"Look, you're not ready to have a baby."
This is the message that blogger (and fairly-new mom) Tracy Moore spells out for readers in her recent piece on Jezebel -- specifically those thinking about having children in the not-too-distant future:
Ready!? Pshaw! Anyone who thinks they are actually ready to stare this beast directly in the eyes isn't wearing her cervical thinkin' cap. It's like, can you be "ready" for a cyclone? Can you be "ready" for the moon? Can you be "ready" for a dinosaur eating a cupcake?
Moore goes on to suggest a list of drills that future parents should undertake to test their own preparedness for the rigors of child-rearing. These include:
--Wake up every two hours at night, punch yourself in the face, walk around for 28 minutes pleading in jibberish. Go back to "sleep." Repeat.
--Socialize with friends in 18-second increments.
--Practice asking for the check, boxing up your food and exiting a restaurant in under sixty seconds -- two bites into the meal.
--Watch 38% of any film or television show; never see the ending or resolution.
--Hire a makeup artist to make you up to look 10 years older. Look at yourself in the mirror, then laugh, cry, laugh, cry, laugh, cry. Do not go get a drink.
--Imagine a mental written list of your responsibilities for each day, tear it in half, burn one piece, take a (literal) sh*t on the other one. (Sorry.)
Reading this tongue-in-cheek (sort of) "you'll never really be prepared to have kids" blog got the me thinking about all the reasons that it's awesome to NOT have kids. I personally would like to have children at some point down the line (at least I'm pretty sure), but right now I'm content to live a life that just wouldn't be possible if I was financially and emotionally responsible for another human being.
Here's a (totally not exhaustive) list of reasons that I don't have kids right now:
1. I love being able to grab a drink( or two) with my co-workers after leaving the office -- and not feeling guilty if I get back to my apartment a little tipsy at a slightly inappropriate hour for a weekday.
2. I love living in New York City. I live in Manhattan in a lovely but small space. Where would I even put a crib? On the fire escape?
3. I never need to think about hiring a babysitter or worrying about whether said 16-year-old babysitter is a sane/responsible human being.
4. The ability to make last minute plans. On Saturday mornings I can sleep in as late as I want. When I do leave the house, I can pop over to a museum or Central Park or see a movie or have brunch, and I can decide on one -- or none -- of those things at the drop of a hat.
5. Provided I have the funds, and give my bosses a reasonable amount of heads up, I can go on vacation whenever and wherever I want.
6. I can have a spontaneous dance party at 1 a.m. in my apartment and not worry about waking anyone up.
7. My money is my own. Period.
Now let's hear from you. If you're a woman without children -- regardless of whether you see yourself having them at some point or never want them -- tell us why. What do you love most about not having kids? Tweet @HuffPostWomen using the hashtag #NotNowBaby. We'll compile your responses in a slideshow here!
LOOK: Why You're Saying #NotNowBaby
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I can sleep in the afternoon without any compunction.
I won't have to pay for any person's college but my own.
Sleeping late, sleeping late, sleeping late.
I don't pee when I sneeze.
My arthritic hands don't have to attempt child-proof caps.
My cat doesn't require a babysitter
Vacations in September.
I don't have to care about 'attachment parenting'.
I spend very little on groceries, and can go out and eat when I want and don't have to worry about if "little Timmy" has an allergy to this or that or if it is healthy enough.
I have the time and resources to help people in my community and outside my community, instead of bringing another child into this already crowded world and just spending money on it,by helping my community I'm helping to make the world a better place.
I have money to help take care of my mom and grandmother(which some selfish parents name as a reason for having kids. This is not the case with my mom and grandma, they did not have kids to take care of them in their old age.)
I have more free time to enjoy the things I like to do, like joining a hiking club, taking writing classes, art classes, or just plain laying out in the grass and letting the sun beat down upon my face and I won't have to worry about someone yelling or crying and disturbing my peace.
There are so many more reasons, but these are just some of my favorites.
If it's true that women have a tendency to help, care for and nurture other beings, wouldn't those qualities be better expressed on this beleaguered world rather than a baby? We women need to make that time/energy/money to become the compassionate leaders that the world desperately needs right now. At the very least we need to turn that caring energy toward healing ourselves. Or spend that extra money on our education and self-betterment.
One less american child, one less MASSIVE carbon footprint. The stats are SICK:
"Last year, Oregon State University released a study showing that going childless is a better way help the environment than recycling, driving an energy-efficient car, or using compact fluorescent bulbs. It’s 20 times more effective, in fact. Raising a kiddo in the United States can tack an extra 9,441 metric tons of carbon dioxide to a person’s carbon legacy. By having a single child, one individual’s environmental impact will increase almost six-fold."
I'm not anti-child or anti-mom, i'm "pro choice". For the women who do have children I think we should help them because they are doing an extremely important job. For example, there should be paid maternity leave and affordable childcare.
I'm very grateful for this article. Women need to hear some positive encouragement and truth around the notion of waiting and/or never having a child.
Hmm....it's such a long list that it's difficult to decide on what the best part is.
I think everything on my list would fall under the category of "freedom". I love being free from the responsibility of caring and tending to another human being. Yes, it may sound self centered of me but it's the truth. I love not having to alter my whole life for another human being.
Too many people out there rush into childbearing without thinking about the future of themselves and the child involved.