On March 25 Gwyneth Paltrow announced her separation with husband Chris Martin on her website Goop. The announcement generated so much traffic from users that it crashed the site "within a matter of minutes [...] sending out error notifications to thousands." The big news isn't that the famous couple is splitting. The big news is that the couple will continue to act in a conscious way as they uncouple and coparent.
This news is worthy of all shares, likes, stories and blogs prompting crashing sites and generating headlines. Here's to circulating this story until it reaches our mother's mahjong games, our PTA gatherings and our Happy Hour hangouts. This is the kind of shift that takes the extraordinary (gasp, conscious divorce!) and places it right into the mainstream humdrum, the new normal, the new way. Call it conscious uncoupling, call it mindful divorce -- it's a groundswell that's ready for the Goop tipping point.
Like many of the great movements, the current has been building un-sensed by the popular culture. These resources are now in place and ready for the newsstand focus on this "new normal" way of divorce. Beyond conscious uncoupling, a quick Google search on mindful divorce parenting and collaborative divorce shows the depth of work that has already been done by both parents and professionals. A signifier of this emerging field is Omega Institute's upcoming inaugural workshop on mindful divorce. (Disclosure: the author is faculty at this event.)
The power behind this way of divorce, aside from the smiles that it generates from the child, is the sheer simplicity of it all. Look at Paltrow's announcement, the definition of simple conscious resolve. Proceeding through divorce in a mindful manner only requires willingness, and the gentle fierceness that forms when your gut and heart are aligned in vision.
This way of divorce doesn't even require the partner's agreement, albeit easier when had. Drs. Sadeghi and Sami on Conscious Uncoupling eloquently wrote:
[...] your experience and personal growth isn't conditional on whether or not your spouse chooses to participate. You can still receive the lessons he or she has to give you, resist being baited into dramatic arguments, and stand firm in your internal, spiritual support system.
Or, put another way in The Pro-Child Way®: Parenting with an Ex,
Sure, setting the parenting tone is a heck of a lot easier with a cooperating ex. But it is worth it to your child for you to go it alone anyway. To your child, one parent who puts his/her interests and happiness first is better than two parents who only concentrate on defending their egos. Lucky for your child, it only takes you to make a significant impact on the divorced-parenting tone.
And should you want to extend the impact into the legal arena, there is a vibrant field of collaborative divorce lawyers and mediation options that not only keep proceedings confidential (a plus when you're site-crashingly famous) but also are significantly less costly than the old way of divorce.
The grace in today's top trending story is the possibility that it opens for the next generation of mindful divorce. This is what is possible when you think anew.