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Em & Lo
Em & Lo like to consider themselves the Emily Posts of the modern bedroom. They've co-authored seven books on the topics of sex and love: 150 Shades of Play: A Beginner’s Guide to Kink; SEX: How to Do Everything; three A-Z guides, Buh Bye, Rec Sex and Sex Toy; The Big Bang: Nerve’s Guide to the New Sexual Universe; and Sex Etiquette for Ladies and Gentlemen. They've contributed to numerous anthologies, including Sex and Sensibility: 28 True Romances from the Lives of Single Women, as well as publications including Glamour, Details, New York, Marie Claire, Slate and, in the UK, The Times, The Guardian, The Telegraph, Esquire, GQ and many more. They are also are the hosts of a ten-episode television series called “SEX: How to Do Everything,” which aired on Fiver in the UK. Em & Lo currently blog about all things love- and sex-related at

Entries by Em & Lo

An Audience Member at 'The Men Tell All' Tells All

(0) Comments | Posted July 22, 2014 | 1:24 PM

Our friend Laurie Sandell is not only a celebrity interviewer for women's magazines like In Style, Glamour and Marie Claire; she is also a Bachelor Nation superfan. She started a private Facebook group for her like-minded friends (like us) called "Monday Night You-Know-What Discussion Group." She once bagged the White...

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Top 10 Love Lessons From The Bachelorette (Andi's Fantasy Suites)

(0) Comments | Posted July 15, 2014 | 2:42 PM

We always look forward to the Fantasy Suite episodes -- contestants get naked, both literally and figuratively, and sh*t gets real. The Bachelor or Bachelorette may or may not sleep with three hopefuls in three days -- and it's all made possible by the host-slash-pimp, Chris. Unless, of course, it's...

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Top 10 Things We Will Tell Our Daughters About Sex

(5) Comments | Posted July 10, 2014 | 3:02 PM

The two of us accidentally bred on the same schedule, which means we both have 6-year-old daughters. We have long joked about the hazards of being both sex writers and parents (and in a small town, too, no less): What will they say at the P.T.A.? What if our daughters...

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8 Ways to Overcome Anxiety About a Gynecologist Visit

(2) Comments | Posted June 20, 2014 | 5:51 PM

Nervous about going to the gynecologist? That's a bummer.

OK, that's all the sympathy you're going to get from us, because you've got to get over it. Your health is at stake, especially once you're sexually active -- and there's nothing more important.

We all have to do things we...

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Dads Suffer Too: Helping Bereaved Fathers Cope With Loss

(0) Comments | Posted June 12, 2014 | 11:18 AM contributor Tara Shafer is the founder of, a site dedicated to helping parents cope with pregnancy and infant loss, especially through story sharing. She's teamed up with the filmmakers of "Return to Zero" (which has been getting Emmy buzz lately, especially for Minnie Driver's...

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4 (More) Early Warning Signs of a Toxic Relationship

(0) Comments | Posted May 29, 2014 | 10:32 AM

Dear Em & Lo,

I am a woman from Mumbai, India. I fell in love with Alex when she was in India, and we spent six months together, bundled up in her apartment mostly. Once she left India she became extremely obsessed with our relationship, and I was more than...

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I'm 21 and Tired Of Being Single

(0) Comments | Posted May 22, 2014 | 4:31 PM

Dear Em & Lo,

I am 21-years-old. I am currently single and not dating anyone. I have only been in love once in my life, but unfortunately the relationship did not work out. It's frustrating being the single one in...

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Why Backdoor Play Won't 'Turn Him Gay'

(0) Comments | Posted May 19, 2014 | 1:42 PM

We get a lot of advice questions into around the concern many straight men have with receiving -- and, heaven forbid, enjoying -- a little anal attention from their female partners. Just this week we got another comment on the topic:

My boyfriend has recently...
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The 5 Stages of Sexual Grief

(0) Comments | Posted May 15, 2014 | 3:59 PM

Making huge mistakes in bed -- we're talking those of epic proportions -- is a universal experience. People from all walks of life do bad things they regret in the morning -- it's an inevitable part of life and love. But while there is no right way to mourn...

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Top 10 Love Lessons of Sixteen Candles

(1) Comments | Posted May 12, 2014 | 12:25 PM


This week marks the 30th (!) anniversary of Sixteen Candles, one of the greatest teen movies of all time (right next to John Hughes' other classic, The Breakfast Club). At a time when most high school/college movies were raunchy, sexist tales...

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I'm Having Sex Right Now! #Blessed

(0) Comments | Posted May 7, 2014 | 12:01 AM

We laughed out loud at the recent New York Times article poking fun at the many ways people use the hashtag "blessed" to describe strokes of luck or good fortune (and yes, the Styles section is one of our go-to...
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10 Things That Feel Better Than Getting Revenge on an Ex

(31) Comments | Posted May 4, 2014 | 9:47 AM

The new movie The Other Woman starring Cameron Diaz, Leslie Mann and Kate Upton, features three women who join forces to get revenge on the guy who, it turns out, was sleeping with all three of them (and married to one of them). But while creative, collaborative revenge on an...

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Top 10 Male Celebrity Feminists Andrew Garfield Could Learn From

(2) Comments | Posted April 25, 2014 | 12:19 PM


Emma Stone went viral this week when she called out her boyfriend, Andrew Garfield, for his casual sexism during a Q&A session promoting The Amazing Spider-Man 2. When a little boy asked Garfield how Spider-Man got his costume, he...

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Dear Em & Lo: How Great Should First-Time Sex With a New Partner Be?

(2) Comments | Posted April 24, 2014 | 2:58 PM

Dear Em and Lo,

I was married for 20 years and now I am not. I've dated a couple of guys since becoming single six months ago (the relationship was over long before it was over, so the grieving has been done). Recently, I met a guy that...

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Dear Em & Lo: How Can I Find Someone to Love Me... and My Labia?

(0) Comments | Posted April 23, 2014 | 9:24 PM

Dear Em & Lo,

I have an enlarged labia, which I've heard referred to as beef curtains, roast beef, etc. It's such a problem that I can't have a relationship, and I refuse guys to the point where they think...

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What the Pets In Your Online Dating Photo Mean

(4) Comments | Posted April 22, 2014 | 12:39 PM


Scientific research about whether you should include a pet in your online dating profile pic is, not surprisingly, rather flimsy. According to some studies, a dog in your profile photograph is guaranteed to get the replies rolling on (even if you admit...

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Top 10 Relationship Tips From the IRS

(0) Comments | Posted April 15, 2014 | 6:01 PM

We've taken this year's Top 10 Tax Time Tips from the IRS and tweaked them for your dating life. Because sex is valuable, and money is pretty sexy.  Plus, the IRS likes to refer to itself in the third person,...
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Re-Casting The Breakfast Club for 2014

(3) Comments | Posted March 26, 2014 | 5:40 PM


Did you know that this week is the 30th anniversary of the Saturday detention in the 1985 movie The Breakfast Club? Thirty freakin' years! Man, we're old. Not only do we know the entire movie by heart, we could even recite...

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Top 10 Sex and Relationship Tips from The Breakfast Club

(0) Comments | Posted March 25, 2014 | 1:19 PM

In honor of the 30th anniversary of the Saturday detention in The Breakfast Club, we decided to imagine a 2014 remake of The Breakfast Club (and, yes, just the thought of this horrifies us, too!). As we took a trip down memory lane, calling up some of our...

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Dear Em & Lo: My Husband Photoshopped My Nude Photos

(1) Comments | Posted March 13, 2014 | 10:30 AM


Dear Em & Lo,

While on our honeymoon, we took advantage of a rainy day to stay lazily in our beautiful hotel room all day. We crossed a boundary we hadn't crossed before: nude photography! We'd been playing with the idea for a...

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