Michael Jackson: Your Man In Your Mirror

The thumping, glittery brilliance of Michael Jackson made him an icon. I watched fans carry homemade portraits of him (much like the gilded icons of Jesus carried in Greek Orthodox Churches) to mourn his passing." Seeing the astonishing outpouring of grief and celebration shows us that he was the dictionary definition of the word icon: "a person or thing regarded as a representative symbol of something." Jackson had all the things that have been highly prized in our culture: fame, fortune, and talent. Yet, it was very obvious that all of those outer trappings didn't bring him contentment. It is easy to look at Jackson's life and gawk at his excesses. He entertained us rather than living a life that was based on the deeper longing of his heart and soul. We have projected our inner genius and inner freak on this deceased entertainer. Merely seeing him as a symbol bypasses the internal learning we can gain from his life. However, his life offers an opportunity for looking had how he was and "the man in the mirror" for our own longings.

You Can Never Get Enough Of What You Don't Really Want
As a symbol of American consumer spending, Jackson died in debt. According to The Wall Street Journal, Michael died about $500 million in debt. (Americans carry $2.56 trillion in consumer debt, up 22 percent since 2000 alone, according to the Federal Reserve Board.)

I am still scratching my head about Jackson's finances. How could a person amass that much debt? Then I remember watching a BBC special about Jackson back in 2003. Jackson was filmed spending $6 million on a shopping excursion in Las Vegas. He gathered up antiques the way you or I toss carrots in a grocery cart. Like many Americans, Jackson used compulsive shopping as a way to dull the pain of open wounds from his childhood. As I reflect on my Inner MIchael, I see my own longing for acceptance. I certainly have used buying a new pair of shoes or several pair if they were on sale to calm my jangled nerves. How can I offer the kindness instead of criticism to those parts of myself I find ugly and unacceptable? What about you?

Plastic Please
There are stories about Jackson feeling so ugly as a child that he wanted to wear a mask on stage, and numerous accounts of his father taunting him and calling him "Fat Nose." In her wonderful post, Judith Rich exposed Michael Jackson's pain: "Michael Jackson: It Hurts To Be Me." Like the rest of us, he used a complex array of destructive behaviors to dull his inner aching. As a symbol of Americans' distaste for their appearances, he expressed his internal pain through war with his body. (Researcher J.J. Brumberg found that 53% of 13-year-old girls were dissatisfied with their appearance. That figure jumps to 73% for 17-year-olds. Instead of dealing with his internal demons, he focused on fixing his outsides.

Jackson had the funds to 'fix his face.' Here is Michael's face morphing. Reports say that he had so many nose jobs that his surgeons dared not risk another one. His surgeon stated that he began to fake surgeries, persuading Jackson that they had done further surgery when they had not. This need to fix his outsides was a call for the longing to heal his insides.
Like most Americans, Jackson was under the persistent pressure to perform. I see my own crazy schedule and realize that I often put my work before my own nurturing. What about you? Michael Jackson had stadiums of adoring fans screaming his name. It appears that external adoration couldn't heal the desperate pain he felt inside. As I look at myself, I see that I have judged a sudden eruption of fat around my stomach. Since it is bikini season, I am constantly aware of this unwelcome addition to my body. Could I accept myself more? How about you?

Man in The Mirror
For all his fame and wealth, he didn't get a chance to live the life he wanted. He was a shy and very sensitive person. The loudness and brashness of his job must have been very tough on those tender nerves. I believe that many of us are using him to mourn not getting to live the life we wanted. Each of us has a Michael Jackson inside. Each of us is both brilliant and wounded. If you dive deep enough into those areas of freaky-crazy-darkness you will find that at their core they are an expression of love as well. In my practice, I am continually in awe of the human spirit and what it can create. There is incredible preciousness inside each of us. We get so distracted by the tornado of circumstances in our lives that we forget to focus on that gleaming beauty inside. Tina Brown brought up a super point in an interview on NPR on Tuesday. She spoke about how Michael Jackson's death liberated him from the sleaze and allows us to celebrate his soaring talent. That comment brought me back to the symbolism of the icon. How can I rise above my limitations ? How can I more clearly live my life as a demonstration of the shining preciousness of my core? Can you claim more of the deep value inside?

How To Make An Icon
Several years ago, I made a sort of icon. It was a watercolor figure that depicted God sharing energy through me. Seeing that image above my desk helped me to reconnect with my 'mission' during the very long hours of finishing my book. In Eastern Orthodox Churches icons are carried to aid worshipers in their devotion. What if you could create an Icon to express the blazing majesty of your Soul and its contribution here? Yes, I know that some of you will rake me over the coals as "woo woo" and cheesy. That's okay. If you actually give this exercise a whirl you will watch your inner life transform.

Supplies: A large blank piece of paper or two, your favorite art supplies, and a few minutes of private time.

1. Center Yourself.
Take in a deep breath. Let it out. Now, breathe in the good. Exhale the lousy. Do these three times as you begin to feel more centered.

2. Ask for the Greatest Good.
Take a moment and connect with your authentic nature. The best way to create more of what you want is to begin the process in a state of unity with your source. When you remember your spiritual nature, it is good to remember that you are interconnected with all those that inhabit our earth. It is for the highest good of all concerned.

3. Set Your Intention.
Set your intention to empower yourself. What would it feel like to live from your authentic goodness? Wouldn't your world be a better place? You bet!

4. Write It Down.
Now it's time to put it on paper! Write: "I, [your name], claim and manifest my good. Everyday I enjoy more health, wealth, happiness, and love." It's your life. Make your Icon just the way you want it. Use all the color and glitter you like! If you are a visual person, you might use colors and images instead of words.

5. Use Your Natural Resources.
What are a few of the positive qualities at your core? What are your strengths? Add three of these positive qualities or strengths to your Icon. For instance: "Inside me I use love in every way I can, I laugh more often, use my creativity, and speak my truth with kindness." Go for it!

6. Post It.
Post your Icon with pride. The very best place to put it is where you see will it just before falling asleep at night. That helps your unconscious to absorb the images.

7. Thank Yourself.
Thank yourself for making the positive choice to honor your essence.

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Comments

[Ed and Deb Shapiro - Huffpost Blogger]

Dear One * Eli * .. I am so happy you are a sister blogger for HP

Your heart is as big as the Universe

Great post

I was at a Michael Jackson concert a while ago... I was close and couldn't believe how amazing he was... his moonwalk was brilliant.. I was a professional dancer so it was special to see someone who had what it takes.
Your whole blog is important and I hope those that read it drink from your cup..

Big Love,

Ed

[Eli Davidson - Huffpost Blogger]

Dearest Ed,
I am always taken with the level of loving and kindness that flows off the page from you.

Whether a post or a comment- you love in such a tremendously magnificent way.

What a blessing to be sharing with YOU1
Love,
Eli

[cgracec]

Eh...I think it is hard to define MJ's life without personally knowing him. That BBC documentary in 2003 was a sham. There are videos on Youtube that show the unedited footage and it looks so different without Bashir interjecting his own opinions (so much for being a documentary, eh?) and editing certain parts out. I think MJ was happy and satisfied with his life. Sure, he suffered a lot as a child but as he said, he wouldn't have changed anything about his life. I think he was very happy being with his children and interacting with his family and millions of fans.

[Eli Davidson - Huffpost Blogger]

Hi There,
Certainly, I have no idea of what it is like to live in anyone else's body. It is likely that he was not particularly comfortable in his skin. The evidence is both his drug use and his frequent plastic surgery.

A friend sat next to he and his kids a few years ago. (What an interesting experience.) She said he was a great Dad and the kids were wonderful. I am sure that he had a great deal of joy.

The intention is to look inside ourselves and discover how he refects part of our own consciuousness.

Best,
Eli

[cgracec]

Hmmm...you bring up an interesting point with the statement about his "drug use and his frequent plastic surgery". It is likely that he may not have been comfortable in his own skin, but I don't know whether the drug use and plastic surgery is a consequence of low self-esteem or simply physical problems. He did have lupus and vitiligo, and as you know lupus does cause awful scarring and health problems and vitiligo is a vicious process (there are many pictures that show the vitiligo especially during the thriller-bad era when he wasn't able to hide it very well). Perhaps he was ashamed of having those health problems, because he wasn't very forthcoming about them. Perhaps his drug use was to dull the pain both from dancing very intensively all through his life as well as from complications with lupus. Perhaps his plastic surgery on his nose in particular was because of his father's constant taunting, calling him "fat-nosed" all the time. No one will ever really know I suppose.

Nevertheless, your article was a unique take on MJ's life and it was good that it could apply to our lives.

[reader39]

I enjoyed this post since I think you hit the nail on the head about why MJ's story is so tragic and a lesson for us all.

I once read that most people would choose "being famous" over practically anything else. Who is more famous than MJ? Who is more talented? He was filthy rich and before all the surgeries, he was also very handsome. He had everything that anybody could want but he was still on painkillers and somehow in debt and obviously unhappy. As this post pointed out, he could not accept himself, even with all of his fame and talent and wealth. It would have been interesting to see what kind of life he could have had if he could have found inner peace (especially for his beautiful children).

[Eli Davidson - Huffpost Blogger]

Dear Reader 39,
I wonder if each of us choose a path that was deeply honoring and authentic. My intention was to take the spotlight off of MJ and use his life for inner reflection.

Thanks so much for supporting our world in being more compassionate,
Eli

[BitterSpiritualist]

TGIE!

Okay, let's see if the third time is a charm, the last two attempts at commenting were rejected. I'm guessing plugging my own blog is a no go, so I will avoid self promotion. Which I guess this last sentence is, but not directly.

I love the idea of creating my own Icon. I will do it when I get back from my visit to Boston. I can see it hanging in a place of honor on my creativity board.

Fantastic work as always Eli, informative and insightful.

Thanks for the making Fridays extra special.

Love and Light to you and your readers,
Brendan

[Eli Davidson - Huffpost Blogger]

Hey Bitter,
Egads! I wish I could make commenting easier here on HP. I both hear this and experience it myself. Alot!!! (You are in good company as far as the Comment Snatchers. Grammy winner Allie Willis wrote an incredible comment on one of my posts only to find it disappear.)

Thank you for hanging in there and proving that the third time is a charm! What's up with your incredible blog not being mentioned!
I will be taking some time off over the summer...and will miss your incredible writing!

Your Fan,
Eli

[Eli Davidson - Huffpost Blogger]

Hi Timmy,
Thank you for seeing your image in the mirror! It takes such courage to see all of yourself warts and all.

[Anne Naylor - Huffpost Blogger]

Beautiful article, Eli, thank you!

As I reflect on the outpouring of grief for Michael Jackson, I am reminded of a similar outpouring in England over Princess Diana's death. Wounded children both, very much in the public eye, adored and controversial. They must give mirrors for many of us.

And yes, we each hold a magnificent human spirit to honour and celebrate.

With love and appreciation for your courageous spirit,
Anne

[Eli Davidson - Huffpost Blogger]

Dearest Anne,
Bless your loving comment on the post.It takes courage to look into the mirror and see ourselves- genius and our warts...and love it all.

I adore you and your brilliance,
Eli

[nerakami]

well, well.... bravo that finally, some of us are rising above the lure of gossip and sordid details to catch a glimpse of what Michael Jackson's life can represent for us and more importantly, the lessons we all can take away.

There is another point I would like to add to your rather insightful piece and that is the importance of BALANCE in our lives. Poor Michael didn't have a chance... his young life was always to the extremes, too many rehearsal hours - no play time, too many performances - not enough l let me enjoy the simplicity of life time therefore, it is no surprise in his adult life, he did everything to the extreme. That is what he was taught, it is what he knew.... all his obsessions and distorted self-perceptions went to the ultimate extremes costing him his life.... Moderation is good - as a means of maintaining the harmony in our lives...

[Eli Davidson - Huffpost Blogger]

Hi Nerakami,
Thank you so much for for looking at the lessons each of us can learn from Michael Jackson's life. You bring up such a great point about balance. It is such a profound lesson! I so appreciate your sharing it.

We as a culture are not living in the beauty of balance and moderation, so Jackson is another perfect symbol. Americans have lived lives of great excess- just look at our national debt, our sleep debt and our health debt (growing obesity) as examples.

In my own life I see a great opportunity for living in greater balance, and honored to share this intention with you!

[Timmy14]

Eli- Thanks again for a wonderful post! Interesting twist on creating an inner icon, for some it would be worth a try! Don't knock it unless you have tried I guess.
T