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Elizabeth Messina

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An Open Letter To President Obama

Posted: 11/02/2012 1:21 pm

Dear President Obama,

I have sat down to write this letter dozens of times and always end up a bit tongue-tied. Please bear with me as I attempt to explain myself. Nine years ago I watched the image on a sonogram and heard the words from my doctor: "It's a boy." In that moment, my first emotion was fear. How was I going to raise a man? It seemed daunting, but perhaps nervousness is not uncommon for mothers of sons to experience. I also felt extremely aware that as a Caucasian woman having a son with a man of African American descent, my son would undoubtedly face issues in his life I would never fully understand ... deep breaths ...

Truth be told, I was unprepared for the powerful love I felt when I held him for the first time. He was perfection, the way all newborns are. He was mine and any hesitation or fear about mothering this little tiny man was replaced with adoration and love. I am blessed to have a loving husband by my side who is also a wonderful father. Our son (and two other daughters) have been lucky to grow up loving two parents of different ethnic backgrounds. And yet there has always been the element of the unknown. Neither my husband nor myself would ever be able to entirely comprehend what it felt like to grow up bi-racial child in a world that is not always embracing of things and people that are different. I was faced with trying to figure out how to prepare my son for issues that he may face in his life due to his ethnicity that I had no firsthand experience with.

The election in 2008 had a profound effect on our family. As you pursued your dreams and became the nominee for president, there was a shift in the air. I was overwhelmed with the implications your success had for my children's lives, particularly for my son. We watched the debates leading up to the election as a family. I lined up three small chairs and made the kids popcorn (admittedly, a bit of a bribe for them to sit and watch something they did not really understand). I explained that although they may not understand what they were watching, it would have an important impact on their lives, regardless of the outcome of the election.

We were watching history unfold, a story that had a direct impact on our children. I felt this was especially true for my son because he could see himself in your face.

He was 5-years-old at the time you were elected president. And although I realize you were in the midst of pursing your dreams, you inadvertently simultaneously changed my son's life. Quite frankly, I believe you changed the lives of sons across the world. This, Mr. President, is no small thing. My son could see himself in you, the leader of our country, something no child of color had been able to do in America prior to your presidency. He was at an age when he had just become aware that my skin did not look like his. You gave my son in this moment something I could not.

My son is vibrant and funny, an incredible athlete, a well-balanced mix of tenderness and independence. I've loved him and raised him to the best of my ability. You gave him something that I could not, the possibility that he could actually be anything he wanted. This is a concept that far surpasses any political orientation; it is not a Republican or Democratic concern, it is purely an acknowledgement of what all mothers want for their sons -- an opportunity to pursue their dreams, to be anything they want to be. Mothers of mixed-race children are often confronted with the limitations that subtle and sometimes not-so-subtle prejudices can bring.

As a photographer, I felt compelled to share visually in some way, the impact you and your political success had on my son's life. I think perhaps this image says it, far better than my words could ever convey. I do not know where his dreams will take him, but I do know that the path you carved in your life will benefit him as he grows as a man, in ways he will probably never fully understand. I realize the possibility of my son and/or myself meeting you personally is quite unlikely. So I wanted to take this opportunity to share my gratitude.

Thank you on behalf of all mothers of mixed-race children for making the words "You can do anything you want in life" feel like the truth. You have changed the lives of children across the globe and that, Mr. President, is a wonderful gift. And more personally thank you on behalf of my son ... thank you.

Sincerely,
Elizabeth Messina

elizabethmessinanotforreuse

 
 
 

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Dear President Obama, I have sat down to write this letter dozens of times and always end up a bit tongue-tied. Please bear with me as I attempt to explain myself. Nine years ago I watched the image ...
Dear President Obama, I have sat down to write this letter dozens of times and always end up a bit tongue-tied. Please bear with me as I attempt to explain myself. Nine years ago I watched the image ...
 
 
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09:08 PM on 12/22/2012
kudos on the pic and article. Very moving. President Obama's election did a lot for a lot of people.But it up to each of you Moms to make it last. Raise your Son, as he was raised. Don't raise anything less than a MAN!
11:02 AM on 11/25/2012
Execelent without words..., congratulations and thanks for sharing.
12:37 PM on 11/19/2012
across the world? There are other nations that have already had female leaders and/or minority leaders.
11:37 AM on 11/09/2012
It's a beautiful letter. But I sure wish she could be so optimistic for her daughters to become president as she is her son.
11:36 AM on 11/09/2012
Of course this is moving...but it also makes even more obvious, that the last barrier will be that any little girl see someone like herself in the Oval Office...for the undercurrent, even in this letter is that the self-esteem, the self image of boys is still more important in our society than that of girls...even in this very moving letter, girls come second...As a grandmother of 3 little girls there is still that to explain...and perhaps my gratest heartbreak is that I will not get to see a woman president...this letter does not touch me so much as it makes my heart hurt...
09:06 AM on 11/09/2012
Really moving! Thank you for sharing. I LOVE the photo!
photo
Aoede
Progressive is not a dirty word!
10:50 AM on 11/08/2012
That was so beautiful. This is what, I believe, a lot of white people do not understand. It is a thing of joy and pride to see yourself represented in the highest office in the world. Its something that will never be taken away from us, no matter how some try to delegitimize president Obama.
photo
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
amberwaves8427
05:44 PM on 11/07/2012
I dont agree with his politics(Im a Libertarian) but I sure am grateful that he made it easier so that one day my Little Barack Obamas(Im American and there dad is Kenyan) maybe able to be president.... They wont have to go through all the bs about birth certificates or being a muslim or any of the rigamarole. For that I am grateful!!!
11:47 PM on 11/06/2012
Elizabeth, that was an amazing letter. And a stunning photo. Thanks so much for sharing with all of us.
HUFFPOST COMMUNITY MODERATOR
Veneita
If trolls had minds, they wouldn't be trolls
07:15 AM on 11/06/2012
As the mother of biracial children, I agree
HUFFPOST COMMUNITY MODERATOR
Veneita
If trolls had minds, they wouldn't be trolls
07:08 AM on 11/06/2012
As the mother of biracial children, I could not agree more.
01:38 AM on 11/07/2012
Ditto. Me too, and I have a son who is able to cast his FIRST vote for someone who looks like him!
HUFFPOST COMMUNITY MODERATOR
Veneita
If trolls had minds, they wouldn't be trolls
07:09 AM on 11/07/2012
Mine was 10 months too young, but she gave to the campaign.
08:43 PM on 11/05/2012
Lovely + so eloquently stated. I remember this image from your book, The Luminous Portrait (which is gorgeous, by the way) and the second my eyes swept over it, happy chills ran through me. It's a touching image for the beginning of your son's uniquely connected story. Fingers crossed (at least) for a positive result in this election...
photo
VA Jill
I'm not perfect and neither are you
06:12 PM on 11/05/2012
Thank you for this. My second grandson is half African-American also. He was not quite 6 when Obama was first elected and was immensely proud "because he's a brown boy, like me." Now almost 10, he is still a huge Obama fan. He is also a high achiever, and his parents have always told him he can be anything he wants to be. In our president he can see that for himself.
03:38 PM on 11/05/2012
I could have written this letter myself! My son is only a little older than yours....and I have said over and over---NOW he knows he could be anything he wants....because a man with brown skin and a white mom has shown him it's possible..very well written, love the picture, go mom!
02:38 PM on 11/05/2012
Amy Poehler votes Obama! Check out her message to votes: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g8cWjemwdZE&list=UUi_BjZoqPnMmkCLv2FlyBxQ&index=1&feature=plcp