Men are experiencing increasing work-family conflict, more even than women.
In 1977, 34% of employed men living with at least one family member reported that their work and family responsibilities conflicted with each other "some" or "a lot." By 2008, that number had climbed to 49%. And for fathers in dual-earner families -- their work-family conflict has increased from 35% in 1977 to 60% in 2008, while that of mothers in dual-earner families has stayed statistically the same, now at 47%.
Fathers' work-family conflict at 60%, mothers' at 47%.
I remember the very first time I shared these findings from the 2008 National Study of the Changing Workforce conducted by the Families and Work Institute (FWI) -- our ongoing nationally representative study of the U.S. workforce. It was at a seminar of business leaders who focus on work-life and workforce diversity issues. The business executives at this seminar literally laughed. They were so focused on the fact that the advancement of women into executive ranks seemed to be stalled that a concern about men and their work-family conflict seemed like a joke.
Since that seminar, researchers at Boston College and at WFD and the Alliance for Work Life Progress have probed what's going on with men and work life conflict and we have continued to dig into our dataset too. We just released a report called The New Male Mystique.
In our new report authored by Kerstin Aumann, Kenneth Matos and myself, we have begun to uncover what's behind these increases. It is:
The finding that has received the most media attention is that fathers in dual-earner couples are working longer hours than men their ages without children. In fact, they work three hours more a week than men without children. More two in five (42%) work 50 or more hours a week, compared with one in three men their ages without children.
And that's where the joking begins again. Since the study came out, I have heard people say, "Well, no wonder men are working more hours. They want to escape from their families."
It reminds me of public hearing around the time family leave legislation was being debated. People asked why men should have parental leaves: "They would probably use parental leaves to play golf." I even heard it suggested in a mid-western state -- far from the land of alligators -- that men would use leaves to go "alligator hunting."
Of course, we all -- men and women alike -- sometimes want to escape from family life. But our data reveal that men really want to be more involved with their children and families. They are spending more time with their children than men did in the past. And even 31% of women say that their husbands take as much or more responsibility for their children as the women do, up from 21% in 1992.
In the national study, men who were working more hours then they wished (54% of men) were asked why they did so. Overall, 47% say that they need the money, 16% say they couldn't keep their jobs if they tried to reduce their hours, and 14% say that they need to work hours to keep up with the demands of their jobs. In an economy where men's wages have remained flat or declined slightly and where jobs are increasingly insecure, men want and need to be good breadwinners as well as involved fathers.
Today, men are experiencing what women experienced when they first entered the workforce in record numbers -- the pressure to "do it all in order to have it all." This is the essence of the "new male mystique."
We are hopefully learning not to joke (or make assumptions) about women's need to provide for their families economically and be involved parents. We likewise shouldn't joke (or make assumptions) about men's need to be involved parents and provide for their families economically. It is no joking matter!
Follow Ellen Galinsky on Twitter: www.twitter.com/ellengalinsky
http://mynewdirection.wordpress.com/2011/07/07/our-workdad-score-one-for-the-hometeam/
I look forward to reading more about this topic - I, for one, would like to figure out how to have it all. I hope a wave of discussion starts from this, but balanced and objective. Like most Dads I know, I don't want an emotional debate about it - I just want to fix it!
In the mean time, here are some additional links to resources that are discussing this topic. Check out http://www.worklifefit.com/ where Cali Yost and her team are contributing thought-leading content on the topic. Also, check out http://www.newworkorder.com where myself and Brad Lawless have a couple of timely posts on Dad's struggling with work-life-fit issues.
Given that parents work eleven more hours a week than they did in the 1970s, I am willing to concede that some fathers may feel as stressed out as mothers, but not more so. Women still spend about the same time with their children as mothers did in the 1950s. Last year’s Pew Research study, “The Demography of American Motherhood,” points out that in terms of actual hours of child-care and household responsibilities, when both parents work outside the home, women spend 28 hours per week with their children while men average 16 hours per week. The Institute hour finding for dads’ time with children was slightly higher—“3 hours per workday (on average) with their children.” It is true that caring fathers spend more time with their children than in previous decades, but I am not convinced that their stress exceeds women's stress and related work-life conflicts. Susan Newman, Ph.D.
"Women still spend about the same time with their children as mothers did in the 1950s."
Considering the increase in the number of working mothers since the 1950's, this is actually impossible. Unless you are suggesting that mothers in the 1950's were somehow lazy when it comes to childcare.
AND it is fascinating how quickly everything turns to really poor jokes that demean the role of men in families ... 30 seconds of reflection and out pops "Yeah ... they are just working more to get away from the kids." That kind of joking is sexist bullshit.
AND in just 6 comments we are down to "All men need are Food, Sex and Sport" and then arguing over the order. WTF
Is there no forum to discuss the male side of gender roles and raising families?
REAL MEN want to provide for their families. They want to play a role in raising their kids. Neither one of those is easy. Both together are a difficult balancing act ... made even more difficult by the stereotype of the knuckle dragging, beer swilling, football obsessed, womanizing "male".
THAT is a sitcom stereotype of a dumbed down pseudoman.
REAL MEN work all day, come home to change the diapers and coach the pee wee soccer team. They do their best to play an active role in the family. THEY ARE THE SILENT MAJORITY.
Real Men ... stand up and take part in this discussion.
Real Women ... let's have a conversation
My two cents,
Dike
Dike Drummond MD
http://www.threehourmidlifecrisis.com
More specific to the core of the article is that even with its recognition of the male role shift, it reinforces the prejudicial idea (not intentionally, I suspect) that the primary concern of all/most men is earning a living. Yet, as roles have changed, and expectations with them, we've embraced those changes and our focus has shifted with those changes.
I think that men are being thrown away by society at every level and that can't end well. In the colleges I've attended, very few women were in my engineering classes and a society cannot survive on social workers alone. I think it's time to focus on getting and keeping young men in our colleges, realizing a father's worth in a family, and as the author suggested, lightening their load at work a little.
I am one of four males in my district of 250 employees and speaking for myself only, I have been asked to work much longer shifts than my co-workers because they had to do something with the kids, or the family, etc. In my business, males are not usually given that consideration,,,I've had to demand it, and that's my suggestion to any father out there: DEMAND IT....the women are getting it.
Again, great article and the author is correct,,,Houston, we have a problem.
Is There Anything Good About Men?
Roy F. Baumeister
You’re probably thinking that a talk called “Is there anything good about men” will be a short talk! Recent writings have not had much good to say about men. Titles like “Men Are Not Cost Effective” speak for themselves. Maureen Dowd’s book was called “Are Men Necessary?” and although she never gave an explicit answer, anyone reading the book knows her answer was no. Brizendine’s book “The Female Brain” introduces itself by saying, “Men, get ready to experience brain envy.” Imagine a book advertising itself by saying that women will soon be envying the superior male brain!
Nor are these isolated examples. Eagly’s research has compiled mountains of data on the stereotypes people have about men and women, which the researchers summarized as “The WAW effect.” WAW stands for “Women Are Wonderful.” Both men and women hold much more favorable views of women than of men. Almost everybody likes women better than men. I certainly do.
My purpose in this talk is not to try to balance this out by praising men, though along the way I will have various positive things to say about both genders. The question of whether there’s anything good about men is only my point of departure. The tentative title of the book I’m writing is “How culture exploits men,” but
It's about having enough.
Life has it's pain, enjoy the ride or bitch about it, either way we all end up dust.
Well said.
Oh, thats right... NOBODY.
Males are easy to figure out
We require 1- Food, 2- Sex, and 3- Sport
1. Sex
2. Food
3. Sex
1. Sex
2. Food
3. Sex while watching sport.