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Em & Lo
Em & Lo like to consider themselves the Emily Posts of the modern bedroom. They've co-authored seven books on the topics of sex and love: 150 Shades of Play: A Beginner’s Guide to Kink; SEX: How to Do Everything; three A-Z guides, Buh Bye, Rec Sex and Sex Toy; The Big Bang: Nerve’s Guide to the New Sexual Universe; and Sex Etiquette for Ladies and Gentlemen. They've contributed to numerous anthologies, including Sex and Sensibility: 28 True Romances from the Lives of Single Women, as well as publications including Glamour, Details, New York, Marie Claire, Slate and, in the UK, The Times, The Guardian, The Telegraph, Esquire, GQ and many more. They are also are the hosts of a ten-episode television series called “SEX: How to Do Everything,” which aired on Fiver in the UK. Em & Lo currently blog about all things love- and sex-related at

Entries by Em & Lo

Top 10 Love Lessons from 'The Bachelorette' (Ireland)

(0) Comments | Posted July 1, 2015 | 9:37 AM


1. Cheating on your wife won't just mess up your marriage -- it could seriously impact your future relationships, too. Because at some point, your new girlfriend is going to ask, "So, er, hey, what happened with your marriage?" Then you're going to have to admit...

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10 Dinge, die du statt "Ich liebe Dich" sagen kannst

(0) Comments | Posted June 30, 2015 | 11:37 AM

"Ich liebe dich" zu sagen, kann in einer längeren Beziehung zu einer Art Satzzeichen werden. Man sagt es am Ende eines Telefonats oder auf dem Weg nach draußen oder kurz bevor man abends einschläft. Und das ist völlig in Ordnung. Liebe auszudrücken ist oft eine gute Sache! Und es ist...

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10 cose da dire al proprio partner al posto di "Ti Amo"

(1) Comments | Posted June 30, 2015 | 6:16 AM

In un rapporto di lunga durata dire "ti amo" può finire col diventare una specie di punteggiatura. La gente lo piazza alla fine di una telefonata, o uscendo di casa, o prima d'addormentarsi la notte. E non c'è niente di male. Esprimere spesso il proprio amore è una cosa buona!...

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10 Things to Say to Your Partner Instead of 'I Love You'

(39) Comments | Posted June 29, 2015 | 9:32 AM

Saying "I love you" can become a form of punctuation in a long-term relationship. People say it at the end of a phone call, or on their way out the door, or as they're falling asleep at night. And there's nothing wrong with this. Expressing love often is a good thing! And it's...

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Top 5 Love Lessons from "The Bachelorette" (Dublin)

(0) Comments | Posted June 23, 2015 | 12:42 PM


  1. If you constantly have to talk about how smart/cool/deep you are to your date, then you are none of those things. As your 9th grade English teacher at Deerfield should have taught you: show, don't tell.

  3. PDA should have some limits. Yes, you're out and about on an amazing date in a cool city with a person with whom you've got great chemistry. A stolen kiss up against an alley wall is understandable, even acceptable. But not everyone wants to be an unwitting witness to your extended game of tonsil hockey, complete with audible spit swapping (like the octogenarian at the pub who's just trying to enjoy his whiskey in peace). Not every venue is appropriate to basically dry hump in (e.g. churches, war memorials, etc). We're happy for you and the passion you have, but to put it simply: get a room.

  5. Be fun. Don't dominate the limited time you have on early dates with personal sob stories. Yes, you can have moments of real honesty and vulnerability, but make sure you balance those out with some levity and laughter. Debbie Downers get dumped.

  7. First-date sex is fine. You both want it? Go for it. You want to do it with multiple people around the same time and they're down? Woohoo! However, if you happen to be dating multiple people who are looking for a long-term, monogamous commitment, it is responsible of you to make clear to them that you are not going to be "exclusive," at least not at this early juncture. Giving a person the false impression that you only have eyes (and other body parts) for them, when that's not the case, even if it's just a lie of omission, is not cool.

  9. Don't kiss and tell. It's nobody else's business. You're not honoring your burgeoning love, you're just stroking your own ego and, if you're on "The Bachelor/ette," engaging in psychological warfare.

Read last week's love lessons from "The Bachelorette."


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20 Things That Will Happen at Your 20th College Reunion

(0) Comments | Posted June 12, 2015 | 4:05 PM

It's college graduation season, which means that it's reunion season, too -- that time when college alumni go back to their alma mater and drink heavily to forget how old they really are. Here are 20 things that will (probably) happen when you...
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Top 5 Love Lessons from 'The Bachelorette' (Kaitlyn Takes NY)

(0) Comments | Posted June 9, 2015 | 12:19 AM


  1. JJ thought he'd score points with Kaitlyn and the community, oddly, by embracing "bros before hoes" and, we guess, "bros before foes" ideology when he told Clint to apologize, not to her, but to the other guys in the house for...

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Top 20 Tips for Graduating College Students

(0) Comments | Posted June 4, 2015 | 4:03 PM

Tis the season for viral commencement speeches, when celebrities from the D-list all the way up to, oh, Bill Clinton, tell college grads how to reach for the stars and find their way in this world and use sunscreen. Our favorite speech of all time remains David Foster...

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Top 6 Sex Ed Lessons from 'The Bachelorette'

(3) Comments | Posted June 2, 2015 | 4:19 PM

The Bachelorette is kicking ass and taking names! Having a baby breakdown because you didn't get picked for the team? Kaitlyn'll embarrass you further by calmly telling you to take your ball(s) and go home. Playing hard to get and not paying attention...
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8 Rules for Shooting Naughty Videos With Your Partner

(0) Comments | Posted May 29, 2015 | 4:42 PM


Thinking of playing a little very candid camera with your other half? Engaging in your own sexual shoot, whether as the star or the director or both, can automatically make things more dramatic and theatrical, even if you end up keeping most of your clothes...

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Top 5 Love Lessons from 'The Bachelorette' (Kaitlyn's First Dates)

(0) Comments | Posted May 26, 2015 | 5:02 PM


"The Bachelor/ette" franchise may have finally been completely ruined for us last night after Amy Schumer's guest appearance during one of Kaitlyn's group dates. That's how brilliant she was, turning the show into what it really should be, what it was meant...

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The Forthcoming Slut-Shaming of The Bachelorette

(1) Comments | Posted May 20, 2015 | 3:40 PM

Last night, during part two of the season premiere, Bachelor Nation quickly learned that the producers had in fact stacked the deck against Britt to ensure Kaitlyn would take her rightful place as The Bachelorette. But even being staunch supporters of the Kaitlyn campaign did not make watching Britt's unceremonious...

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Top 5 Love Lessons From The Bachelorettes (Kaitlyn and Britt's Season Premiere)

(1) Comments | Posted May 19, 2015 | 10:21 AM


Life began again last night with the premiere of ABC's The Bachelorette -- or should we say, The Bachelorettes? After all, this season's big twist was pitting last season's two favorites -- Kaitlyn "Potty-Mouth" Bristowe and Britt "Insincerity's-My-Middle-Name" Nillson...

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5 Ways to Have More Sex (Without It Feeling Like a Chore)

(1) Comments | Posted May 14, 2015 | 5:04 PM


According to new research, having more sex may actually make couples less happy -- if they feel like they're being told to have more sex. The Carnegie Mellon study, published in the Journal of Economic Behavior & Organization, studied...

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5 Reasons Why You Should Read 'I Take You'

(0) Comments | Posted May 8, 2015 | 12:25 AM


Have you met Lily Wilder? You should. She's the seriously funny, seriously sex-driven, and seriously flawed protagonist of the novel I Take You by Eliza Kennedy. Here are five reasons why you should pick up a copy right now.

1. I...

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Why Everyone Needs a Rhymes-With-Bucket List

(0) Comments | Posted April 28, 2015 | 1:56 PM

Our favorite part of President Obama's monologue at the White House Correspondents' Dinner on Saturday night was this: "I am determined to make the most of every moment I have left. After the midterm elections, my advisors asked me 'Mr. President, do...
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The Best of #DescribeYourSexLifeInATVShow

(0) Comments | Posted April 21, 2015 | 7:27 PM

We love it when Twitter puts its collective hive mind in the gutter. Here are some of the best tweets around the recently trending hashtag #DescribeYourSexLifeInATvShow.

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Analysis of Some of the Recent Sexist Tweets About Hillary's Campaign

(0) Comments | Posted April 15, 2015 | 3:17 PM

Yep, we totally live in a post-feminist world, where gender doesn't matter, everyone's on an equal playing field, and sexism has been stamped out. And can we get a pony, while we're at it? Maybe a unicorn? Because that's just not the reality we live in. Below are just a...

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Why Marriage Vows Should Include Sex

(1) Comments | Posted April 15, 2015 | 2:41 PM

Traditional marriage vows cover better and worse; sickness and health; riches and poverty; forsaking all others... but not its opposite. What is the opposite of forsaking all others, anyway? Well, if forsaking all others is about the absence of sex (with other people), then its opposite, in our...

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Why You Should Sign More Petitions: White House Endorses Ban on Conversion Therapy

(2) Comments | Posted April 9, 2015 | 6:12 PM

Earlier this year, transgender teen Leelah Alcorn committed suicide and said, in her suicide note, that her family had forced her to see Christian therapists who told her that she was  "selfish and wrong and that I should look to God for help." Soon after, a White House...

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