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Elise Sax

Entries by Elise Sax

Culturing My Kids: Episode 3

(0) Comments | Posted July 9, 2013 | 1:29 PM

We arrived in London, looking like we had just completed the Bataan Death March, except we were well fed. I had purchased "extra leg room" on our Virgin Atlantic flight because my oldest son is 6'4", but I think they made a mistake and only gave us "extra," forgetting entirely...

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Culturing My Kids, Episode 2

(0) Comments | Posted July 1, 2013 | 5:03 PM

It became quickly apparent in preparing my two sons for our epic journey to Europe for two-and-a-half months that they didn't give a damn who Ann Boleyn was and cared even less about the Marshall Plan. I would have to be sneaky about culturing them. Shoving information in their face...

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Culturing My Kids -- Episode One

(3) Comments | Posted June 28, 2013 | 11:16 AM

So here's the thing. I have two kids -- two boys -- and I raise them alone. That means I'm a single mother, and that means I'm failing miserably. No, they're good kids. No drugs. No alcohol. No pregnant girlfriends, as far as I know.

But for these 15...

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O Say, Can We Sing?

(2) Comments | Posted April 17, 2013 | 2:38 PM

Some things stay comfortably the same year in and year out. Like baseball. Here we are at the beginning of another season, and the ballparks look the same, the hot dogs taste the same, and the beer runs cold until the 7th inning stretch. Just like always.

But suddenly...

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I Love You. Go Away.

(4) Comments | Posted March 5, 2013 | 6:11 AM

It's not you. It's me.
I swear, it's not you. It's me.
Well, it's a little you.
Who am I kidding? It's so you.
In fact, if you weren't you, we would still be us.

Does this sound familiar? Have you been the recipient of this...

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7 Reasons Why You're Single

(357) Comments | Posted February 21, 2013 | 3:45 PM

It's that time of year again. You survived resolution time only to fall into Valentine's season, the time of year when you count what you don't have: A husband, a lover, a significant other, a date or an adoring other to tell you you're beautiful, perfect and a dynamo in...

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5 Reasons Why You Should Be Happy In Divorce

(16) Comments | Posted January 30, 2013 | 11:23 AM

If you're thinking about getting a divorce, or if you are going through one, or if -- like me -- you've been divorced for some time, you might think of it as a tragic life event. Death, even.

You probably never thought this would happen. Certainly it was the last...

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I'm Old And Multi-Orgasmic, And You Can Be Too

(74) Comments | Posted January 18, 2013 | 7:23 AM

I'm not really that old. Middle-aged. What do they call that? Oh, yes: "Past her prime."

Let me tell you, I believed that "past her prime" line. Believed it especially for, well, you know... The big nasty. Hot sweaty snugglebunnies. Bow chicka wow wow. Intimacy.


I thought my vagina...

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To Resolution or Not to Resolution

(1) Comments | Posted December 31, 2012 | 1:33 PM

I'm too fat. I don't give enough to charity. I stress over most things. I'm late turning in my latest book... again. I yell at my kids. I go out to eat way too much and I use credit cards with wild abandon.

Hmmm... I have the sneaking suspicion...

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The Monster

(376) Comments | Posted December 6, 2012 | 6:31 AM

I call it, The Monster. It's enormous.

Yes, it's true that Jennifer Aniston's is bigger. Ditto Jennifer Lopez'.

It may not be Hollywood big, but it's close. Nearly five carats. And it's shiny. It was my grandmother's, then my mother's, and now it's on my finger.

The Monster is a...

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My First Thankstaking

(3) Comments | Posted November 20, 2012 | 12:32 PM

There is no turkey in my freezer. No Thanksgiving shopping list on my fridge. I'm not stockpiling yams, and I'm not counting dinner forks and folding chairs to make sure I have enough for my guests.

For the first time since 1989, I'm not cooking for Thanksgiving. Nothing. Not even...

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Cupcakes No More!

(7) Comments | Posted November 16, 2012 | 10:25 AM

Enough already with the cupcakes. America, you have gone overboard with these pastries. They have their own television shows, Sex and the City tours and assorted overpriced accessories. Does this children's birthday party, go-to dessert really deserve to be individually wrapped in a Tiffany look-alike box?

Come on, if we're...

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The Tyranny of the Hem Lines

(0) Comments | Posted September 11, 2012 | 11:31 AM

I've been looking online and scouring the stores, and this can't be all there is: Above the knee or dragging on the floor like a shroud.

Dear designers, what happened to below the knee or mid-calf?

I know what this is. I'm being punished for having ugly knees. Ugly,...

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Finding My Smile Through Dance

(3) Comments | Posted August 16, 2012 | 1:46 PM

The last time I danced, I think a bar mitzvah was involved. It was obligatory dancing, the kind you have to do to fulfill social obligations, even if you'd rather be home watching reruns of anything with your bare feet up on the coffee table.

And it was dancing with...

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The Battle Cry of the Romance Authors

(12) Comments | Posted August 1, 2012 | 9:57 AM

Bestselling romance author Stephanie Laurens stood in front of thousands of her peers, breathless, her heaving bosoms pushing against her lace bodice, her long tresses framing her virginal face, and shook her fist at the sky. "As God is my witness," she cried. "I will never be hungry again."

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Romance Writers and the 50 Shades of Happy Endings

(3) Comments | Posted July 22, 2012 | 8:20 PM

Just about every romance writer, romance writer hopeful, and romance industry professional is on Twitter right now, tweeting about one thing: Heels.

High heels. Sexy heels. Platform heels. Spiky heels. Heels that hurt but who cares, heels. It's pretty much what's uppermost in everyone's minds.

This week is the annual...

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Changing Careers in Midlife

(2) Comments | Posted May 17, 2012 | 6:21 AM

As we enter graduation season, when some of us say goodbye to our children and ponder selling our kidneys to pay for their college education, should we take a step back and reconsider just how much importance we are putting on this stage of our children's lives?

Is this the...

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The Many Faces of Hot

(7) Comments | Posted April 24, 2012 | 12:29 PM

Recently, I was in line at the bank when I was attacked by a ball of fire in my belly. The heat grew, emanating out until it had taken over my entire body. Last to go was my face ... dry, hot to the touch, beet red. It was only...

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Becoming My Mother: A Startling Transformation

(680) Comments | Posted April 16, 2012 | 12:17 PM

My vacation to Hawaii was great, but who is this woman in all the photos?

It can't be me. I'm much younger (and much thinner) than the woman posing in capris and a tank top, so there's no way it can be me. Hell, her face doesn't even look like...

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Thank You, Baseball

(0) Comments | Posted April 12, 2012 | 12:05 PM

Not too long ago I was in Arizona, hiding from the sun under a large hat, sitting in the first row at the ballpark, right next to the Cleveland Indians dugout. My 11-year-old son was the bat boy, and designated hitter Travis Hafner was stretching in all his muscular glory...

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