International life advisor, writer and relationship expert.
International life advisor, writer and relationship expert.
This post was published on the now-closed HuffPost Contributor platform. Contributors control their own work and posted freely to our site. If you need to flag this entry as abusive, send us an email.
The Questions to Ask Yourself Before You Jump In
Making love to anyone is a prospect that we should always approach with caution, however impulsive we may feel at the moment.
There are categories of need in every intimate bond: safety, security, strength, recognition, acknowledgment, respect, tenderness, trust, loyalty, and a sense of belonging.
Advertisement
These needs come in many guises, but if you can name just one or two core values that you both share, that sets you on the path to healing the bond. And if you can’t, take this as a sign that’s something’s seriously off.
We spend so much time thinking and analyzing what’s in front of us and what’s happening around us that we dictate what our future should be; that is, we orchestrate the events to suit our desires and propel ourselves into a state of act and react.
If you feel as though your romantic relationship is struggling, it is important to take a minute and ask yourself some simple but essential questions:
What do I need?
What does the other person need?
Do I feel okay about asking for it?
Can they comfortably ask for what they require of me?
When it comes to romance, ask yourself what aspects are most important to you. Is loyalty the primary thing you seek? Is it safety and security? Or a love mate with similar interests?
Advertisement
Then ask yourself a few questions about your partner:
Who am I being seduced by?
What is this other person’s primary desire, and is it opposed to mine?
Could this trigger the love addict in me?
If we follow our gut hits, we get the opportunity to observe the signs that are put in front of us. There are always signs if we look for them, and they are put there for us to sense and act or react upon.
When we do give love, remember that our euphoria can switch off our hearts in subtle ways. Before making that jump with anyone, think about what values align with your core, and know that the partners you choose will be much more aligned with what you really want.
“Love is our true destiny. We do not find the meaning of life by ourselves alone — we find it with another.” - Thomas Merton
At HuffPost, we believe that everyone needs high-quality journalism, but we understand that not everyone can afford to pay for expensive news subscriptions. That is why we are committed to providing deeply reported, carefully fact-checked news that is freely accessible to everyone.
Whether you come to HuffPost for updates on the 2024 presidential race, hard-hitting investigations into critical issues facing our country today, or trending stories that make you laugh, we appreciate you. The truth is, news costs money to produce, and we are proud that we have never put our stories behind an expensive paywall.
As Americans head to the polls in 2024, the very future of our country is at stake. At HuffPost, we believe that a free press is critical to creating well-informed voters. That's why our journalism is free for everyone, even though other newsrooms retreat behind expensive paywalls.
Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. Would you consider becoming a regular HuffPost contributor?
Dear HuffPost Reader
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. If circumstances have changed since you last contributed, we hope you’ll consider contributing to HuffPost once more.