Springtime has its rituals, including affluent parents touring college campuses with their daughters and sons to "shop" for the best college or university. Mom and Dad scope out the campus their progeny will call home for the next 4 years. They visit the dorms or off-campus housing. And since all parents want their children to be safe, they might even ask about campus security even though they are entrusting their defensively illiterate kids into an environment that can't realistically keep them safe at all times or under all circumstances.
Defensively illiterate? Yes. Parents inadvertently ignore a vital safety consideration if they focus on campus security without taking into account their child's personal physical literacy. If Jane doesn't know how to physically defend herself, she's illiterate. Sorry. In our personal safety community, we believe Jane or Joey should have started learning how to defend themselves from bullies or other predators much earlier than college, perhaps in their early grade school years when we start teaching traffic safety and water safety skills.
What is physical literacy? While literacy is commonly used as a term for reading and writing, let's use it as an analogy for certain practices that allow people to be safer in the world, physically. Physically literate people know that washing hands around food preparation reduces illness. We teach our children traffic safety at a young age so they can negotiate streets in the safest ways possible. They learn the traffic light colors and to look both ways before crossing the street. Similarly, before Ralph Nader championed vehicle safety measures, many of us rambled around in cars without seatbelts or emergency airbags. But in a relatively short span of years, legislation required that auto manufacturers not only include seatbelts as standard equipment but made using driver and passenger seatbelts mandatory. Why? Because the use of seatbelts reduces the risk of injury and death.
To send a young person into the world without preparing for the possibility of predators is like sending your loved one onto the highways with no drivers education in a car without seatbelts or airbags. Or like sending your son and daughter onto the streets on a motorcycle without a helmet. Or a lamb into the forest with no knowledge about the wolf. The tricky part in cases of campus violence is the proverbial "wolf in sheep's clothing" scenario. The wolves look innocent, and most likely think of themselves as "obviously guys that no woman would have sex with if she were conscious," as Gloria Steinem puts it. Why else use a date rape drug?
In April of this year, during another dark spring ritual, there was at least one drug-related rape at the University of Southern California at a Lambda Chi fraternity house party. Like many other people and institutions, it appears USC doesn't like to consider rape as a reasonably foreseeable event, despite statistics that point to rape being rather frequent: 1 in 6 women and 1 in 33 men in the US are victims of rape. ( HYPERLINK "http://www.ojp.usdoj.gov/nij/topics/crime/rape-sexual-violence/victims-perpetrators.htm" http://www.ojp.usdoj.gov/nij/topics/crime/rape-sexual-violence/victims-perpetrators.htm.) And according to a report in 2000 for the National Institute of Justice written by Bonnie S. Fisher, Francis T. Cullen, and Michael G. Turner, 1 in 4 college women experience completed or attempted rape during their college years. (http://www.oneinfourusa.org)

 But to focus solely on USC would be a mistake, like chopping at one diseased tree when the problem is with an entire forest of denial by individuals, families, and educational institutions. Many campuses try to take care of the aftermath of a publicized rape by hiring more campus cops or installing more, newer or better emergency systems. A sorority house director on a major campus says, "These young women come here from all sorts of places and don't know anything about defending themselves. When there is a rape, they are fearful of coming forward even if they know something because they are afraid of the fraternity guys. And my school is afraid of losing enrollments if the on-campus rapes get too much attention."
Everyone needs to grow up and accept the fact that there are predators in the world, and college campus are favorite hunting grounds. It only takes one rapist to tarnish the image of many kind-hearted college age men. After all, "good guy" or "rapist" is not tattooed on foreheads.
Self-defense advocate Erin Weed wrote the book "Girls Fight Back!" and promotes safety programs because her sorority sister was murdered in 2001. Impact Personal Safety of Los Angeles, Prepare, Inc. in New York City, and full force, full impact training programs all over the country train adults and teach classes at high schools so the new freshman arrive at their schools trained to handle violence emergencies. To not prepare for violence is irresponsible. Regardless of age or gender, humans -- of all sizes, shapes and backgrounds -- are fully capable of being dangerous toward predators but they must be taught. Just as human beings are not born to swim, almost all people can learn swimming. The same is true for self-defense.
What if preparing for violence is just as responsible as acknowledging the possibility of a car accident or fire? When we use seatbelts, we are not inviting car accidents. We are simply being accountable for the possibility that car accidents happen. We have fire drills so we don't have to figure out what to do when the fire is happening. Drilling for violence actually makes one less of a target.
Here's a springtime list we recommend for parents scoping out schools:
1. Does your daughter's high school have self-defense training? If so, have her take it BEFORE she leaves home for college. (We want sons to be safe too, and thankfully, most realize they have the potential to fight back. Not so for many daughters.) Public schools in California are required to at least offer self-defense as a P.E. option.
2. When you visit a campus in the spring, or even the fall when you leave your student, insist that the campus NOT depend solely on "rescue" strategies for safety. And as much as campus law enforcement would like to prevent sexual assault, the only person that's always with your daughter is herself.
3. Ask your student to promise they will find a designated sober party-person. The designees can take turns from party to party.This "appointee" will keep track of who is doing what, where and with whom at a party or social function. If a young woman is slipped a date rape drug, and is rendered defenseless, there'll be someone there to help her. Tragically, predators are very canny at sneak attacks and sneaky tactics like spiking punch.
4. Does the school have adrenalin based, realistic scenario self-defense training? While most self-defense courses are useful, the best training involves realistic scenarios where the student has the opportunity to experience what it takes to fight back under stress. The body gets trained to react. Girls' socialization also needs to be factored in. While "sugar and spice and everything nice" makes for polite females, they need to be given some chili peppers -- and some spices with bite -- to protect themselves. Using a fully padded mock assailant in self-defense training is similar to using a swimming pool for swim lessons or a car for driver's education.
Perhaps the recent springtime rape at USC will serve to encourage families to learn more about protecting their kids. The best way is to insist that schools provide physical self-defense education so the students learn how to protect themselves.
Ellen Snortland is on the board of Impact Personal Safety in Los Angeles, author of "Beauty Bites Beast"and speaks about personal safety for corporations, parent groups and educational institutions as the "Safety Godmother."
Gavin de Becker is an expert on preventing violence, and bestselling author of "The Gift of Fear", and "Protecting the Gift: Keeping Children and Teenagers Safe."
However, your responses bring another thing to light in my mind which is that much too often self defense programs do not address the fact that there are rapists out there that also are self defense trained. From my experience (over 30 yrs), pitting a trained man against a trained woman definitely changes the perspective. As a SD teacher I feel we must consider this and instill in our students to never underestimate your assailant.
And, yes, Ellen, I agree. Violence IS, and sometimes just can't be avoided.
I have been training since 1976, and have been teaching self defense in two colleges as a p.e. course since 1983. I do not teach a padded impact class, but I definitely teach a stress based class. To imply that the best way to train effectively is by using a fully padded mock assailant is an unfair judgemental assessment. There are positives and negatives. What about the inability to see your assailant's face, his eyes, or have him curse at you while you are defending? When Marines train for combat they don't work with full padded assailants, yet they are 'made ready' because someone is screaming in their face causing plenty of stress.
I am proud of all women who seek self defense training, and I refuse to judge whether or not whatever she might glean from that particular class will or will not save her life. I know my classes have made a difference in the lives of many of my students because they have told me so. Suggesting someone not attend my college because we don't offer a padded attacker class is somewhat offensive, and perhaps not the best advice.
I ultimately believe that a person's most effective self defense is their fierce survivor attitude and fighting spirit. I know I've got that attitude and that is what I try to impart to my students.
I applaud your work, but please reconsider your advice.
Thank you for your thoughtful comment. I apologize for coming across like I'm judgmental about other programs. Indeed, I know very well that there are many, many programs without padded assailant co-instructors that are highly effective, empowering and life-saving.
That said, I will do more to emphasize adrenalin producing, stress related training because I do believe that unless and until you can experience yourself taking action in the face of a "freeze", doubt will linger and possibly be disempowering.
HOWEVER, as you say, the most important part of self-defense is survivor attitude and fighting spirit. I know plenty of people who have NEVER had any kind of training at all and have rescued themselves from danger.
BTW, I'm afraid that the armed services have not done that well by their female members given the rates of rape and sexual assaults in the military. Something they are doing is NOT working.
A lot of self-defense too is being able to envision yourself as being a bad target, or imagining that you can help yourself. But then again, that's all part of survivor attitude and fighting spirit.
Thanks, Kyoshi, for bringing this up.
Best, Ellen
My husband knew someone who was a Marine and she got raped by another fellow Marine while she was home. The guy knocked on her door and forced himself in and on her. That being said, I agree with your statement that not enough is being done or whatever is being done among armed services is just not working. (And by stating this I'm not saying that all servicemen are like this man, but what I AM saying is that more needs to be done to help our servicewomen protect themselves.)
When I was a teenager, I wanted to take martial arts classes for self-defense purposes so I told my mom about. However, she refused to sign me up. Her excuse: "violence attracts violence." A few years later, my mom almost got raped by someone while she was on her way to the store, thankfully she was "rescued" by someone who stopped the attack. I always think about that and what would have happened if that person was not there to help her. I've never asked my mom how she feels about it now.
I personally have not taken the classes you've mentioned here but I am planning on it. That being said, I have had a couple of "close call" attacks and I've been able to defend myself. The mistake that we make sometimes is that we think "that could never happen to me."
My apology for not having "alleged" in the post. I'd gone back and put that in and I'm actually surprised to see that it's not there. Anyway, being a lawyer myself, I am aware of the difference between an allegation and formal charges.
You have so much in your comments that it would take me a long, long time to address them point by point. I'm going to do a "round-up" by saying that many people assume (which is quite a trick from a 1200 word essay) that Gavin de Becker and I promote self-defense training as a panacea.
We don't. There's room for everyone in the "end violence" field. Each should find that which uses their best talents and more importantly, their passion. If you are passionate about ending binge drinking within the PanHellenic system, by all means, you should work on that. It's not an "either/or" proposition when it comes to solving complex problems. It's this and that and both and all of it.
I attended a large co-ed seminar about gender difference a couple years ago. The men were asked, "How many of you feel physically threatened, and how often?" Out of 100 or so men, only a couple raised their hands. When asked, they said that they felt at risk perhaps a couple times a year.
The women gasped.
Then the women were asked, "How many of YOU feel physically threatened, more often than that?
Nearly EVERY woman's hand went up, out of a group of about 200 women. (Only a couple of women DIDN'T raise their hands.)
Now the men were shocked.
We were asked "how often" we felt threatened.
Once or twice a year? No hands went up.
Once or twice a month? A dozen hands or so.
Once or twice a week? Many hands, including mine.
Once or twice a day? Many hands.
And apparently for good reason. We are always looking over our shoulder. I can't tell you how many of my students report being cornered, threatened, messed with, and more. One was recently "gay-bashed." She was so traumatized she vanished from campus.
Recently I took a full-contact self defense workshop from Impact Personal Safety. Wow. Of course I will continue to take precautions. But I now know excellent self-defense strategies (verbal AND physical).
I wish I had taken such a course as a teenager.
And how poignant your account is of the people raising their hands in response to how many times per year/month/week/day people experience concern over their physical safety.
When you read "The Gift of Fear" you can see too how Gavin de Becker distinguishes "fear" and "worry."
I would love to have the funding to study the stress factors of just being "worried" all the time about matters of personal safety. It's got to be costing us a lot not only emotionally but physically too.
Thanks so much for taking the class, and taking this movement forward. Fight it forward so no one ever has to fight.
I use the awareness skills and communication skills all the time. I'm so much better at setting personal boundaries than I was before the class. Fortunately, I've never had to use the fighting skills but I know I would if I needed to.
In my class were two young women just ready to go to college. I watched these beautiful young women claim their power and learn to say a very firm without giggling "NO!" And then it was even more amazing to watch the tigress come out willing to fight if threatened. It would be wonderful if all young women had these skills and the confidence to use them when needed.
Ellen and Gavin thank you for championing early education in area many of us would like to pretend isn't necessary. Since we live in a world where violence does exist, which is better to teach our daughters to live in fear or to teach them skills to deal with the scary stuff that is out there? I definitely vote for the latter.
Ellen and Gavin have gone a long way in re- branding Self defense as mandatory - it's a responsibility thing. It's also a form of emergency preventative health care - just like vaccines.
I do presentations on Self Defense, teach free classes also. In the last two years I have never taught a group of women where someone there had not been raped or sexually abused. Rape is happening under the radar everyday in this country and we are acting as if it isn't so.
What are we waiting for? My sis says her kid plays ping pong in phys ed.
Nothing against ping pong but come on! Let's get our heads out of the sand here.....
No young woman, in this day and age should be leaving home - for college or anywhere else- without an intensive in Self Defense and safety. Period.
I lived in an all women's dorm. Fortunately, the university did not pretend that rapes had not occurred around our campus. They offered us basic self-defense instruction in the dorm.
MU also had an all-night escort service from anywhere on campus so that no woman had to walk home alone. Having been informed by the university of the dangers, I never hesitated to request an escort. I still think of the selfless male students, who let us interrupt their studies at all hours during those bitter cold Milwaukee winters, with gratitude.
Ms. Snortland and Mr DeGraw point out a real danger. They also offer practical solutions. What was missing from our self-defense instruction in 1978 that is now available is full force adrenaline-based training where trainees practice with a padded assailant. These "Impact" classes leave women confident to face an attacker full on.
My 12 year old niece has been studying martial arts for several years and will have her black belt long before she gets to college; her 15 year old brother already has his. I sleep better knowing that they can protect themselves from predators.
OK, I just talked myself into signing up for a class. I could definitely use an upgrade from the basic skills I learned as a freshman 30 years ago.
Thanks Ellen and Gavin!
There has been a backlash in general about basic notions of the woman's movement, and specifically there's been backsliding on women's rights to protect themselves. I never dreamed that we'd still be talking about this topic.
Afterall, we'd never have to discuss whether a female dog, cat or any other species had the "right" or "ability" to protect herself, right?
Thanks for talking about this and will HOLD you to taking a full contact, full force self-defense class. I want to be at your graduation!
Best, Ellen
I'm so happy your daughter had her wits about her, which by the way is the name of an important book in the self-defense world: *Her Wits About Her* One of the reasons I wrote *Beauty Bites Beast* is that I was appalled to find out that there were many, many instances where women and boys and girls too had prevailed over much larger and more dangerous assailants. Indeed, the title *Beauty Bites Beast* is a word-play on the old journalism adage, Dog bites Man, no story, Man Bites Dog, now THAT's a story. *Beauty Bites Beast* is a testament to women and girls' (and boys) tools for keeping themselves safe. Brava for your daughter. Now, make sure she gets into a class where she knows how to use her body, just in case she doesn't have her knife accessible. Thanks for sharing this.
Best, Ellen
The article makes excellent points, but some of that education must come from the parents, peers, their High Schools as to making good judgments, avoiding bad ones.
Thank you for your thoughtful comment. I grew up in South Dakota. My father was the most loving, gentle man I think I've ever met. That said, he did not have a clue about defending himself, let alone telling me what to do if someone got violent. Same is true of my mother. They were just very naive farm people. That's not to say that they didn't know violence existed. They did. They just weren't very able to address or confront it.
I so want parents to take self-defense classes too! And being in the safety business as long as I have, it's often the fathers who are the most empowering to their daughters in terms of encouraging them to take a class. While this is a BIG generalization, mothers unfortunately pass on a legacy of unrealistic fear to their daughters. It's not intentional. They just have never had any kind of training. It's like a non-swimmer who necessarily needs to be wary of ALL water since they don't know how to swim. They pass on that fear.
The concept of a defenseless female, relying only upon a heroic male but never upon herself, is as outmoded as it is, really, insulting. While it is true that on average, women are smaller and not as strong as men (My wife and I are exceptions to that rule), that should make us more, not less, motivated to make sure that our daughters, wives, and other loved ones are properly prepared to defend themselves. Realistic defensive skills training, as you have described, makes women highly capable of defending themselves in violent situations, as we can see in the effectiveness of female law enforcement officers or military personnel. No one, male or female, should be a "lamb among wolves," as you so aptly put it.
Your specific, practical plans that schools and other community-based organizations can enact should be welcomed and promoted by those who want the young women in their lives properly prepared to face the world -- as it is, not as we would wish it to be.
Thank you again for your courage in confronting a very troubling issue and for encouraging us to do likewise. Would we rather comfort our daughters after they have been assaulted or teach them the skills that might prevent them from being raped in the first place?