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Elizabeth Marquardt

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Sperm Donor Kids Speak Out: Our Biological Dads Matter to Us

Posted: 01/19/11 05:20 PM ET

" ... I don't want to be on his family's Christmas cards or to take up an inordinate amount of his time. I just want to know who he is."

"I feel like half a person."

"I wish he simply knew I exist."

If you are a man who gets a woman pregnant after meeting her in a bar, you cannot legally hide your identity from your child, nor walk away from at least minimal responsibility as a father. Yet if you wish anonymously to sell your sperm to a sperm bank, you can remain hidden from your child forever.

No one knows how many persons are conceived each year in the U.S. through anonymous sperm donation. Experts estimate it could be somewhere between 30,000 and 60,000 annually, but the numbers are only a guess because the U.S. government does not require reporting or tracking of such pregnancies. For the fertility industry, anonymity is the grease that keeps the machinery going. It allows men (and women) in exchange for money to conceive offspring they never have to meet or acknowledge. It allows parents who wish to purchase sperm or eggs not to have to tell their child the truth about how the child was conceived. And, it has allowed our society to avoid the uncomfortable fact that we are creating two classes of persons, those who have the legal right to know their origins and those who are legally forbidden to learn the same thing.

Now, anonymity is being turned on its head. This week saw the launch of the first-ever online story collective for donor conceived persons and others involved in reproductive technologies. AnonymousUs.org allows persons conceived through sperm donation and similar practices to tell their stories anonymously, without fear of hurting their parents, getting flamed on the Internet, or having to go on record about intimate details of their lives. The brainchild of donor-conceived activist Alana S. (who is also a blogger at the site I edit, FamilyScholars.org), AnonymousUs.org is already filled with powerful stories from donor conceived persons, donors, legal parents, adoptees, and others whose lives have intersected with these technologies, with new stories being added daily.

The stories echo and affirm research that colleagues and I published last year in a report, My Daddy's Name Is Donor. They tell us that bodies matter. That to be deliberately denied knowledge of where you come from is painful and bewildering, at any age. That the human longing to know where you fit in the human family extends also to donor conceived persons. That the fertility industry is rife with contradictions, praising donations and altruism when in fact cold cash fuels each transaction, minimizing the significance of biological connections for children even as the biological connections desired by would-be parents are served, and undermining the importance of ancestry even as other aspects of U.S. and international law and great swaths of culture devoted to genealogical and ethnic studies affirm just the opposite.

The stories at AnonymousUs.org tell us what it's like to grow up in a world where almost no one -- including the parents who raise you -- understands what it's like to be conceived deliberately denied knowledge of or a relationship with one of your biological parents. In a story called "Jaws of Life" one young person asks:

"How could my own parents decide to deliberately separate me from my kin, to grow up half blinded to my own identity? If they couldn't face telling me the truth about what they had done, why did they do it?"

"How could the doctors, sworn to 'first do no harm' create the system where I now face the pain and loss of my own identity and heritage?"

"How could the government, charged with protecting the most vulnerable members of the community, its children, legislate to make it illegal for me to know the identity of my biological father? How can its institutions subject me to the psychological torture of knowing that records exist, but I am forbidden to know the contents?"

"How could my donor help create me, and then abandon me without even leaving his name?"

In a story titled "Missing Pieces," one 19-year-old writes of struggling to protect the feelings of his or her mother and social father, even while coming to terms with painful personal losses. The storyteller writes, "I have to be so careful not to upset anyone about it, when really, it's me that's upset!"

Others, like those quoted at the beginning of this post, plead that all they are looking for are simple realities that most of us take for granted. They want to know who their father is. They want their father to know who they are. They want to feel whole. The titles of their stories say it all: "Alone." "Silence." "Beginnings and Ends." "Filling Out the Story." "I Have a Right to Know."

Anonymity has fueled the practice of deliberately denying children and young people the identity of their fathers. Now, it is allowing those very young people to tell their own stories, in their own way. A new generation of would-be parents, doctors and policy makers would be wise to listen. These young people are voicing a truth at once utterly simple yet breathtakingly profound: Fathers matter. For everyone.

BIO: Elizabeth Marquardt is editor of FamilyScholars.org and coauthor of "My Daddy's Name is Donor: A New Study of Young Adults Conceived Through Sperm Donation."

 
 
 
 
 
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05:10 AM on 01/24/2011
One must ask were the rights of the parents and in general reproductive rights end – and the child begins. For example how many children have been conceived via unknown affairs? Neither the husband nor child knows. What if that father has been deprived of not knowing his (lack of) connection to his own child? Does the dad have any recourse? What if one or more of the parents hides their own lineage information (that they are adopted or donor, or that mental illness runs in their family). That all of your extended family on one or more sides (from Uncle Joe, to cousins bob and Jane, to Grandma Betty) are not your true genetic family? Thus depriving you of your true and full DNA clan?

How many parents look at their child and say “where does she get that from? That’s not from my side! She is just like your aunt Betty! ” More specifically a medical condition may indeed skip generations or direct parentage.

Therefore full disclosure must extend outwards beyond the parent or couple having the child.
Everyone, everywhere must be legally compelled have a genetic test done to determine full lineage ,family tree and genetic and medical traits. To deprive any one of full information on their genetic family connections, inherited traits, medical history, or DNA makeup would be illegal.
10:43 AM on 01/23/2011
Let me break it to you easy. If the law required disclosure many of you would not exist or be dead. The reason many of these laws exist is because before them women would abandon their children on the street and some would die. So to make it safer for the babies laws were passed to allow legal abandonment at specific safe places like hospitals and firehouses.
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01:27 AM on 01/22/2011
And those of us who were adopted as children, share in the frustration of being prohibited by state laws from accessing our original birth certificate. The reason the government and others make it illegal is due to unregulated profits. So long as there is money exchanging hands for people buying and selling children and/or eggs and sperm - those of who created through this process will not be viewed as citizens with civil and human rights. And don't look to the ACLU for help or support - they keep their doors open through this profits as well.

"How could the government, charged with protecting the most vulnerable members of the community, its children, legislate to make it illegal for me to know the identity of my biological father?
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thinkingwomanmillstone
great, green, globs of greasy grimey GOPerspeak.
12:13 PM on 01/21/2011
Isn't it true that everybody has some kind of childhood issue? I am glad that there is a forum for these children to talk out their issues, but life cannot be made perfect. It does seem to me that there should be gentic tests done on the sperm and that information should be supplied. It also seems that donors should be able to supply subsequent medical histories to the donor registries so that the info is kept up to date.
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cleverindie
01:31 AM on 01/22/2011
It's not about finding perfect, it is about finding answers to questions. Adoptees without access to their records have been fighting this battle for years. It isn't about perfect at all. It isn't about trying to make up for any flaws in the family that is raising them. It's about being able to ask the questions and having access to the people who can answer them- even if it is just a quick conversation or a letter or a questionnaire the donor completed about family medical history. People who have access to that information from day one cannot imagine how it feels to be denied that information. I would imagine that some of the people conceived with donor eggs and/or sperm may also have the primal wound that is described in many texts on the impact of adoption.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
thinkingwomanmillstone
great, green, globs of greasy grimey GOPerspeak.
07:23 AM on 01/22/2011
Everybody has questions...and everybody's feelings are valid. However, it is up to us to decide how we deal with those questions. Do we let it define us, vicitmize us or is it just part of what makes us who we are. I am not saying any of these issues are unimportant just that we have some choice in how important we make them. I have a good friend who has had leukemia for 8 years. She was given 6 weeks to live when she was diagnosed. Her life is filled with physical pain and a daily onslaught of meds, treatments, needles, etc. She just refuses to let herself be defined by her illness but rather chooses to concentrate on the healthy parts of her life..which is filled with her job, her friends, her volunteer work. I use her as a role model in my own life, One can pursue information that one doesn't have but if that becomes the focus of one's life, it narrows your experiences and may block a lot of good from entering it.
06:29 PM on 01/20/2011
The storyteller writes, "I have to be so careful not to upset anyone about it, when really, it's me that's upset!"

To the person who wrote this..let people know that you are upset. Talk it out. If it was a family who could not have children otherwise that is one situation. If it is a single woman or two women, that is another. They need to know there are consequences affecting other people, and all to often they just slough them off with "I have enough love for two people" or "I am their mother and their father." A father is irreplacable, as is a mother. Some kids will be fine with any combination of parents, and some won't..which is why it is my personal opinion that it is best to take care of children already in the world if a traditional family makeup is not available or not desired. But have no delusions that there will be no pain if you use donors. And an uncle is an uncle, and a grandfather is a grandather, both very important roles, and a nice guy around every now and then is just that, and a father is a father. Hopefully a good one.
08:38 PM on 01/20/2011
Please keep in mind that there are donor conceived people who have heterosexual parents. I am one of them. My parents are wonderful and amazing- I consider myself incredible fortunate (donor conceived and just as their child) as I know from fellow adult conceived people that they have not been as fortunate in the parent(s) department. That doesn't mean that I have never struggled with being donor conceived- far from it- but it is important to acknowledge that there are donor conceived people born to heterosexual people as well.
11:54 PM on 01/20/2011
Me too DaisyZoe, I had an awesome childhood, mom and dad. But always wondered about my father. He really always mattered to me but I found ways to bury that because I felt it would be hurtful to others. Wasn't until I had children of my own when I felt that it wasn't selfish of me to say that he mattered and I wanted him to be proud.
08:28 AM on 01/20/2011
When me and my wife decided to start a family we searched through hundreds of donors to find the right one. As Teachers we know the effect it can have on children having an absent parent so we were looking for a donor that would keep in contact with us throughout the process and after the baby was born, should the children have any questions that they wanted to ask the donor themselves.

The relationship with our donor is more than we could ask for he has donated for us twice and we are starting for the third baby this year. He has regular days out with the children and they know him as 'dad', he sends Birthday and Christmas cards and we do the same from this end.

Our eldest is nearly six now and has already started asking questions, we have been honest with her that we love each other but we needed a man to make her and her brother, this she accepts and I am sure she will have questions for her Dad as she gets older about his reasons for donating.

The main thing is that both of our children are confident, happy, out-going children that enjoy their lives and we enjoy the joy that they have bought into our lives. Gayfamilyweb encourages using a known sperm donor so that at least the parents can pass on information to the children conceived.
12:33 PM on 01/20/2011
Best of luck with your arrangement and thank you for having the foresight to collaborate with a man that could be their for his kids.
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01:08 PM on 01/20/2011
I appreciate the fact that you are sensitive to the issues donor conceived individuals faced and anticipated the rights and needs of your children. Too often the rights and needs of children go ignored or not anticipated in donor conception, which is why we have an anonymous process to begin with. Child procreation should never be anonymous, not when it can be helped. Everyone has a Basic Human Right to know who they are and where they come from and to reach out to their roots when they can :-)
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dadw5boys
Disabled Vietnam Vet
01:24 AM on 01/20/2011
Yes it would be nice for them to know if there is a Medical History they should be aware of like Diabetes or Mental Illness.
09:58 PM on 01/19/2011
The Child Listener has been encouraging sharing of information since creating one of the largest private sperm donation web sites in the world. She has just upload a 'Donor dad' questioannaire on her 'Children Deserve to Know Where They Come From' site. A questioannaire based on what children have said they want to know about their 'Donor Dad'.
Children are not involved in these decisions - made by adults- and deserve honesty and openess. To know as much as possible about their biological origins. This doesnt have to be threatening to the 'real parent/s - and ideally needs tstarts as early as possible. This is why The Child Listener promotes private arrangements- known and anonymous seem awful options, to her, as far as the child is concerned- as information isnt given until 18 at the earliest. Many of her donors and members have arrangements where the donor meets the child on a yearly basis- or is willing to be contacted when the child wishes. The Child Listener is speaking out for children- and also about the fact that so many men want to donate- but not when the child will not be known to him- or know of him - as a real person, not a number on a catalogue sheet.
When we start to put the rights and needs of children first, we will stop this hiding of information - children deserve access to it. Being a good parent is about putting your child's needs first- not your own.
08:43 PM on 01/19/2011
Actually Mrs. Delacour, it's a story-telling healing device for real people, who feel isolated and misunderstood. It also welcomes donors, parents, surrogates, and fertility industry professionals to write their own stories and opinions as well- so the balance of the stories remains democratic and equal access.

And for parents who have tried to keep it a secret from their children that they were DC, the results are almost always negative. If you want a healthy relationship with your adult donor conceived child, transparency and full disclosure has proven to be best. Just read the stories. It negatively affects parents just as much as it does children.
08:03 PM on 01/19/2011
This article is no doubt a plant by so called adoption equality activists who want to see their birth record even though the States promised their adoptive parents to keep it a secret. People pay a lot of money for sperm donations and gestational wombs to carry their eggs. Isn't this a choice - a legal choice.

Why should adults think they need to know if someone else's sperm was used or if they were adopted. Some things are secret for a reason.
hfpf
Wake up World.
02:14 AM on 01/20/2011
You asked:Why should adults think they need to know if someone else's sperm was used or if they were adopted. Some things are secret for a reason.

Everyone deserves to know where and who they came from. Children that are adopted are already born. Adopting them aids society. I believe that women who decide to have children from donor sperm are selfish. There are so many children who need adoption that to have a biological child that will never know its father is cruel to the child. The adopted child may long to know who their biological parents are, but can be made to understand the positives associated with their adoption. The child born of DS grows to understand that his/her mother's needs were more important than the trauma he/she endures knowing that mother made a CHOICE never to allow her child to know his/her father. The adopted child grows to understand that yes, they were given up for adoption, but that could have been for their best interest at the time.

Whether adopted or being born of DS, the child/adult longs to connect with his/her ancestry. Children born of DS will never be able to say that they had a father who cared. Adoptees may. I believe that modern medicine has created a generation of DS children who will grow into somewhat dysfunctional depressed adults.
08:34 PM on 01/20/2011
First of all, I am a donor conceived adult and you make a lot of broad statements. Not all donor conceived adults will grow up to be depressed (me being one of them). Also, you say that "children born of DS will never be able to say that they had a father who cared". This is very, very untrue. I have heterosexual parents (they used a donor because my dad could not have children) and my father loves, adores and endlessly cares about me. So I think that you need to do some more research on donor conceived adults/people before you make these statements.
hfpf
Wake up World.
02:22 AM on 01/20/2011
Addendum: My comment above children of DS fathers will never be able to say they had a father who cared, refers to children raised by single moms, as single women are usually the customers for donor sperm. That is not to say that an infertile couple wouldn't use donor sperm. They might. However, that child would supposedly have a caring father in his/her life.
04:55 AM on 01/20/2011
HFPF- I appreciate your thoughtful and considerate comments.
As a donor conceived person and someone who has studied A LOT about what "bonds" men to their children, I must say that NO, in general, we are not getting fathers that care about us as fathers should.

Kids who are raised in houses with stepfathers, and especially mother's boyfriends, are MUCH more likely to face child abuse, sexualization, and negligence.
04:57 AM on 01/20/2011
When I say stepfather I mean social fathers to be included in that term.
06:52 PM on 01/19/2011
Amazing. Thank you Elizabeth.
08:38 PM on 01/20/2011
And also thank you Alana for creating the project! :) Thank you thank you thank you.
03:29 PM on 01/22/2011
:-)
Least I can do.