THE BLOG
02/09/2009 05:12 am ET | Updated Nov 17, 2011

No More Body Bashing

After a lot's been said and mean-spirited songs have aired on the radio, common jokes abound and while Oprah herself stepped out being not so kind for her weight "infraction," I took a moment to share my feelings on the subject at CNN's ShowBiz Tonight.

I, as well as women around the world, treasure Oprah and really give her enormous credit to come out openly about this, but in such a body bashing way? I feel we have all moved forward (mainly thanks to her) leaps and bounds but then to revert to this self-defeating and depreciating manner, and all for a few pounds? Call me crazy but does this really help us feel more connected to her as women? Without a question, we can relate. We feel her pain, been there and done that. But isn't there a more gentle and loving way to be aware of ourselves despite what happens on the scale? The better we treat ourselves, the easier it is to get back on "the routine." Not the other way around.

Being more fleshy or round or thin or straight is neither right or wrong... we must learn that someway -- deeply feel it someday. The question to ask always is, are we healthy? If Oprah feels she is unhealthy, then I'd love to be reminded how to get back my mojo, to loving feeling strong, empowered and healthy again. To be proud of ourselves, to begin again and to forgive ourselves for not being so great at being perfect and mastering the art of balancing. I honestly don't know one person in my life who does anything 100% consistently, do you? I feel there could be some freedom to accept that this is a recurring theme in all of our lives, including Oprah. There is no way to stay at only one weight during the year, is not humanly possible (unless you are born with a certain metabolism) or choose to take drastic measures. To either force ourselves to remain at too low or bear too heavy a weight, mother nature fixes herself. She always wins.

It's time, we must accept our bodies not as objects to manipulate but ones to appreciate, feed, exercise and have fun in. Our minds, bodies and souls are attached and housed in what we willingly choose to chop, starve, force feed and speak harshly to. Definitely we have a disconnect as a nation here. We all could take a page from Oprah's angst and rage and reconsider how we treat ourselves on a physical level? Would we speak to a good friend like the way we speak to our bodies in the mirror everyday? Perhaps we need to feed ourselves with emotional nutrients more, to laugh when we giggle, to hug and hold our stomachs no matter how flat or round or full and give thanks for handling the past years of neglect. To make promises to cherish no matter what color, shape, or size we happen to be right now, to find gratitude in how we are housed which leads us to finding joy and happiness there, too. To train ourselves like a dog to be well to our bodies instead of destructive.

We are the only ones who can accept responsibility to care for ourselves -- no one, no matter how rich or poor we are, the buck stops here. Again, it all gets down to health. No, it's not healthy to fluctuate an enormous amount year in, year out. Yes, we need to go deeper and ask hard questions of our past relationships, belief systems and old themes that still run in our heads today sometimes from 30 years ago. Change is hard, answering hard questions is even harder... but ultimately the reality of living the life you have right now is all that counts.

I love the saying: stay in the present, it's the best gift of all...

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