I think you're my friend and then you surprise me

12/04/2016 07:00 pm ET

You think you know who your friends are and then they surprise you. Not all the surprises are bad. Sometimes you are surprised by love. You didn’t know this person cared that much, and there he or she is, picking you up, handing your dignity back. It’s such a human thing to want to be on top, and being on top requires that someone else be on bottom or at least down below you and the way they get there is sometimes by falling.

If you are religious, you might believe that is god in you that constrains you to act wisely, and your human failings that make you act badly. Some people will even describe bad behavior, evil behavior as inhuman. But bad behavior is so human. And if the goodness that causes you to behave with love, is god for you, that’s great too.

What makes us better than ourselves is when we find our core best self and act on that best self, and that means forgiving others for their mistakes, accepting we make mistakes too and getting to the other side of the mistake to that side where you are both sitting together with your feet out the window of a tall building, and you’re looking down and knowing you aren’t going to jump, you’re just sitting there because life is that fragile.

It’s odd how snap, you realize, we were never friends! I only imagined we were friends and snap, you realize with someone else, you and I walking down the same road. I didn’t know it, but we are here and having you walk beside me is making this a whole lot easier.

And then, there are big lasting friendships. Cell mate friendships. We will always be friends because we went through this or that together. Friends that you don’t see for months and months and then you pick up the other side of the quilt and keep sewing.

We are all windows for other feet, doors for others to walk through.

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