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Elisha Goldstein, Ph.D.

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10 Ways to Bring Meaning Into Your Life

Posted: 04/11/10 07:38 PM ET

My life can often appear to be hectic. At times it feels like I overload myself with more things than I could possibly ever accomplish. As I'm going to sleep, my mind wanders with all the things I need to get done, and when I'm awake during the day I catch my mind thinking about all the things that need to get done. Take a shower, make coffee, eat breakfast, brush my teeth, write, go see clients, etc. ... When I'm not mindful, at the end of the day I can truly ask myself, "Where did the day go?" Enough of these, and I can ask myself the same questions in weeks, months, or even years! Can you relate to this?

So when I feel like these questions are coming up, I do some brief exercises that help bring me to the present moment and remind myself that I'm living.

1. For five minutes: Whatever you are doing, just do it slightly slower. At work, we are all given tasks to do. One time per day, for five minutes, do that task a little bit slower. Do not do the task in slow motion, or take breaks from the task, simply do it a little bit slower.

2. Take five minutes at lunch to notice what you're eating. You can actually do this at an meal, or any time you eat. You are going to notice what your food looks like, how it smells, feels, and tastes. As you pick up your food, notice the texture of it, is it bumpy, smooth, wet? Notice what you smell. As you take it in your mouth notice how it feels in your mouth, notice the tastes that are coming out of it, how your teeth break it down. As you swallow it, notice it going down your throat. Do the same with the drink.

3. Take three minutes to just sit and notice your breath. Sit in a place of your choice, could be behind your desk, or anywhere. Close your eyes. For three minutes, simply pay attention to your breath. For these three minutes, your breath gets your undivided attention. If you notice yourself thinking about something, even the thought "Why am I doing this stupid exercise?", just notice that you're thinking that and then gently bring your attention back to your breath.

4. Wash the dishes. If you're not used to doing dishes, there will be many benefits to this one. As you begin to wash the dishes, notice the texture of the plate and the warmth of the water on your hands. Inhale and notice if there is any scent. Listen to hear the rush of the water or any other sounds that are happening around you. Not only will you be able to practice being in the moment, but many of your family and friends will be thrilled with you.

5. Take a bath or shower. Preferably a bath if you have one, but even with a shower, you can take your moment in the shower or bath to feel the warmth of the water or feel how your body is immersed in the water. How does your skin feel? Do you notice any smells? Is your hair wet? Just be in the moment and notice all your senses ... breathe.

6. Make love slightly slower for a few moments. As you are making love to your significant other, take a moment to purposely move slightly slower. As you do this begin to mentally feel over all parts of your body. How your skin feels when touching his/hers, how are you breathing? Are you sweating? Is there a scent in the air? Take a moment and really be there making love.

7. Smell a flower for an extra breath. This one I love. Often times I will be passing by a flower and if I remember to smell it, I take an extra inhalation to really get the full experience of the scent. You will be surprised how much that extra inhalation makes a difference in the experience.

8. Be silly. I'm serious;). Being silly allows your creative juices to flow and your creative juices is what life is all about. Letting yourself be silly can also be very relaxing and create joyful situations that are full of meaning.

9. Write a letter to someone close to you ... telling them how much you appreciate them. This is not a new idea by any stretch, yet it is always worth mentioning since it is so meaningful. A letter that that person will always cherish.

10. Remind yourself that you are a miracle. This may be the most important. How they heck did any of us get here? When we break it down to nanotechnology and quantum physics, scientists are stumped to figure out the great mystery of us physically being here and interacting and creating symbols and concepts and communicating.

It's boggling. That's why our moments on this earth are so precious, and it is a wonderful gift to attempt to cultivate those moments in life that you consider to be sacred.

You get the idea ... try it out.

What works for you in bringing meaning to your life? Please share your thoughts, stories and questions below. Your interaction provides a living wisdom for us all to benefit from.

***

Originally published on Mindfulness and Psychotherapy at Psychcentral.com. To read more of Elisha, visit his blog, Mindfulness and Psychotherapy at Psychcentral.com, or subscribe here. You may also find him at www.drsgoldstein.com.

 
 
 

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My life can often appear to be hectic. At times it feels like I overload myself with more things than I could possibly ever accomplish. As I'm going to sleep, my mind wanders with all the things I nee...
My life can often appear to be hectic. At times it feels like I overload myself with more things than I could possibly ever accomplish. As I'm going to sleep, my mind wanders with all the things I nee...
 
 
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02:14 AM on 04/14/2010
Thank you!
05:45 PM on 04/13/2010
What a trite a boring article. Seriously, if you don't already know how to slow down, relax, and have fun, you're a lost cause already. All of these things listed are things people do everyday anyway. Take a shower? Wash the dishes? Contemplate the universe? Ummm... did this even bear mentioning? Smell a flower?

Do these things really bring "meaning" into people's lives? Not saying they aren't relaxing, but come on. This "article" was simply fluff through and through. It's sad that people have to be told to think for themselves and told how to relax and have fun. It's even sadder that people only start doing so because a fluff article on the Internet spelled it out for them.
11:11 AM on 05/09/2010
I sense judgment. Perhaps you should re-read, you did not grasp the intent of the article.
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UltimateLifestyle
05:25 AM on 04/13/2010
Great tips to help us develop awareness and to slow life down a few paces, even for a few moments.

Many thanks for the gentle reminders.

Peace and much love

Lara Jane
Founder of the Ultimate Lifestyle Project
http://ultimatelifestyleproject.com/spiritual-quotient
03:24 AM on 04/13/2010
Sometimes it helps to focus on just one sense. Shut your eyes and let your ears build a picture of the world for you.

A harder one is to focus on the smells around you: I will try the sniffing twice suggestion. :)

The sense of touch is a great one. Again, focus just on it. Stand outside and feel the currents of air on your skin. Focus on the feel of a sheet against the skin of your legs. Echoing the advice about bathing, try standing in the shower with your eyes closed, just feeling each drop hitting you, pounding you, flowing down your skin, dripping from your elbow or hair... wonderful.

The eyes, btw, can do more than see, if you really focus on them. Sometimes I shift a mental gear and LOOK at things as textures, imagining the way it would feel. The grain in wood, the weave of a textile, the velvet of a rose petal...

I said it's focusing on one sense, and it IS, but in some ways it's also using one sense to trigger another.
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Christine Maingard
Author of Think Less Be More
02:45 AM on 04/13/2010
Lovely post (and comments) to remind us how important it is to connect with our inner most core and to find meaning and enjoyment in the present moment. When we do this, even the most mundane chores, such as washing the dishes, can become blissful activities. As I wrote in "Think Less, Be More" - "Imagine for a moment that you can focus your awareness on what IS rather than listening to your inner noise and your imagined struggles. You will ask yourself what took you so long. And when you see your own reflection in the river of life you will know that this is it."

http://www.thinklessbemore.com
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02:04 AM on 04/13/2010
I have two little sayings that are a kind of reminder of meaning and awareness in life

1) Worship is the act and art of living (I'm not meaning religion here)

2)The mundane is the fantastic in a wrapper.
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Deli
Life after death, why wait?
01:34 AM on 04/13/2010
Read the book: "Many Lives, Many Masters". It will give you a new lease on life, remove the latent fears humans have about death, and help you begin to see all of your dealings with people in this life (all the button pushing relationships, past, present, and future) in a much bigger context that frees you to understand how meaningless stress and upset are. Happiness can then take over from the inside.
12:03 AM on 04/13/2010
Thanks for this pointed article on how to be present and mindful in our everyday living. I also would like to invite readers to read Thich Nhat Hanh excellent book -- Peace Is Every Step: The Path of Mindfulness in Everyday Life. This book provides instructions and practices of mindfulness to assist in healing difficult issues. This wonderful little book concludes with presenting the connection between inner peace and the ensuing peacefully existence in the world.
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ElishaGoldstein
12:29 PM on 04/13/2010
Love this book! Thanks for letting others know about it ~ Elisha
11:55 PM on 04/12/2010
a slight change or 5 mins rest time in such a mundane life can give us some mindfulness, i guess. and as you mentioned, sense, sensation, and any kind of feelings seem so important. a friend of mine said she's kept a diary based on sense depending on how she feels and senses. sometimes, just focusing on something simple and fundamental can make our lives easier_ :)
10:57 PM on 04/12/2010
To appreciate the little things, I like to do tasks with my right (non-dominant) hand. It makes me really present to the process, the mechanics, the feel of touch... everything. It's like doing the same motion you've been doing for years... for the first time.

Dr. Samantha Sutton
http://frameshiftcoaching.wordpress.com
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Deli
Life after death, why wait?
01:36 AM on 04/13/2010
Funny. I was just assigned today to take two pens of different colors, write out a question to myself in one color with my dominant hand, then answer it with my non-dominant. I am told some miraculous answers come as if you are communing with God. Being forced to write slowly and let go of perfection is the key. I am going to journal this way, all week.
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inthedesert
Those who never question will fall for anything.
08:45 PM on 04/12/2010
There are tons of neurotic folks out there that thrive on being totally and profoundly stressed out....all day every day. You see them all over....constantly texting, constantly in motion, constantly worrying, constantly looking "important". LOL. I would imagine that their internal "lives" are in such a state of disarray...like their minds. Instead of being a "human doing" why not try to be a "human being"..corny but quite appropriate for these poor folks. Oh yeah, they have a new iPad, an iPhone and any number of other "important" toys..hey, they're going places in this world and leaving the rest of us "slackers" behind...LOL. Um...bye bye.
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10:23 PM on 04/12/2010
U have a point, and totally makes a sense. We live in such a material world, and some of us lost the true meaning of life or the fundamental concept of life. Sometimes its good to imagine, life without any technology, and see how peaceful it is.
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Deli
Life after death, why wait?
01:44 AM on 04/13/2010
I was one of those, about a year ago. Then I lost my job. As a single mom with no child support and two kids to raise (both adults now, but it never ends), my career was my identity and I strove to make more money every year. It was so funny when I was fired, it was surreal. I only spent about 5 minutes in panic about my next check, then the most amazing sense of freedom came over me.

The transition has been miraculous. I scaled back all the unnecessary crap, hibernated for a few months to allow myself to heal from the guilt of not working 12 hour days (it was very hard to let those feelings surface, feel them, and get rid of them). Now I work as my son's caregiver (he was hit by a car a couple of years ago), about 25% of what my paycheck was, but enough to live, be an "at home mom", and finally grow my own organic garden, transition to raw foods, and workout. Plus, I get to spend time with someone I almost lost. My life is downright zen.
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Irina Wardas
Women's Holistic Health Coach/Talk Radio Host
08:08 PM on 04/12/2010
Elisha, Thank you for sharing and reminding us that sometimes 5 minutes a day can change our lives. And, absolutely, we are all miracles, aren't we, even if we forget about it most of the time:-)

I always remind my clients and listeners that we should always practice mindful eating and mindful cooking if we want to feel and look fabulous:-)
Breathe, smile and be happy. NaturalCounselor.com
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ElishaGoldstein
10:29 PM on 04/12/2010
Thank you Irina :)
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jgarma
07:30 PM on 04/12/2010
So, sounds like the key common denominator here is to become present. Focus on the now and reap the joys of it. Yes, taking a vacation from the chattering "monkey mind" is a good mini-vacation.

jgarma
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DrMiaRose
Author, Psychologist and Wellness Coach
07:12 PM on 04/12/2010
I believe mindfulness practices are very effective in connecting us with what we value in life and hence, what is meaningful. We tend to live in our heads so much of the time, obsessing about the past and worrying about the future. Happiness lurks in the moment - and especially when we connect to it with all our senses.

Great post!
Mia Rose
Melizzy
Facts have a known liberal bias.
05:36 PM on 04/12/2010
I think the best way to bring meaning to your life is to do something positive for someone else. :)