Older But Still Young at Heart

04/19/2015 12:46 pm ET | Updated Jun 19, 2015

"A bit of advice
Given to a young Native American
At the time of his initiation:
As you go the way of life,
You will see a great chasm. Jump.
It is not as wide as you think."
― Joseph Campbell

I've jumped. Across the pond and back again, in pursuit of the much younger man I first met online. In this case, as revealed in my last post, he was my new grandson. April pranks aside, I am curious about older women dating younger men. Curious but not ready to take action.

While visiting with family, I'd taken a respite from online dating with men of any age. Home again, I am reticent to jump in. I'm feeling that the odds are against me. The chasm between where I stand and the potential for meeting my mate online seems very wide indeed.

What if, as the proverb claims, it wasn't as wide as I think? I wonder what would happen if I let go the contracted state of doubt and was more receptive to my inner wisdom and intuition.

What if, instead of being influenced by remnants of the Too Old To Be Seeking Love Story, I opened to a new one. In this tale I align with my inner wisdom, intuition and Life itself. Partnering with Life, would I know that something greater than myself wants for me what I want for myself? Would I be guided towards my next steps? What if, listening in the quietness of the morning, I attuned to the stillness within throughout the day? Would I hear Life's prompts urging me forward on the road to romance?

I'd come back from the hopefulness of new life and a young family's dreams to my own. Are young dreams and older ones that much different? Leaving that younger man of "Older But Still An April Fool" to return to my life is challenging. With more experience under our belts, in addition to the latest accumulation of adipose, how do we hold onto our hopes in light of Life's disappointments?

Does it have to do with where our minds go when there are delays, particularly major ones like mine? Do I Iisten to old stories that proclaim I am more than an April Fool but an old one? Do I fall down the rabbit hole tumbling in an endless loop of self-recrimination?

Or do I choose the path of power, where we align and partner with Life, paying attention to the prompts? Can we notice the evidence that appears of Life's having our backs? Can we believe that while we are still alive it's never too late to materialize our dreams? I do not yet have answers but, am willing to live with these questions.

This morning, as I brushed my teeth, I was surprised by hearing Frank Sinatra serenading me inside my head. Despite it being many decades since I last heard Johnny Richard's ballad, I immediately recognized the tune. My Sonicare buzzed along with my humming as I remembered every word of Carolyn Leigh's lyrics to It Had To Be You.

Fairy tales can come true, it can happen to you
If you're young at heart.
For it's hard, you will find, to be narrow of mind
If you're young at heart.

You can go to extremes with impossible schemes.
You can laugh when your dreams fall apart at the seams.
And life gets more exciting with each passing day.
And love is either in your heart, or on its way.

And just like that my optimism returned. I smiled into the mirror about what's next being the best part knowing I did indeed have a head start because I was still among the very young at heart.