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Elliott Quince

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Forgotten Star Wars Characters (PHOTOS)

Posted: 08/29/11 09:12 AM ET

There's a statistic that goes something like this:"'In London that you are only ever seven feet away from a rat" - I don't know how true this is but if you were to substitute the word "rat" for "Star Wars fan" and "London" for "Anywhere in the world" then I think I'd have a hard time arguing.

I have always loved "Star Wars." My dad took my older brother and I to watch "Return of the Jedi" at a cinema in our home town of Luton when I was six years old and the thing that captured my imagination the most were the huge array of weird and wonderful characters. From shiny know-it-all robots to sassy princesses, the films had them all, and what's more is I could collect the toys and recreate the story lines with my friends at school whilst doing all the funny voices.

Fast forward nearly 30 years and despite trying really hard, I haven't managed to grow up and put away childish things. I now have children of my own and it was when my two-year-old daughter got a set of Plasticine for Christmas and I found myself enjoying making things a bit more than her that I had the idea for "Plasticine Tatooine."

In a nutshell, the concept of the book is to create some of the lesser-known characters and imagine how bitter they must have been at not making it big, how badly they were treated on set or how cruelly their lives have panned out since the movies were released. Here are a few of the disgruntled cast members:

Jek Porkins
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He has always been a figure of fun because of his weight; in the book he details the strict dietary regime he had to follow.
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There's a statistic that goes something like this:"'In London that you are only ever seven feet away from a rat" - I don't know how true this is but if you were to substitute the word "rat" for "Star ...
There's a statistic that goes something like this:"'In London that you are only ever seven feet away from a rat" - I don't know how true this is but if you were to substitute the word "rat" for "Star ...
 
 
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TheNuff
“Be yourself – everyone else is taken.”
10:03 AM on 09/02/2011
Whew...looking at the other responses I have to leave before the nerd rubs off on me....lol.
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10:26 AM on 08/30/2011
Re: "In London your only ever seven feet away from a rat" substitute Wall Street for London.
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MikeInTheCola
I didn't get a 'harumph' out of that guy!
09:16 AM on 08/30/2011
Surely you included poor Wedge Antilles in your book. This poor soul, one of the best pilots in the rebellion, was a veteran of some of the fiercest battles of the war. Yet he is always an afterthought. Always a bridesmaid and never a bride. It's enough to make the poor man cry.
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Jason Shields
What the hell is a micro-bio?
01:17 PM on 09/06/2011
Absolutely, he was in all three "pre-quels" and no one gives him any credit.....
06:43 PM on 08/29/2011
In terms of Action Figures, these are anything but minor or forgotten characters. Indeed, many of them are enjoying their 4th or 5th release as Action Figures with each new version featuring better sculpting, articulation or accessories. (And yes, even Porkins has been immortalized as a 3.75" Action Figure.) After all, a collection can only endure so many Lukes and Hans, and thus these "minor" characters are much sought after.

Of course, for kids today, it is all about the Clone Troopers -- You Can Never Have Too Many.
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edejan
09:05 PM on 08/29/2011
Hahahaha...I know you're a true fan!!
06:37 PM on 08/30/2011
Guilty as charged ... and proud of it. :)
02:37 PM on 09/12/2011
I agree. When I was a child, before Star Wars episode 1 came out, I was a huge Star Wars nerd. I had a LOT of action figures and micro machines, and I actually got tired of so many Hans and Lukes.... I had Han with the Return of the Jedi camo trench coat. I had Han in the carbonate. I had Hoth Han in the leather jacket. I had hoth Han in the fur coat. I had regular Han etc... so I used to always get the lesser known characters. I had a tone of them. However, as I got older, I grew out of playing with them, and being a huge fan (the new Star Wars movies helped disenfranchise me). I gave the figures to my younger brother, he played with them for a few years, then gave him to one of his nerdy friends. And now when I see some of those action figures going for $50-$100 now-in-days I wish I had not given them away. lol
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Jabandit
In vino veritas.
04:17 PM on 08/29/2011
My co-worker just named like 7 out of 9 and knew their exact roles....

... NERD ALERT
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Bryan Young
I'm a filmmaker and author
08:33 PM on 08/29/2011
Only 7 out of 9? Who did he miss and how in the world did he miss any of them? Lemme guess.... He missed Dodonna.... And Nien Nunb....?
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Jabandit
In vino veritas.
08:43 PM on 08/29/2011
haha he's so happy you replied...

... the 2 he missed were Porkins and Ponda Baba.

He wants you to explain Ponda Baba to him. Thanks...
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jerry bear
Concentrated Conservative
03:49 PM on 08/29/2011
Looks like the current administration.
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jlab
04:58 PM on 08/29/2011
That is a remark which is both clever and extremely amusing. It elicited joyful laughter from me. How very humorous and giggle-inducing said comment was! You must be a professional people-laugh-maker. Nice job, well done. You are funny. Very good satire. And so smart.
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Bryan Young
I'm a filmmaker and author
11:24 AM on 08/29/2011
I'm trying to remember when these guys were forgotten.
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BlackJAC
It's better to be a black king than a white knight
10:34 AM on 08/29/2011
I think Porkins was the only one of those guys who didn't get an action figure. Still, in the Wraith Squadron books they mentioned him again, as Wedge told this one Gamorrean X-wing driver he was leading that being called "Piggy" was a term of respect in Wedge's estimation.
01:13 AM on 09/02/2011
Porkins did get an action figure. Actually I think all of the characters listed in the slide show did.