Boys Bite Beast

Traitors to white male privilege, there are quite a few unsung men of feminist values in the world. So why are the unsung not more "sung"? The patriarchy is a system that is a "beast" and doesn't reward the boys that bite the hand that feeds them. In a glaring exception to the rule, New York Times columnist Bob Herbert recently wrote a stunning anti-sexist piece. It's rare that a person with such valuable newspaper real estate will have the guts to out himself as a feminist -- or at least, feminist sympathizer. Essentially, Herbert trumpets a heartfelt clarion call for people to wake up to the mostly hidden, unarticulated misogyny in the U.S., using the incidents of mass slaughter of women and girls as proof of its pervasiveness. (Read Bob Herbert's op-ed piece here: http://tinyurl.com/l79ks8)

Herbert writes, "We have become so accustomed to living in a society saturated with misogyny that the barbaric treatment of women and girls has come to be more or less expected. We profess to being shocked at one or another of these outlandish crimes, but the shock wears off quickly in an environment in which the rape, murder and humiliation of females is not only a staple of the news, but an important cornerstone of the nation's entertainment."

Indeed. What makes Herbert's observations more credible than the hundreds, perhaps thousands of women -- journalists, self-defense teachers, scholars, professors, activists -- who have been saying the same thing for thirty years, in articles, books and sometimes even the media? He's a man!

Even Herbert's own paper, the New York Times, the so-called "Gray Lady" with its motto, "All the news that's fit to print," has a shockingly low number of regular opinion columnists who are female. Gail Collins became the first female Editorial Page Editor in 2001! Geez. She now has a regular column there. OOOOh, let's not get too modern, Gray Lady!

Don't you get it? Opinion pages are very, very powerful in shaping the national discourse. Although the NYT is criticized for being a liberal paper, for at least half of the population it can be predictably counted on to leave out women. As a news organization, you could say it preaches to the already male-dominant "choir." If you leave out half the choir -- sopranos, mezzos and altos -- you get a very odd bass and tenor tune that becomes the norm. If you have a dominant male world view, it's easy to be oblivious to the experience, concerns, fears, neglectful and often violent treatment of the rest of us. I say denying public voice to women is an act of neglect and creates an environment conducive to violence.

Besides Gail Collins, who is a tempered and thoughtful voice, there is only one other regular female columnist at the NYT: Maureen Dowd. Dowd is a very high soprano -- I can barely hide my contempt here, so I won't really try -- who is so strident, sharp and snarky, one wonders how she ever got a column anywhere, let alone the premiere paper of the U.S. If I had her tone as a feminist, I'd never be listened to anywhere, let alone in a national publication. But I believe, since she's rather predictably "anti-feminist," she gets to sing her song on a regular basis. (She's so anti-Clinton -- both of them -- that she comes off as a spurned lover in her hatred toward them. So odd.) It's shocking that the editors see Dowd's opinions "fit to print" sometimes: she often comes off more like a gossip columnist than an intellect.

So kudos to the NYT for running Gail Collins, Bob Herbert and Nicholas Kristof as regulars. Kristof especially is a voice for the largely voiceless women of the world. While I'd like to see him address domestic misogyny more, he's a true champion for women and girls of the developing world and really "gets" the tragic waste of treating females of the world as chattel and beasts of burden.

In some societies and in our own recent history, a woman's testimony in court counted for only half of what a man's did. Bob Herbert's "witnessing" of misogyny carries far more weight in modern journalism than any woman's. Just as the African slaves needed the voices of white privilege to help them win their freedom, women and girls need men and boys who are willing to articulate the injustice they see toward their mothers, sisters, daughters and wives. Please sing out, men. Louder. More often. Help the women singers get heard too.

Follow Ellen Snortland on Twitter: www.twitter.com/snortland

Comments

[nadinehack]

Ellen - Thank you for all you do to bring attentino to the critical global issue of violence against women and what we each can do to stop it. As I wrote in my Aug 23 post on http://blog.beCause.net , women and girls are the key to sustainable development and have the capacity to resolve myriad crisis that plague our world. So, let's keep powering forward to empower them! - Nadine

[dougdrenkow]

Another excellent article, Ellen. Ironically (insidiously), it can become harder to change sexist mindsets after it has been less "fashionable" to be blatantly sexist. Nowadays, most people probably don't think themselves sexist, so their reaction to persistent sexist practices is often to think to themselves or say to others that that is terrible but the exception to the rule, not very common, or that that is something other societies do but doesn't happen here (as if that were somehow an excuse for not opposing it over there, as if we didn't all share the same world or humanity).

Unfortunately, as you point out, there is still far too much sexism in the world, over "there" and right here "at home," as is evidenced by the low proportion of women in various pinnacles of careers, such as the NYT editorial pages (and no, I'm not putting it all on them ... there is an entire "food chain" leading up to them in which women are displaced, link by link).

[MyNameIsMickey]

Brilliant! An important dialog. Bravo E. Snortland and Bravo H. Post for finding you.

[MyNameIsMickey]

Brilliant, well thought article. Bravo for H. Post for discovering Ellen Snortland.

[WorkingClass]

There are people who call themselves feminists who believe that women are innately superior to men. These same people prefer revenge to equality. They hate men and want power over them. Men naturally avoid such people. We men need an easy way to distinguish between sincere feminists and mere ball busters who are laying traps for us.

[Malkin72]

Shhhhhh...­.You are supposed to NOTICE that. Just keep following along. The trap, I mean, equality is just ahead....

[PhilipB]

This is such an important post.
I was the one who could get my grandmother to walk when she was older.
I was the one who was there for my daughter with her schoolwork, encouraging her to think big and not be afraid, and to believe in herself.
I am here now for my mother with a serious medical condition.

I am who i am because of the generations of women in my life who have nurtured me and loved me.

i have loved them back, in the grand circle that is life.

[Ellen Snortland]

Thank you so much. You are indeed one of the "unsung." Thank you so much for your love, care and respect.

[TAFL]

When you folks begin addressing the issue of domestic violence perpetrated by women, then I'll begin listening. If you want me to address issues of misogyny on your behalf, you need to address the issues of raging misandry in your midst.

[zombie fairy]

We're not just talking about domestic violence here. We're talking about George Sodini, who opened fire in an aerobics class because of his lifelong seething hatred toward women. We're talking about that nut who went into an Amish school, separated the girls from the boys, then shot the girls. Snortland's piece here doesn't get across the dire situation that Bob Herbert's column in the NYT does. Read his column (there's a link), then come back to this.

[jackraff]

Thanks Ellen. Great post.

My voice is always heard in my courses as well as in private conversations. I will make sure my voice will go beyond that.

When I started Design for Living I said it was an enterprise dedicated to:
-Foster a deeper appreciation and reverence for life by honoring both feminine and masculine values and principles;
-Nurture each person's innate sense of wholeness, natural intuition and unique wisdom'
-Enhance our human evolution toward interdependence and our spiritual evolution toward Oneness.

I chose to put honoring both feminine and masculine values and principles first because I believe this is the most important action for all of us to take. The path to the kind of world we all want, whether we call it a world that works for everyone, world peace, harmony, whatever, is through our honoring feminine values and principles MORE than we honor masculine values and principles. Eventually it will balance out but we must begin by overvaluing the feminine values and principles because we have for too long lived in a world where we overvalue what is masculine.

There is no paradigm shift unless that shift is to honor the feminine above all.

[jackraff]

Thanks Ellen Great post.

My voice is always heard in my courses. I will make sure it is heard at other times as well.

When I started Design for Living my vision was to:
-Foster a deeper appreciation and reverence for life by honoring both feminine and masculine values and principles;
-Nurture each person's innate sense of wholeness, natural intuition and unique wisdom;
-Enhance our human evolution toward interdependence and our spiritual evolution toward Oneness.

I chose to put honoring both feminine and masculine values and principles first because I believe the only way we are going to have the kind of world we hope for, whether you call it a world that works for everyone, peace in the world, harmony or whatever, is to honor feminine values and principles more than we honor masculine values and principles. Eventually it will come to a balance but we must begin by overvaluing feminine values and principles because we have too long lived in a world that overvalues masculine values and principles.

There can be no real paradigm shift unless that shift is to honor the feminine.

[Ellen Snortland]

Dear Jack,
How lovely to hear from you. It's amazing to me how imbalanced things are, and that the imbalance is invisible to so many. Are you familiar with a book that was out in the late 80s, early 90s, called "Failing at Fairness" by the Sadkers, a married couple who studied gender imbalance in schools. They counted how many times teachers, who considered themselves very sensitive to gender, would call on girls and boys. Even the sensitive ones called on boys far more often than girls. Then when the teachers were shown the numbers, the consciously evened up their hand answering. The boys, who were so accustomed to be called on were angry and felt cheated, when they were merely being treated equally. Interestin­g...

Thanks for all the work you do. I have always considered you a real mensch and partner in my mission to incude women in the public discourse.

Did you ever get to read my book, "Beauty Bites Beast"? Sadly, it's still very relevant. My next book will be called "Boys Bite Beast." This is a centerpiece to the new book.

[jackraff]

Hi Ellen,
I am not familiar with that book, but I have seen that scenario played out in many settings.
Yes things are imbalanced. The feminine has always been obscured. We live in an upside down world.

We are partners and always will be.

I have mot read your book. I will buy it tomorrow.

[Meredith Lopez - Huffpost Blogger]

Ms. Snortland, thank you for posting this.

There are a lot of men out there who happily call themselves feminists and fight for the feminist cause. I'm married to one, the sister of another, and hopefully the mother of a third. In 2004 my husband marched with me in DC for women's rights and health issues. We saw many, many men of all colors, backgrounds, careers, religions, and sexual preferences marching with us, many of them wearing shirts or carrying signs that read, "This is what a feminist looks like."

They are out there. But you are right. They need to be more "sung" and less the "exception­."

[William50]

Being White, Male and American, also from Irish and Italian roots but never saying a noun before stating I am American, I am very tired of the poor female, poor black, poor anyone in America.
America allows you the chance, it does not demand that you are the best, but allows you threw your choices to become who you are. This very basic reality has been tossed over the cliff by media and politics.
If you are not at the top of your field it could be because you are not as smart, educated or knowledgeable as your boss. More then likely in business or government it is because he or she has more time in then you...
You can find equality only in the grave...an­y thing else is for political advancement of a party...

[Meredith Lopez - Huffpost Blogger]

I think the point you are missing here is:
"If you have a dominant male world view, it's easy to be oblivious to the experience, concerns, fears, neglectful and often violent treatment of the rest of us."

When you are brought up in a culture in which the prejudices against you are so ingrained that everyone takes for granted that they are even there, it's an uphill battle to get past that. We are not all born into a level playing field, no, not even here in America.

[Ellen Snortland]

There are incredibly dumb bosses out there, male, female, all colors backgrounds. Not really the point of my piece.

I like very much what Meredith Lopez had to say to you and needn't add anything.
Curious about your standing with the women and girls in your life.

[TakeSake]

Let's say that because of your Irish and Italian roots that you were born with a big red "I" on your head for everyone to see.

As people like you with that big red "I" moved around in life, some were passed over for jobs. Having someone with a big red "I" on their head might drive customers away.

Some people with a big red "I" on their head were attacked and beaten for walking around in neighborhoods where people didn't like big red "I"'s.

Some people were pulled over for having a big red "I" on their head while driving.

Some people were violated and abused because the big red "I" made them attractive as the targets of perverts and lechers.

Perhaps if you and yours lived with that you would be a little more empathetic.

[Ellen Snortland]

You really nailed that one. Amazing how we forget the legacy of our own ancestors.

[zombie fairy]

I'm sorry, I don't believe anyone said anything about Affirmative Action, which you are clearly talking about in this comment. We're talking about violence. against women.