THE BLOG
04/08/2014 03:07 pm ET | Updated Jun 08, 2014

The 68 Stages Of Doing Your Taxes

  1. I'm going to file my taxes in January this year.

  • Shit, I missed Tax Day.
  • Wait, when is Tax Day?
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  • Are any of my friends accountants?

  • I have to know AT LEAST one accountant.

  • I bet my parents know how to do this.

  • I should call my parents.

  • Can I do my taxes through Facebook?

  • So what happens if I just tell the IRS I forgot?

  • I guess a refund does sound good.

  • I can just use TurboTax.

  • Maybe if I complain about taxes on Twitter something good will happen.

  • I've literally been paying taxes all year. What is this bullshit?

  • I can't use TurboTax.

  • H&R Block, is that a sunscreen?

  • I actually have no idea how much money I made last year.

  • Maybe I didn't make enough money to pay taxes.

  • If you look at it THAT way, I'm richer than I thought.

  • Well isn't that a personal question, tax software.

  • NOBODY TOLD ME ABOUT THIS.

  • Now I understand why rich people lie about this stuff.

  • LOL, receipts.
  • filing taxes

  • I guess this isn't so hard.

  • Maybe I should be an accountant.

  • Or maybe it's time for a beer break.

  • WHY DO I LIVE IN NEW YORK CITY?!

  • I thought Brooklyn had lower taxes...

  • Wait, is this a scam?

  • All of a sudden marriage doesn't sound all that scary.

  • I'm going to file for an extension.

  • Do I need to claim my coin jar as an asset?

  • Can I deduct the cost of my new bicycle?

  • Why did I have to grow up?

  • Why isn't my dad calling me back?

  • I'm going to send a follow-up text.

  • Can I claim my cat as a dependent?

  • Ugh, Dad is mad I waited this long to file my taxes.

  • How did I even do this last year?

  • Did I not file my taxes before?

  • OK, time for a second lunch.

  • I wonder how I'll spend my refund. I should probably invest it.

  • Crap, so that boring document I got in the mail a couple months ago from my employer WAS important.
  • form w2

    This is a W-2 form. It is important.

  • Wasn't there a Simpsons episode about taxes? I should probably watch that.

  • Welp, I'm now a Republican.

  • Do I have to declare that Chanukkah gift from Grandma?

  • I should donate a LOT more to charity.

  • There's no way I did this right.

  • Maybe I should start looking for those receipts.

  • I'm totally getting audited.

  • I want a sandwich.

  • There's nothing "Turbo" about this at all.
  • It looks soooo nice out.
  • How did people do this before the Internet?
  • I'm totally going to buy a new laptop with my refund.
  • This question is literally not in English.
  • How do people who aren't as smart as me do this?
  • I'm going to come back to this tomorrow.
  • I can't believe people choose to be accountants.
  • Even my cat is bored now.
  • I seriously need to get better about time management.
  • Why didn't they ever teach us how to do this in school?
  • I'm pretty sure the federal government will get by without these 30 bucks.
  • They don't even try to make this fun.
  • There's no way everyone does this on time.
  • Score! Uncle Sam owes ME money!
  • Now I'm going to order a fancy meal on Seamless.
  • I deserve a good night out after this.
  • I'm going to file my taxes in January next year.
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