Michael Jackson: Your Man In Your Mirror

The thumping, glittery brilliance of Michael Jackson made him an icon. I watched fans carry homemade portraits of him (much like the gilded icons of Jesus carried in Greek Orthodox Churches) to mourn his passing." Seeing the astonishing outpouring of grief and celebration shows us that he was the dictionary definition of the word icon: "a person or thing regarded as a representative symbol of something." Jackson had all the things that have been highly prized in our culture: fame, fortune, and talent. Yet, it was very obvious that all of those outer trappings didn't bring him contentment. It is easy to look at Jackson's life and gawk at his excesses. He entertained us rather than living a life that was based on the deeper longing of his heart and soul. We have projected our inner genius and inner freak on this deceased entertainer. Merely seeing him as a symbol bypasses the internal learning we can gain from his life. However, his life offers an opportunity for looking had how he was and "the man in the mirror" for our own longings.

You Can Never Get Enough Of What You Don't Really Want
As a symbol of American consumer spending, Jackson died in debt. According to The Wall Street Journal, Michael died about $500 million in debt. (Americans carry $2.56 trillion in consumer debt, up 22 percent since 2000 alone, according to the Federal Reserve Board.)

I am still scratching my head about Jackson's finances. How could a person amass that much debt? Then I remember watching a BBC special about Jackson back in 2003. Jackson was filmed spending $6 million on a shopping excursion in Las Vegas. He gathered up antiques the way you or I toss carrots in a grocery cart. Like many Americans, Jackson used compulsive shopping as a way to dull the pain of open wounds from his childhood. As I reflect on my Inner MIchael, I see my own longing for acceptance. I certainly have used buying a new pair of shoes or several pair if they were on sale to calm my jangled nerves. How can I offer the kindness instead of criticism to those parts of myself I find ugly and unacceptable? What about you?

Plastic Please
There are stories about Jackson feeling so ugly as a child that he wanted to wear a mask on stage, and numerous accounts of his father taunting him and calling him "Fat Nose." In her wonderful post, Judith Rich exposed Michael Jackson's pain: "Michael Jackson: It Hurts To Be Me." Like the rest of us, he used a complex array of destructive behaviors to dull his inner aching. As a symbol of Americans' distaste for their appearances, he expressed his internal pain through war with his body. (Researcher J.J. Brumberg found that 53% of 13-year-old girls were dissatisfied with their appearance. That figure jumps to 73% for 17-year-olds. Instead of dealing with his internal demons, he focused on fixing his outsides.

Jackson had the funds to 'fix his face.' Here is Michael's face morphing. Reports say that he had so many nose jobs that his surgeons dared not risk another one. His surgeon stated that he began to fake surgeries, persuading Jackson that they had done further surgery when they had not. This need to fix his outsides was a call for the longing to heal his insides.
Like most Americans, Jackson was under the persistent pressure to perform. I see my own crazy schedule and realize that I often put my work before my own nurturing. What about you? Michael Jackson had stadiums of adoring fans screaming his name. It appears that external adoration couldn't heal the desperate pain he felt inside. As I look at myself, I see that I have judged a sudden eruption of fat around my stomach. Since it is bikini season, I am constantly aware of this unwelcome addition to my body. Could I accept myself more? How about you?

Man in The Mirror
For all his fame and wealth, he didn't get a chance to live the life he wanted. He was a shy and very sensitive person. The loudness and brashness of his job must have been very tough on those tender nerves. I believe that many of us are using him to mourn not getting to live the life we wanted. Each of us has a Michael Jackson inside. Each of us is both brilliant and wounded. If you dive deep enough into those areas of freaky-crazy-darkness you will find that at their core they are an expression of love as well. In my practice, I am continually in awe of the human spirit and what it can create. There is incredible preciousness inside each of us. We get so distracted by the tornado of circumstances in our lives that we forget to focus on that gleaming beauty inside. Tina Brown brought up a super point in an interview on NPR on Tuesday. She spoke about how Michael Jackson's death liberated him from the sleaze and allows us to celebrate his soaring talent. That comment brought me back to the symbolism of the icon. How can I rise above my limitations ? How can I more clearly live my life as a demonstration of the shining preciousness of my core? Can you claim more of the deep value inside?

How To Make An Icon
Several years ago, I made a sort of icon. It was a watercolor figure that depicted God sharing energy through me. Seeing that image above my desk helped me to reconnect with my 'mission' during the very long hours of finishing my book. In Eastern Orthodox Churches icons are carried to aid worshipers in their devotion. What if you could create an Icon to express the blazing majesty of your Soul and its contribution here? Yes, I know that some of you will rake me over the coals as "woo woo" and cheesy. That's okay. If you actually give this exercise a whirl you will watch your inner life transform.

Supplies: A large blank piece of paper or two, your favorite art supplies, and a few minutes of private time.

1. Center Yourself.
Take in a deep breath. Let it out. Now, breathe in the good. Exhale the lousy. Do these three times as you begin to feel more centered.

2. Ask for the Greatest Good.
Take a moment and connect with your authentic nature. The best way to create more of what you want is to begin the process in a state of unity with your source. When you remember your spiritual nature, it is good to remember that you are interconnected with all those that inhabit our earth. It is for the highest good of all concerned.

3. Set Your Intention.
Set your intention to empower yourself. What would it feel like to live from your authentic goodness? Wouldn't your world be a better place? You bet!

4. Write It Down.
Now it's time to put it on paper! Write: "I, [your name], claim and manifest my good. Everyday I enjoy more health, wealth, happiness, and love." It's your life. Make your Icon just the way you want it. Use all the color and glitter you like! If you are a visual person, you might use colors and images instead of words.

5. Use Your Natural Resources.
What are a few of the positive qualities at your core? What are your strengths? Add three of these positive qualities or strengths to your Icon. For instance: "Inside me I use love in every way I can, I laugh more often, use my creativity, and speak my truth with kindness." Go for it!

6. Post It.
Post your Icon with pride. The very best place to put it is where you see will it just before falling asleep at night. That helps your unconscious to absorb the images.

7. Thank Yourself.
Thank yourself for making the positive choice to honor your essence.

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Comments

[blaqntelligence]

Ms. Davidson,

I love your turn of phrase:

"The thumping, glittery brilliance of Michael Jackson..."

" those areas of freaky-cra­zy-darknes­s you will find that at their core they are an expression of love as well.

Excellent article, very thought-provoking

[Eli Davidson - Huffpost Blogger]

Hot dog! You have no idea how much your taking the time to appreciate the curves of my turns of phrase means to me.

I give me the juice to keep on tapping on these little plastic keys.

Eli

[DivergentMary]

Hi Eli ~~~ Just a note to tell you that you are the first person that I ever fanned when I first joined HP. :-)

I really appreciate your insight and very much agree with the things that you've said in this article.

Back in the '70s I remember going to an education workshop (I was an art teacher) where we divided up into groups with huge pieces of butcher paper. Each person would lie down upon his or her sheet of paper and allow others in our group to trace us with a crayon. We then wrote descriptive words about ourselves all over our paper image and added colors and drawings. I remember it as being very liberating, and I used the technique with my elementary art students. They loved it!

Reading about your 'icon' concept reminded me of this very enlightening experience from my past.

Ahhhh, the '70s . . . *grin*

Afterthought: I wonder where I put it? I'm sure I didn't throw it away . . .

[Eli Davidson - Huffpost Blogger]

Divergen tMary!!!!
Do you have any, any, any idea how much your comment means to me???? Probably not.

Thank you for being an appreciator of the crayon school of personal growth. (I love that wonderful 'game'.

Bless you for sharing!
Eli

[jimmyjones22]

A very interesting post, Eli.

I'd like to add that Icons are almost never realized while they are still with us. As the saying goes, the light that burns twice as bright burns half as long.

Another interesting twist is that most iconic figures are a mix of contradicting emotions. Like Jackson - the child in a mans body, invincible on stage as much as he was vulnerable to his own destructive self image. This is a good allegory to our own personalities.

Like Friedrich Nietzsche said:

"After all, what would be "beautiful" if the contradiction had not first become conscious of itself, if the ugly had not first said to itself: "I am ugly"?”

[Eli Davidson - Huffpost Blogger]

What an interesting quote!

Like Friedrich Nietzsche said:

"After all, what would be "beautiful" if the contradiction had not first become conscious of itself, if the ugly had not first said to itself: "I am ugly"?"

[dst1]

Eli, I've never put a name on my icon board, now it has one. For 50 years I've collected family pictures along with our history and two years ago when I hit 70 and things were not all that great, I went to work on the icon board. In my world my family all belong on the board above my computer, they watch over me and keep driving me in the right direction. There is nothing better for opening up our thoughts to the world around us like the mirror our family can show us.

[Eli Davidson - Huffpost Blogger]

What an incredible beautiful thing to share.
I feel blessed to know of your angels!

[cobobs]

I would also like look at his last interview, with Ebony Magazine, which by all accounts was profound and thoughful. How do I find it? I also think the "war on drugs" is ridiculous, because it is often a war on the walking wounded. When people cannot delight in life and need to blunt the pain, it is counterintuitive that we use harshness instead of healing. We have never asked ourselves the question why we consume so much drugs in America. We condemn before we understand. Perhaps Eli Davidson will examine this question another time, but MJ's predicament caused me to think. His using drugs did not make him evil and worthy of a seat in hell, and that might just be true of others.

For the record, I have never used drugs apart from the occasional beer, but would like to participate in a peyote ceremony or similar spiritual consumption of mind expanding substances some day.

[Eli Davidson - Huffpost Blogger]

Dear Cobos,
The projections that we as a society put on Michael Jackson are merely out-picturing or our own internal perspective. I think you will see that I didn't call MJ evi. I did invite readers to reclaim their projected energy.

Thank you for sharing your perspective,
Eli Davidson

[weatherwaxx]

The icon exercise is a terrific idea... but I do wish people would stop assuming that everyone in the whole world loved Michael Jackson's music. I found the thumpy, glittery falsetto pop completely unappealing.

I'm not objecting to people expressing their love for Jackson's music or for Michael himself. I'm just getting a little weary of everyone in the blogosphere jumping on teh wagon to get into google searches.

[Eli Davidson - Huffpost Blogger]

Hi There,
I appreciate that you are interested in The Icon Process. Giving readers tips on reclaiming both negative and positive projection in under 900 words was an interesting excercise.

Thanks again.
Eli

[Ron Mirenda - Huffpost Blogger]

Dearest Eli,
While you typically write helpful, humorous and inspiring posts, this one is, I believe, the best I have read in months. It is both so introspective and sensitive that it reaches deeply into the inner recesses of our souls (with yours as the vulnerable example) and aptly describes the torment we all endure as we attempt to value ourselves throughout our lives. Yes, we all have our "Inner Michael", our Inner Child, that "brilliant and wounded" tender being we need to nurture and care for. It is just how lovingly how each of us does that, that makes the difference in the adult we are.
Who of us is not harsher and crueler with our selves than we are with others? How overwhelmingly does that discourage our inner light from shining up from deep within our soul, through our eyes ,into the world? Your suggestion of making a personal icon to help protect and grow that tender shoot of self esteem and self value is so caring and thoughtful. I am sure it will inspire many of us to reach back and strenghten our resolve to grow that vulnerable, innocent spirit inside each of us into a strong, loving human being.
Thank you again,
Ron Mirenda

[Eli Davidson - Huffpost Blogger]

Dear Ron,
I am so very blessed to have the great honor of sharing in profound connection with you. I certainly aim to "attempt to value ourselves throughout our lives. Yes, we all have our "Inner Michael", our Inner Child, that "brilliant and wounded" tender being we need to nurture and care for. It is just how lovingly how each of us does that, that makes the difference in the adult we are."

You are a shining example of a a person with a deep commitment to " resolve to grow that vulnerable, innocent spirit inside each of us into a strong, loving human being."

Thank YOU!!!
Eli Davidson

[DiogenesOfAlaska]

It's certainly not my job to defend Michael Jackson's legacy here. In particular since I agree with almost everything you say.

But when you write that
'Instead of dealing with his internal demons, he focused on fixing his outsides'
I must caution that this is a half-truth: his artistic achievements of the 1980s were thoroughly impossible without him successfully dealing with internal demons.

What you suggest to do with our favorite art supplies reinforces that point. It would be a bad idea - and maybe the worst idea ever - to take Michael Jackson's pain as an indication that finding the source of one's own creativity isn't worth it.

His story is profoundly ambiguous, and it so even more than needs to be taken into account for us mortals when we make up our minds about our future. In a sense, we also profit from being 'laterborns', precisely because of the precedent set by Michael Jackson. And this could be the main thing that we owe him.

[DiogenesOfAlaska]

should read: it is so even more...

[Eli Davidson - Huffpost Blogger]

Hi There,
I believe that each of us can create a life that is authentic. We can create a vision board to remind us of our essence- which is far more magnificent than any word or picture could embrace.

Best,
Eli

[LiberalEastTexan]

Wait - Michael Jackson died?

When did this happen?

[Eli Davidson - Huffpost Blogger]

You are a riot!

[livesbythec]

What a sensitive and enlightening post. I do feel that the only things that truly brought joy and validation to MJ's life, were his children and performing. I hope that wherever he is now, his spirit is finally at peace, and he can feel the love and energy from those that truly cared about him.

[Jason Mannino - Huffpost Blogger]

Thank you for asking us to look at how the icon of Michael is a reflection of our own inner icons. I LOVE THIS! I'M TAKING IT ON!

Love,
Jason

[Eli Davidson - Huffpost Blogger]

Hi Jason,
How amazing to discuss the posts on line that were cooking in our brains as we helped out at the LA Food Bank! It was and is an honor to be sharing with you.

Cool! I want to hear about your experience, being your own icon (or claiming your positive projection._

Love,
Eli

[Dr. Judith Rich - Huffpost Blogger]

Dear Eli,

Just getting my sea legs after surgery and read your post. Wonderful insight and wisdom! Indeed, to some extent, we all have the same wounds as Michael. That person looking back in the mirror has its own version of his insecurity, his need for love, his need to be understood. We've all been misunderstood or judged by those who never really knew us.

Thanks for referencing the article I posted last week. Having been in the hospital and a bit out of the loop, coming back to the media, I see it's the same old, same old fascination with the lurid details of his death. Except for your post, my dear. Thank you for shedding a thoughtful, insightful light on the subject and inviting us to look at ourselves for a refreshing change. Your writing reflects your care and sensitivity about this deeply touching material.

I pray that Michael's soul is now at peace.

Bless you,
Judith

[Eli Davidson - Huffpost Blogger]

Dearest Judith,
It doesn't get better than you! My prayers are with your healing to radiant and vibrant health. Your incredible post was such an inspiration- as is all your work.

Please know that I embrace you in loving,
Eli

[crayola 08b]

great read. it also made me realize that maybe we all could have been a little more understanding of michael while he has alive, instead of just calling him a freak and "wacko jacko". now that he's dead and we're delving into the childhood i've gained a better understanding of what made the man who he was. not only did he have so many psychological problems that stemmed from his childhood and his unique celebrity life he also quite a few physical ailments that also played a role in how he presented himself to the public. it seems clear that alot of his "eccentricities" can be traced back to either psychological or physical scarring.

[Eli Davidson - Huffpost Blogger]

Hi There,
Thank you for sharing your perspective on this complex human being. I think that each of us can learn so much about ourselves by looking in the mirror when we project our own scarring on anyone else.

Best,
Eli

[Mark Goulston, M.D. - Huffpost Blogger]

Eli,
Informative, thoughtful and with a prescriptive takeaway. Who could ask for anything more.
I love what and how you write.
Mark

[Eli Davidson - Huffpost Blogger]

Dear mark,
Your posts are so fascinating! Obama and Freud...who would have coupled both those "Icons"
I am a huge fan of your work and would love to connect off line!

Eli

[Dimitra Ekmektsis]

Thanks for your honesty, Eli!