THE BLOG
02/13/2013 12:00 pm ET Updated Apr 15, 2013

Valentine's Day For The Menopausal Woman: How To Feel Like A Sexy Twenty-Something Again

Valentine's Day is just around the corner. This is the one day of the year when there's no excuse for no hanky-panky. Despite being in the throes of menopause, there are ways to feel like a sexy twenty-something again, and to give your partner a great, sexy, Valentine's Day experience. You just need to be prepared. Here is a list of my top 5 Valentine's Day considerations:

1- Lingerie with built-in Spanx. This one comes with a warning: under no circumstances is your partner to be the one to attempt the removal of this gloriously flattering, yet tight-as-hell, garment. My suggestion is to make out like a teenager for awhile, then slip into the bathroom to remove the goods. Come back to bed wearing a bathrobe, if you must. He'll forget all about it when he realizes you're in the buff.

2- Chocolate-flavored lube. The lube should be self-explanatory: sex in a desert would be highly uncomfortable. A rainforest would be much better. The chocolate flavor is just in case you happen to...you know. You might as well get some enjoyment out of it -- it will increase --your chances of ever wanting to do it again! Find the right lube for you! There's more to lube than meets the eye...

3- A clean bikini line. Whether you wax or shave, having a nice, manicured Shmirshky (and legs) will make you feel unbelievably sexy and young. It will also give your partner a great surprise, and will be guaranteed to increase his...readiness. (And yours.) Maybe it will inspire him to want to manscape his bush...

4- Be prepared. If it's been awhile (let's be honest -- menopause does make you hot, but usually not for sex), consider warming up before running the 'ole marathon. By reacquainting yourself with your Shmirshky days ahead of time, you will remember what you like, what you want, and what to ask for. You'll also be able to be more physically receptive to your partner on the Day of Cupid, by reminding your body that you are fully capable of having a great time in the sack. Whether it's been a couple of days, weeks, or months, Valentine's Day is an opportunity to sizzle with your partner.

5- A few reminders of the Big Day. (Or night.) A calendar, sticky-notes, and/or a message left by yourself on your voicemail will help you to remember the significance of the 14th. Many women going through menopause have foggy memories at best, so by pre-emptively warning yourself to not forget, you increase the likelihood of you remembering. When this works for you, you will find yourself declaring the Post-It your new best friend.

Have fun this Valentine's Day! Show your significant other that you still have the stuff that sex dreams are made of. Have a light dinner, a nice glass of wine, and then get busy. You're amazing, and he will remember it for a long time after your fabulous sexcapade. You go, girl!

Also, despite all of my recommendations above, don't put unnecessary pressure on yourself or your spouse. Valentine's Day is all about love. If sex is out of the question, make sure to let your spouse know, in some small but significant way, that you're still hot for him. (Or her.)

Remember: Reaching out is IN! Suffering in silence is OUT! Don't sell yourself short this Valentine's day. Forget all about your menopause symptoms and welcome yourself (and your loved one) back to the dirty thirties! (Wink-wink.)

About Ellen Dolgen

Ellen Dolgen is a Health and Wellness Advocate, Menopause Awareness Expert, Author, Speaker and health blogger.

Ellen is the author of Shmirshky: The Pursuit of Hormone Happiness -- a cut-to-the-chase book on perimenopause and menopause that's filled with crucial information, helpful guides and hilarious and heartfelt stories. Known for her humor, compassion and sassy personality, Ellen has appeared on numerous television and radio broadcasts, including: The Rachael Ray Show, The Doctors, Oprah Radio, Playboy Radio, "Tell Me More" on NPR, Doctor Radio and dozens of other regional and national media outlets. Ellen is a frequent guest on the popular radio show, "Broadminded," on Sirius XM Radio (Stars XM 107) and is a regular contributor on Huff/Post 50 along with blogging for many leading women's health sites. Ellen has dedicated herself to women's wellness through a wide breadth of activities ranging from being a founding board member of the UCSD Student Wellness Center, working with pharmaceutical companies in helping them to effectively address women's health needs, serving on hospital advisory boards and advocating for cardiovascular health.

Ellen's motto is: Reaching out is IN! Suffering in silence is OUT!

Follow Ellen Dolgen on Twitter, Pinterest, become a fan on Facebook, connect with her on LinkedIn, Google+ and Klout, watch her videos on YouTube, and subscribe to her newsletter.

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