Everyone knows that change can be hard, whether it hurts you or is for the benefit of all involved. Change happens everywhere all the time from the changing of the weather and the seasons to changing of emotions or even changing appearances. Sometimes you only really notice changes which spark your memories of what once was. When it comes to personal changes from breaking habits or recovering or even solving problems in relationships, change can be one of the hardest obstacles anyone faces. Stephen Grosz wrote in The Examined Life, “I want to change, but not if it means changing.” That quote alone speaks volumes for the mindset of so many people today. For instance, weight loss can’t happen overnight, it takes an entire healthy lifestyle change to really get the results you may be searching for. But so many people hop on and off diets and routines and supplements before their bodies even begin the fat burning process. When some people live stressful lives, changing can just become another stressor, after all, they have to deal with each day. If you’re dealing with a ton of stress and cut out your friends and family in that moment, it’s going to take a lot of change to get back to their trusting and loving sides. They are your friends and family, but they have their own lives too. On the other hand, this could also apply to addiction. It always starts with, “I can stop when I want to” until it can’t because the addict is in too deep to want to change their life.
It’s a simple trend for people to be afraid of change. Consistency can be comfortable. A daily routine that digs a rut can seem comforting, yet boring leading to the hope for a change. But when something new is introduced to that daily routine, chaos may arise. This doesn’t always last very long and some people adapt to it very quickly, allowing life to progress on forward rather than taking a step back.
Since changing is hard and it means leaving the comfort zone, you can start with a small thing; changing the way you think.
You see, your mind is the main controller of your behaviors and it has a strong power to lead you to be a better person or otherwise. Changing the way you think might be challenging too, but it is the first thing you need to do if you want to change your life. If you’re trying to move on right now, try not to think about how to move on and shift your attention to those people who never leave your side. If you want to lose weight, think about the health instead of the result of your body size. Try to always think differently of something which feels positive and good for your well-being.
Trying to change the way you think is hard in the beginning, but you’ll get used to it. Start to be aware of what your mind is telling you in every situation that you confront, then change it into another point of view which is more positive. Then, without your concern, you will begin to change your behaviors as well. The key is to be aware of what you think inside your mind.
It’s good to have a strong will to change, but you also have to remember that you shouldn’t lose your own self for other people; if you want to change, make sure it’s for your own good. The truth is, you can’t please everyone even though you’re changing everything about yourself. The people who accept the way you are will always stay whether you’re changing or vice versa. Thus, make a change if only it feels right for you, not for other people. At the end of the day, always remember that maybe you’ll never be good enough for everyone, but you’ll always be enough for yourself.
Collaboration with Rayi Noormega and Cassandra Marie Vella