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Emily Peck

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Knocked Up And Afraid Of Your Boss? Don't Be

Posted: 07/17/2012 5:55 pm

A few years ago, I desperately needed a raise and only had a few months to get one, or so I thought.

Just a few weeks pregnant with my second child, I was giddily expecting a new baby but deeply worried about the cost. Bankrolling my husband and 2-year-old son on a single income was already dicey. The prospect of affording a reasonable amount of maternity leave and subsequent lifetime of doubling down on kid expenses -- from diapers through college tuition -- was daunting. (Yes, we chose to have a second, and no, we did not perform thorough due diligence on our budget.)

As I saw it, I had about three to four months to negotiate for more money or a promotion or find a new job before my body took me out of the running. I worried that my higher-ups would think that I wasn't serious about work and that they would believe I'd be distracted by family obligations.

The news about Marissa Mayer apparently proves me wrong.

On Monday, Mayer, a 37-year-old engineer with more than a decade experience at Google, scored the top job at Yahoo, making her the 20th female CEO in the Fortune 500. Later that day, Mayer stunned many when she revealed that she is pregnant with her first child and due in October.

Mayer, also now the youngest CEO on Fortune's list, told the magazine that Yahoo's board of directors were apparently unconcerned with her pregnancy. "They showed their evolved thinking," she told Fortune's Patricia Sellers.

In a TED talk a few years ago, one of Mayer's former peers at Google, Sheryl Sandberg, told professional women "don't leave before you leave." In other words, don't scale back your career ambitions because you plan on having a family someday.

Mayer's promotion certainly lends credence to that advice. She worked insane hours in her first years at Google, pulling at least one all-nighter a week, according to this story from the Wall Street Journal's FINS site, which highlights this quote:

"Part of Google was it was the right time and we had a great technology, but the other part was we worked really, really hard," she said. "It was 130 hour weeks. People say, 'there's only 168 hours in a week, how can you do it?' Well, if you're strategic about when you shower and sleeping under your desk, it can be done."

These aren't the words of a woman who's checked out early in anticipation of a new baby.

For me, checking out wasn't ever an option. Even when I had my first kid and my new mom brain was fogged by sleepless nights, I still needed to make money. Indeed, that need was even greater -- as it is for many many millions of women, mothers and, yes, fathers. We all need to believe that pregnancy does not block your career trajectory.

Some bloggers point out that Mayer is in rarefied company. She can afford to work endless hours and can hire a team of nannies to make it all work. Still, however exceptional her good news might be, it is inspiring.

Her example came two years too late for me. But, as it turns out, I did not need to worry. I started asking for a raise when I was just a few weeks pregnant, ultimately raising my hand for a promotion at work. Then, as my due date approached and my managers waffled around, I broke the news.

They also "showed their evolved thinking."

Dear reader, I got that promotion.

 
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A few years ago, I desperately needed a raise and only had a few months to get one, or so I thought. Just a few weeks pregnant with my second child, I was giddily expecting a new baby but deeply worr...
A few years ago, I desperately needed a raise and only had a few months to get one, or so I thought. Just a few weeks pregnant with my second child, I was giddily expecting a new baby but deeply worr...
 
 
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Kriol Kidd
Laissez les bons temps rouler les gens
02:08 PM on 07/20/2012
I can honestly say that I'm torn on this subject.

No woman deserves to get fired because they are pregnant, but how can a small business keep running if they temporarily lose an employee?
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sweetpatriot
28,woman,healthcareworker,polyglot,bisexual.
08:25 PM on 07/18/2012
"Knocked Up" are you kidding?
06:00 PM on 07/18/2012
Kind of makes you wonder why these women wouldn't go over their contracts before-hand to ensure they're guaranteed maternity leave, as many companies provide.
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Black Rhino
11:57 PM on 07/18/2012
Most people have standard employment contracts, and bosses aren't empowered to negotiate increased vacation. There are standard HR rules, usually.

Only the top notch execs could theoretically negotiate like this...
11:33 AM on 07/19/2012
Maternity leave isn't vacation though, they're getting several months off after the pregnancy to recover, recuperate and spend time with their baby/ies 
05:49 PM on 07/18/2012
No one is afraid of their boss unless they fear losing their job. A reality for many women.
04:10 PM on 07/18/2012
No matter what job you have, it is still consider employee and has lots of pressure. Stay healthy with high quality food nutritive!
http://www.shop.com/Isotonix+reg+OPC+3+reg+-561800349-p+.xhtml#
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12:04 PM on 07/18/2012
Your reference "knocked up" is as crude and vulgar as it can get.

The higher you go on the corporate ladder? The easier it gets- the perks get better, you don't wrangle details. Everything is on a high level and it trickles down. This is not someone who has to provide detailed work every day on time to multiple people.

I was responsible for the fulltime care of a terminally ill parent. I worked 2 jobs. No one on my day job ever knew what I was doing ... I was afraid of being terminated.

I know what corner offices do. I've worked long enough
10:07 AM on 07/18/2012
"Knocked Up?" Really? "Knocked Up"? I worked as a engineer when I was "Knocked Up" and I don't remember anyone fawning over me. I find it hard to believe in this day and age that Marisa Mayer is being worshiped like a Goddess when there are millions of women out there without her resources that have been working as many hours and more than she has through their pregnancies and you refer to them as being "Knocked-Up"!!!!! Is she "Knocked Up"? All I can say is she is not my hero. She never will be. And I refuse to worship women like her when there are too many others out there that should be because they have beat greater odds to have a job and a family. I think CEOs in general shouldn't be worshiped - whether they are men or women. Its the rest of us that make it possible for them to do what they do. And referring to women who have the audacity to want to keep their jobs when they are pregnant and after (like women get to do in Canada and all over Europe without a thought) as "Knocked Up" only makes it easier for all of these depressive state laws concerning women's health care to get passed every day. Thanks a lot. NO wonder we are headed back to the 1800s...
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Black Rhino
02:26 PM on 07/18/2012
Why should firms hold jobs for more than the mandated time period (16 weeks)? Firms have to run a business...if you want time off for your personal family issues/decisions/needs, that's your business, and not the firm's.
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09:09 AM on 07/18/2012
You're misreading the situation with Marissa Mayer.
05:40 AM on 07/18/2012
As long as you keep referring to a pregnancy as being "knocked up" you will not help with the progression of women in the work place or anywhere else.
oilfield
large employer per obamacare
12:49 AM on 07/18/2012
they could have long maternity leaves like in norway and then folks in certain industries wouldnt hire women.
11:13 AM on 07/18/2012
If you had to provide long maternity leaves no sector would be looking to hire a woman.
11:47 PM on 07/17/2012
'Knocked-up' - No Worries, B-HO and the the rest of the those that pay paxes to the rescue.
10:29 PM on 07/17/2012
Geez, a ceo? Like that is a hsrd job. If it was wait on tables or work retail for pennies that would be hard. Having everything you need and want is not.
oilfield
large employer per obamacare
12:48 AM on 07/18/2012
right, everyone could be ceo....
07:26 AM on 07/18/2012
They can it's easy

The misconception is that the higher up the ladder one progresses the harder the job, that's a myth. The higher you go the easier it is, it has ALOT of perks.

CEO's make decisions on the macro scale that's it. End of day go play golf.

The only tough thing they do is give speeches to different groups and most of the time the speech is prewritten by a grunt staff and it's the same speech over and over.
01:38 AM on 07/18/2012
Romney was a CEO when he retired "retroactively". Obviously this isn't a very difficult job
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10:19 PM on 07/17/2012
Did you get promoted to the fry station?
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Darius Molark
de gustibus non est disputandum
10:07 PM on 07/17/2012
HP won't let me comment on that new Yahoo head, it appears all my comments are utterly nasty and satirical and not good for progressive views. So I will be positive, here. Yahoo needs good and pretty eye candy for the line above the bottom line. but for the bottom where my money lay - just keep that pretense away. (let's see if this makes it!)
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televisionsets
It's the price you pay for living in a society
09:56 PM on 07/17/2012
You should be able to fire a pregnant women for getting knocked.

It is the price we pay to live in a civilized society.
01:13 AM on 07/18/2012
You can't be serious. I hope you never run a business.
11:14 AM on 07/18/2012
Try running a small business and then let me know. Let me know what happens if you have a handful of employees and two go out at once on maternity leave. Then let me know if you would do anything to mitigate that risk in the future, yup.