Let's All Play: Hillary Rewrites History!
First imaginary sniper fire. Then gun lust. Then drinking shots with the guys. For the next episode of Hillary Rewrites History, we're inviting viewers to write in and make suggestions as to what she might say next. I give her until the end of the week to claim that she's anti-choice. I suspect that when she declares her sympathy for the "unborn," she'll says she was always in sympathy with the pro-life movement. I bet she'll even call it "pro-life" instead of what it is: anti-choice. But this is just one increasingly bitter woman's view. Bitter about watching this brilliant, accomplished, and esteemed woman have a temper tantrum that won't quit.
Perhaps if readers come up with good ideas, her campaign can use our responses for strategy on what new policies and positions Hillary can lay claim to as the Pennsylvania primary heats up.
I think she'll stop short of arguing that women shouldn't be allowed to vote. But I'm curious to know where Huff Po readers think this Bullitt-style car chase might go.
For those who write in and accuse me of always having it in for Hillary, the record suggests otherwise. Several months ago on Huff Po I reviewed Thirty Ways of Looking at Hillary, a collection of extremely smart and often sympathetic essays about her. I stated my immense admiration for her and said that if she were the nominee, I'd roll up my sleeves and join the volunteer core. A lot has happened since then. Did I mention the time I was flying into Sarajevo and had to parachute out of the plane into a field loaded with land mines because the airport was under siege?
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She's gonna suggest Hillary/McCain '08!!!!!!!!!!
Born on a mountaintop in Scranton PA
Was a gun-totin' gal by the name of Hil-la-ray .
Tougher than any man could ever need to be,
She killed her a duck when she was only 3.
Hillary, Hillary Clinton,
She breakfasts on Yingling Beer.
A one room Amish class was where she went to school.
And it was there she learned the " secret golden rule".
"Do onto others before they do to you",
And "don't tell the truth about what you really want to do".
Hillary, Hillary Clinton,
Farts just like me and you.
Now Hillary's running for President of the good ol' USA.
And lets us know just how much she sure does like to pray.
The Pope is sure to make her a saint someday,
And God wants her to win no matter what you say.
Hillary, Hillary Clinton,
She's just like me and you.
i'm singing this song all day now...thanks for the many laughs here
Hey, if the Pope's daughter can't point out Hillary's revisions of history, who can?
Does that make me a hypocrite?
You know, shortly after I helped my Dad build that log cabin in Scranton, PA with my own, bare, 12 year-old hands; I had a life altering experience! We had just finished a delicious lunch of TYSON Prepared Chicken (which I had created the recipe for & for which Tyson in their gratitude, made me a member of their Corporate Board!) when my Dad decided to teach me how to shoot the new rifle I had just purchased at WAL-MART (for which, in gratitude, THEY appointed me to their Corporate Board!)
Fueled by our traditional meal ender of a "shot & a beer" I picked up the gun & shot myself in the foot!!
My Dad then rushed me to the corner hospital. Being my practical 12 year old self, I was anxious about how we would pay for the medical treatment. My Dad told me not to worry because as a regular "working man" he had something called HEALTH INSURANCE (you bitter, younger listeners won't recall what that was) I was so happy to hear this, that I then vowed to help all the big Health Insurance companies in any way I could! (and for which, in gratitude, can you believe THEY appointed me to their Corporate Boards?!) I then converted to CATHOLICISM so that I could go to Church EVERY Sunday & because I thought it would help me if I ever returned to PA! And here I am!
I'm Hillary Clinton & that's my story & I'm
You know Bill is often referred to as the first black president but as we often do I differ with him on this. Bill's family was in the Klan and we still have good friends in the KLAN and I respect these good old boys for hanging on to their family values and the stories of lynchings have been way over blown by the elitest press.
Hillary is a man's man and she loves playing in the gutter drinking beer and ripping the eyes out of other animals. I can't wait till she is caught singing Bomb Bomb Bomb Iran.
AP- Scranton PA
In a lightly attended gathering at the local Moose Lodge, Hillary Clinton waxed poetically about her past. " ...I climbed up on that cross and got Jesus down...he went on to be your lord and savior...(sob) and now I wear this cross for me, I mean you...(sob, sob) I wanted to go hunting with Jesus (sniffle) but I was FORCED to support many right wing causes before I speak out against them during this campaign...sniffle, sob, choke...
She rewrote history on the CNN compassion program last night: The reason Gore lost in 2000 was because he was labeled an elitist. Ohhhh, I thought it had a lot to do with Bill Clinton's sex scandals, lies to the American people, and impeachment. Now that's the Clintons really rewriting history!
I give her until the end of the week to claim that she's anti-choice. I suspect that when she declares her sympathy for the "unborn
==========
Well, smartypants, last night during the Compassion Forum she stated she is pro-choice.
Jeesh, do you have a double standard for political speak or what. How about Obama the "selma march" baby?
HRC has roots is Scranton...it is a fact....if she didnt play this up she would be a fool.
I'm waiting for her to tell us about the time she shot a mountain lion dead before it could eat Chelsea,and how she immediately went to church to thank the Lord for giving her the strength to pull the trigger,even though she was staggering drunk after having spent the evening in the local bar,downing brews with the boys.
Her next step will be to announce that she really writes the scrirpt for the Martha Stewart Show and that Martha really works for her
On her way to a rally in Springfield Il, Senator Clinton ordered her motorcade to stop while passing a horrific traffic accident on I-95. Without waiting for secret service to secure the area, Senator Clinton jumped out of her limo and made a bee line for the wrecked autos, deftly pulling a family of four from one mangled car, then safely removing a pregnant woman from another car while simultaneously delivering her baby in expert fashion.
The ridiculousness of a sixty year old woman downing shots and following that up with beer inn men's bar room was not ridiculous enough. The utter lying about being under sniper f
ire, and the follow up attempts to dismiss it until the video appeared, is not enough. The lies about NAFTA, and her support for it for ten years, not enough . Her horrific war vote, and her follow up attempts to dismiss it, blame it on Bush, and even the Iraqi people and now, this wonderful woman, praised by all the old feministgs, wants to be a president?
She, today, trashed Al Gore and Howard Dean. The need was hers--to win, no matter who she has to lie about, no matter how much mud she has to throw AT HER OWN PARTY. No matter how much damage she is doing by insisting upon taking her futile cause to the end game in Denver.
This is who the the feminists want for a president? This woman claiming she can shoot at an early age,
Tught by her "dad" to kill ducks with a gun while they were at their "cottage. Where on earth is there a "cottage" in the outskirts of Scraton anyhow?
Handing out "I am not bitter" badges to her followers was a total flop.
She needs to go. She failed to see the writing on the wall and stubborly insistgs upon continuing when she cannot win.
Let's see...
I suspect that by next week, she will recount the pivotal moment in her life in which she "found God", and ever since has decreed to make political choices based on the classic criteria of "What Would Jesus Do?"
"I have always known that I was the victim of a vast left-wing conspiracy."
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