/19/2012

I have found this to be quite true. Some of my greatest accomplishments were begun out of an initial anger ... usually when someone in my life did not think I could do something. It's learning how to channel anger that can be the biggest hurdle. Anger doesn't always have to be negative. Truthfully, much good in the world has resulted from it.