To be one’s true self is the goal in life. This blog series would not exist if it weren’t for a reunion with an old friend who had all the makings of a modern-day Mozart. But at a pivotal fork in the road, he chose the path behind a desk, instead of one behind a keyboard, which would’ve honored his gift - like Mozart did. Now, 20 years later, he’s unrecognizable, this friend who once had music radiating from every cell, especially when singing in random bursts of happiness. The years have taken their toll - not just in the added 20 pounds that don’t belong, but in the heaviness that comes when living someone else’s life, and not one’s true purpose. The life you came here to live.
As a writer, this inspired me to highlight the special souls who chose to follow their true path. The tougher path, but one that honors and expresses the powerful gift of music they’ve been given. To live the Mozart life. May some of their words help or inspire you to find your true calling in life.
When Debbi Blackwell-Cook sang at the 2010 wedding of her goddaughter Helen to Def Leppard’s Phil Collen, she and Collen hit it off musically. She found herself visiting often singing Motown tunes and blues with Collen and it evolved into what’s now their band Delta Deep. She sings background on the 2015 self-titled Def Leppard album, as well as for Michael Buble and Gregory Hines. Blackwell-Cook reflects on how the music flows through her, the catalyst that enabled a shy girl to sing out, what her truth is, and what her late son said to her in a dream right after she lost him.
On your Delta Deep album you wrote original songs on there with Phil, how do you find inspiration for the music? Is there somewhere deep within that you know where the inspiration comes from? It’s said that’s when we’re most connected to our true selves, Higher Selves.
Inspiration for the music is a sweet kiss straight from God to me. It comes from the truth of my everyday journey. I believe we were connected with our purpose before we were formed.
Can you talk about how a song came to you, how you channeled that, was it a melody first and then lyrics for example and what is your songwriting process, do you have a routine like work on music a certain time of day?
I have always been a channel for song. When I am inspired to write the song that has already found me it simply comes into fruition through pen and paper whenever it wants to. There is no set formula I use to create. It spills out of me. I believe Phil, my goddaughter Helen and I were ordained to write together. The music easily flows out of us. I’d say we average about 10 minutes tops getting a song written.
Do you feel that’s your calling, to do blues music? How did you know that this is your life path, your calling? How do you know when you’re on the correct path?
My calling is to sing without limitation-to serve, inspire and move in all genres of music which I do sing. There’s no box with me. I sing house, rock gospel, jazz, R and B, country western and anything else you want to name. I simply ‘sing’. When you’re told your voice changes lives and hearts there is no doubt that I am on the path I should be on.
When did you know you had this gift of music and how did it manifest for you?
My mother told me that as a baby I would play an imaginary piano in my crib. She said I was singing before I could talk. The gift was in me before I could give it a name.
How did you start to do the human discipline it takes to channel your gift, hone it, and bring it forth?
Passion took over. This is not work to me. It’s a God-given privilege to minister through music so I don’t have to hone my talent because I own my talent. The music is me and I am the music.
There are divine moments of serendipity, where a catalyst opens the door that leads to the path we’re meant to be on, the one where we live out the fullest expression of our true selves. What was that moment for you and how did it happen?
When I was little girl I sang in my church choir. I used to be timid until my godmother Ann Stancil told me to sing out. She believed in me when I was shy and ‘soft-voiced’. My voice grew and matured. With that came the acceptance and understanding that the music had always been my truth.
What inspired this blog series was seeing an old friend who has a special gift of music, but didn’t choose that path, who, 20 years later, isn’t living the life he thought he would live. People who make music and get to travel the world doing so are a rare example of a life where one is able to honor and channel their gift of music. What are your thoughts?
Again, passion for me is key. My truth is music. My life is so blessed beyond my imagination.
Do you feel you’re consciously living the life you thought you would be living, say from 20 years ago?
I can’t say it enough. This is my calling. I am ordained to sing. It’s what I do and have always done. Twenty years ago I was doing this, 30 years ago I was doing this, 40 years ago I was doing this, well, you get my drift. As I stated earlier I’ve been doing this from the crib. Not everyone has decades of performances archived. I’m blessed and proud of my time.
I’ve said in a blog post about living the Mozart life, that it may be a tougher road to choose, but you’re fully living your true selves. Do you resonate to that?
Definitely.
You didn’t choose the 9 to 5.
I did what I needed to do to support my passion and my family as a true artist would. From Broadway to singing for the former Pope John Paul II at the Vatican to working as a facilities manager for Citibank Corp and everything in between, I’ve been there - working. A lot of people I’m meeting these days don’t know this but I’m an award winning actress. I’ve performed on and off-Broadway, television, tons of plays, movies, and TV. I’m a licensed cosmetologist and makeup artist. My work has graced the covers of beauty magazines as well as music videos and movies. I’m a master barber and have taught aesthetics for several years. I am the proud mother of five children aged 28 (D’Rock’s age when he transitioned) to 45 including a former NFL Giants football player, a professional ballet dancer who was a member of Canada’s second largest ballet company and Broadway’s ‘Riverdance’. My daughter Nikia, who now has a daughter of her own was the first black baby to do a principal commercial for ‘Huggies’ diapers. My sons also continued to work in television commercials. D’Roderick worked in Maryland as a professional sound engineer at Morgan State University’s prestigious Murphy Fine Arts Center. In the midst of my passion I was also a ‘show biz mom’ for my children. So as you can see the work never stopped and I love it.
But to embark on this path you chose, was that difficult? Because you didn’t know you would get here.
Not knowing where I would be wasn’t an issue. Believing and having no doubt that I would be here was no question. On every level I knew I was doing what I was supposed to do to be here. It’s all about growing and putting in the work. It’s was more a matter of ‘when,’ not a matter of ‘if’.
Life does give us catalysts, a release valve, which often is our lowest point in life, that allows us to push up to the next, hopefully better chapter. Like a desert, wilderness period in life, that helps raise our consciousness and stay true to yourself and your own path. What was that low point for you that helped you push yourself further, evolve and do better, and what did you do when you had that epiphany?
I have always put in 100% when it comes to my gift. No low or high point could act as an ‘activation’ for that which always was. Still, when my youngest son D’Roderick Cook was murdered and I received the news, I was with Phil and Helen in Las Vegas. Phil caught me as I fell to the floor and he fell to the floor with me. Then in a dream my son came to me and said, “Mommy, sing my life.” Phil made that new phase of song happen with the formation of Delta Deep. Phil picked me up from that floor literally and put me back in front of the microphone. From there he, Helen and I wrote the Delta Deep album and it’s been healing me ever since, as I honor my son’s request. Life must go on.
It’s been a tough year for music, losing its own. What are your thoughts on time, how it seems to go by faster each year. Perhaps it’s made you reflect on what you want to achieve in the time we’re given here? Do you think about time much and what you want to achieve in the time we have?
I’m using my time to ‘sing D’Rock’s life.’
Unlike any time in history, we’re in a overwhelming digital era. There is so much detritus, noise and schadenfreude. What’s your view on that, and how do you find quiet in this era?
I stay true to the music inside me.
What do you do to connect with your Higher Self, your true self?
I meditate, pray, cry and all of the above.
Do you have a day you unplug for example? How do you ground yourself, focus on your own life path and purpose?
I trust in God.
I’m a firm believer in doing mitzvahs, especially in the tougher times of our lives. To give back, be of service in some way, to use our time most wisely, can only help us in the end. What are your thoughts and do you try to do your own mitzvahs to help others?
Sure. A smile goes a long way as does ‘thank you,’ ‘please’ and a song for the soul.
What advice do you have for people who have the gift of music, but don’t know how to start channeling it, to develop that gift and bring it out?
Don’t do it for the hopes of being rich. Do it because you have a never ending, constantly burning passion to do it. Do it because you love it, can’t do without it, can’t sleep without it. Do it for free and be happy. Let the perks be unexpected rewards you could do without.
What do you do to help pick yourself up when you’re feeling down, and help you stay the course?
I pray first. But I do like facials and foot massages too. (laughs)
Is there a song you play that inspires you when you’re needing some inspiration or to pick yourself up?
I play my grandmother’s old gospel music. There’s nothing like that ole time religion.