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Eliot Nelson
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Entries by Eliot Nelson

HUFFPOST HILL - 'Please Clap,' Democratic Party Asks

(0) Comments | Posted July 25, 2016 | 5:18 PM

Greetings from the Democratic National Convention in Philadelphia, where all of your Tim Kaine hot takes have literally driven temperatures into the high 90s (good job!). Debbie Wasserman Schultz was booed off the stage at a Florida delegation event, though we’re pretty sure the crowd was just saying,”Boooooooooo-y...

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Obama: Donald Trump's Ideas Betray America

(0) Comments | Posted July 24, 2016 | 11:09 AM

Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump is undermining America’s values with his campaign rhetoric and is unprepared to be commander-in-chief, President Barack Obama said during an interview that aired on CBS’ “Face the Nation” Sunday morning.

“If we start engaging in the kinds...

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Sanders Calls DNC Leak 'Outrageous,' Calls For New DNC Chair

(0) Comments | Posted July 24, 2016 | 10:20 AM

Sen. Bernie Sanders (I-Vt.) on Sunday called the leak of Democratic National Committee emails suggesting a bias against his presidential campaign “outrageous” and reiterated his call for DNC Chairwoman Rep. Debbie Wasserman Schultz (Fla.) to resign.  

The senator got his wish hours later, when Wasserman...

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Trump Says He's Expanded His Proposed Muslim Ban

(0) Comments | Posted July 24, 2016 | 9:40 AM

Donald Trump now says his acceptance speech at the Republican National Convention featured a call to expand his proposed ban on Muslim immigration to the United States, after the GOP presidential nominee appeared to temper his language on the subject during his remarks.

“I...

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A Polar Bear Walks Into A Bar, And Other Scenes From The RNC

(0) Comments | Posted July 22, 2016 | 2:12 PM


CLEVELAND ― On Monday, after futilely navigating the security perimeter at the Republican National Convention, a dejected and very sweaty Huffington Post reporter ducked into an empty bar for some consolatory chicken tenders.


There wasn’t much doing at City Tap...

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HUFFPOST HILL - Media To Cover Donald Trump Speech

(0) Comments | Posted July 21, 2016 | 5:55 PM

Donald Trump is set to accept the Republican presidential nomination this evening, though whether he does it to the sax solo from “Careless Whisper” on repeat remains to be seen. Ted Cruz said he isn’t a “servile puppy,” which is true because puppies...

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HUFFPOST HILL - America Trembling With Excitement For Mike Pence, Might Barf

(0) Comments | Posted July 20, 2016 | 5:59 PM

Hillary Clinton appears closer to selecting Tim Kaine or Tom Vilsack as her number-two, meaning DNC organizers are going to have to direct the bejesus out of next Wednesday’s programming. Donald Trump refused Melania’s speechwriter’s resignation, an awful punishment as it prevents her from taking a near-assured CNN...

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'I Want To Sit On His Face': Getting To Know The RNC's Vendors

(0) Comments | Posted July 20, 2016 | 3:22 PM


CLEVELAND ― There are a lot of Donald Trump fans gathered here for the Republican National Convention, but if there’s one person who truly gets the Republican presidential nominee, it isn’t a keynote speaker, it isn’t a GOP operative mulling about...

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RNC Delegates See Melania Trump As Antidote To Michelle Obama

(0) Comments | Posted July 18, 2016 | 11:39 PM

CLEVELAND ― Until Melania Trump delivered her speech Monday night at the Republican National Convention in Cleveland, where she told a nationwide audience...

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HUFFPOST HILL - RNC Gavels Into Session; Ohio Dogs Bark Incessantly, Woodland Creatures Flee

(0) Comments | Posted July 18, 2016 | 5:08 PM

Republicans are gathering in the Quicken Loans Arena to nominate Donald Trump, which is appropriate as both Quicken Loans and Donald Trump promise to give people a lot of money in a short amount of time and enjoy plastering their names on things.  The theme of tonight’s RNC...

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The Nation's Largest Progressive Gathering Disappoints Many

(0) Comments | Posted July 17, 2016 | 4:01 PM


ST. LOUIS - The star of 2016’s Netroots Nation ― the year’s largest gathering of progressive activists and organizations ―  wasn’t a Senate candidate, celebrity grassroots crusader or presidential wannabe; it was a 9-year-old named Kennedy who wanted more cheese in her macaroni.


As her parents looked on,...

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Progressives Pressure Clinton Over Vice-Presidential Pick

(0) Comments | Posted July 17, 2016 | 10:55 AM


ST. LOUIS ― With presumptive Democratic presidential nominee Hillary Clinton set to announce her running mate in the coming week, many progressive activists and lawmakers fret that her choice may undo much of the work her campaign has done to court the party’s left wing....

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HUFFPOST HILL - Trump/He'll Do 2016

(0) Comments | Posted July 15, 2016 | 5:15 PM

Despite all of your Pokemon Go jokes, the Turkish military still launched a coup today. Donald Trump announced that he has chosen a police composite sketch of a white suspect as his running mate. And the Trump/Pence campaign unveiled its logo, which highlights its message of...

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HUFFPOST HILL - Hillary Makes Jokemon, Asks America To Pikachoose Her

(0) Comments | Posted July 14, 2016 | 5:04 PM

We’re not sure what’s worse, the media circus surrounding Donald Trump’s VP selection, or that Hillary Clinton upended it by mentioning Pokemon Go. Tim Kaine said Hillary Clinton reminds him of his wife, clearly trying to supplant Terry McAuliffe as Virginia’s creepiest Clinton fanboy. And Congress will adjourn...

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HUFFPOST HILL - Trump Campaign Roaming CVS Aisles For Last Minute VP

(0) Comments | Posted July 13, 2016 | 4:59 PM

Senator Al Franken sent a letter to Pokemon Go’s developer about privacy issues surrounding the game, the last phrase anyone in 1996 ever expected to read. Donald Trump’s veep shortlist is down to three finalists, though a kid may yet come across a new one in a field...

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HUFFPOST HILL - Trump Possibly Catching Human Pikachu Newt Gingrich

(0) Comments | Posted July 12, 2016 | 5:34 PM

People are playing Pokemon Go at Arlington National Cemetery, dishonoring all the drone operators who keep us free. Bernie Sanders endorsed Hillary Clinton, which is going to come back to haunt him when she’s indicted. And in 2008, Donald Trump said Hillary would be a good president, though...

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HUFFPOST HILL - Bomb-Carrying Robocops Don't See Color, Only Things To Bomb

(0) Comments | Posted July 8, 2016 | 5:18 PM

Despite its best efforts, America is slowly realizing that no amount of will.i.am singles and viral Ad Council PSAs are going to solve its violence problems. A Hill staffer was thought to be carrying a weapon, but was let go once everyone remembered Jim Webb...

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HUFFPOST HILL - Trump Finally Finds Group Of White People Who Don't Like Him

(0) Comments | Posted July 7, 2016 | 5:31 PM

Donald Trump says he may not assume the presidency if he wins this November, but it’s unclear whether his running mate, a novelty Don King Chia Pet someone gave him in the ‘80s, would accept the challenge. A spokesman for Ben Sasse said the 2016 election is a...

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HUFFPOST HILL - Sanders Campaign Forming Into Flying V In Last Ditch Attempt To Win Nomination

(0) Comments | Posted July 5, 2016 | 5:27 PM

FBI Director James Comey advised the DOJ against prosecuting Hillary Clinton, effectively thwacking the former secretary of state on the nose with a rolled up newspaper and yelling, “NO! NO! WE DO THAT *HERE*.” President Obama delivered a stirring speech in defense of Clinton’s record, suggesting once and...

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HUFFPOST HILL - Congress Poisoned By Partisanship, Actual Poison

(0) Comments | Posted June 29, 2016 | 5:25 PM

The average GOP “Young Gun” is quite old, but they won’t seem so long in the tooth once they take office and we raise the retirement age to 75. The Cannon House Office Building has lead-tainted water, so lawmakers have had to switch back to drinking children's tears....

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