Do you know what month it is?
I'll repeat for the sluts in the back.
DO YOU KNOW WHAT MONTH IT IS?
IT IS MOTHER FUCKING OCTOBER.
Pumpkin shit?
Got it.
Orange shit?
Got it.
Spooky shit?
Got it.
Crunchy leaves and shit?
Crunch crunch son!
October has ALL the best Holidays.
My birthday is in October.
Halloween is in October.
My dad's birthday is in October.
But oh, I hear you cry, what about December?
What about Christmas?
What about Hannukah?
What about that other one?
What about snowflakes and cinnamon and hot cocoa and gingerbread and candy canes?
FUCK snowflakes and cinnamon and hot cocoa and gingerbread and candy canes.
You know what's better than all that shit?
Scary-ass black cats.
Yummy motherfuckin candy corn.
Tasty-ass pumpkin pie.
Candles.
Cobweb-y stuff people put on their hedges.
Costumes.
Ghosts and stuff.
Draculas and vampires and witches and Frankensteins and stuff like that.
You want October music?
Monster Mash.
The Ghostbusters song.
Some others.
You want October movies?
We got October movies.
Hocus Pocus.
Ghostbusters.
The Nightmare Before Christmas.
Halloweentown.
Halloweentown 2: Kalabar's Revenge.
Halloweentown High.
WE DO NOT TALK ABOUT RETURN TO HALLOWEENTOWN.
SOME OTHER BITCH PLAYED MARNIE.
So grab your dicks and get ready to party because it.
Is.
OCTOBER.